Today I had a endometrial biopsy and hot damn did that hurt.  I even dropped an F bomb quite loudly LOL  

A week from Thursday I will have my hysterectomy.  I am terrified, but at the same time, I deal with it by numbing myself to the fear.  I just put it out of my mind like this: "If anything bad is going to happen, I HAVE to do this, so there is nothing I can do about it".  I know I need this done, and I can't back out, so I will just do it, like I did my upper GI.  I was terrified, but I just went through the motions and felt completely numb about it.  That's the only way I can get through it.  

But for today, I am just resting because the pain (granted, I don't even need medication for it, just a heating pad).  

So, my mother comes out and starts prying.  

Her: "Oh my, is everything okay?"

My husband: "Yes, why?" 

"Because someone had a doctor's appointment this morning!  I assume because nobody was home!"

"Uh huh."

"I have to worry about my big kids!"  

(inner eye roll) "Okay." 

"You should have told me!  Your dog would not stop barking!"  

"Yup, that's what he does." 

"Yeah, you should have told me."  

"Uh huh."  

"Yeah, I realized you weren't home so I kept talking to your dog and it would keep him quiet.  But as soon as I stopped, he started up again."  

"Yup." 

"Yeah, you should have told me and let your dog into the room with me."  

"Uh huh."  

Silence.  

"Okay, I will go get out of your hair."

"Yup."  

Her words anger me to no end (and annoy the shit out of my poor husband).  "I need to worry about my big kids..."  HA!  Where was her worry when I got out of the ER after having a cyst on my ovary explode and she slammed a door into my back two years ago?  Where was her worry or empathy when I would get migraine after migraine (due to my recently inserted IUD) and she would yell or scream ON PURPOSE to make it worse after I would ask her to stop?  Or when she'd slap me in the back of the head when I'd have a migraine?  WHERE WAS HER WORRY OR EMPATHY FOR ANY FUCKING PART OF MY LIFE, EVER???????? 

Her lies, I swear to god, are just baffling and so anger inducing.  I can only HOPE she asks me about this later herself.  I will do what I can to put myself in her path so she will feel compelled to complain to me about the dog and then, by proxy, have to pretend she was worried I was the doctor's office.  And then I will bring up what I just posted, straight to her face.  I know she's incapable of love or empathy.  I know this.  But fuck, does she have to remind me by saying it?  I need her to stop lying and being fake.  Granted, it's a lot to ask, I know, but geezus.  I don't need a reminder that my mother doesn't love or care about me by her lying to me about it.  

Therapy is in two hours and I will have something to talk about this time.

Sigh.  

Mother wants to cash in her lottery tickets.  Why?  She's not allowed to have cash and she knows it.  The last time she bribed Christmas to buy her illegal (illegal in this house) cat medication and I told her she's no longer allowed to have cash.  Ever.  And she wants me to take her to the gas station to cash in her tickets.  I don't even know where she got them!!  I think she stole them from one of my kids' birthdays.  Oh well, I will get them, cash them (if they're still valid) and put the money in my drawer.  She wants to buy juice.  Bullshit.  She has juice in the fridge (diabetic juice at that).  She actually wants to buy cigarettes.  She's down to 3 a day now.  And I guarantee you she wants to beef up her daily intake by buying a pack and supplementing her daily intake of nicotine.  

Like that's going to happen. 

So, on Friday, I took her to get her ID (because her license is not only expired, but lost somewhere).  That was the last time she'll ever need to step foot in a DMV, as at her age they get a lifetime ID.  I told her we should celebrate.  It's a huge milestone.  Everyone hates the DMV and now she'll never have to go back again.  But that just annoyed her, stating it was "just closer to dying!".  Instead, she wanted to stop at the gas station to cash in her lottery tickets.  I said no, I have a doctor's appointment, and we needed to get home.  She says "Oh?  Don't worry, you can go and leave me in the car."  I laughed and said I had to get something at home.  Well the whole time she's up my ass about me not being late.  Every time I walked back through my bedroom door to do something she kept saying "You're going to be late!!"  I just ignored her.  I know she was just trying to prove I was lying.  I was lying.  But I did leave and go to the resale shop, so that's kind of an appointment.  I had get there before it closed.  

I am going to take her tickets, cash them if I can, and when she asks for them, I will say "You know you're not allowed to have cash.  After what you did last time, remember?  I do not trust you anymore.  For any reason, whatsoever."  Just like she's not allowed to have my dogs in the kitchen with her while she eats dinner.  I have a kitchen camera and watched her literally SHOVEL food into their mouths two seconds after she told me "I would never do that!" after I said my dogs get sick on people food and aren't allowed to have any.  She did it twice, after I walked out and said not to do it, after I saw her do it, and she said "No, I'd never do that.  Don't worry."  Then picks up her fork FILLED with food and shovels it into both dogs' mouths, once again, mere seconds after I turned my back.  

I swear to god she has ZERO respect for me.  She just fears me.  Not that I'll get mad and scream, as I almost never do that, but that I will take away her privileges, like a child.  Well, at least she takes me seriously, right?  She does not love me, nor does she respect me at all, but she does take me seriously.  And that's all because I hold to my forever boundaries.  

Forever boundaries are boundaries I will keep with her FOREVER.  She's NEVER allowed in my bedroom.  She's NEVER allowed to go down the basement alone (she's a bad fall risk).  She's never allowed to have that assface twathead Brudiddly-uce over (he's in love with her--and angry that she lives with me and not him--he's toxic and awful).  She's NEVER allowed to hit me in the head (like she used to on a daily basis--to everyone in my household).  She's NEVER allowed to have my dogs with her while she eats and she's NEVER allowed to have cash.  There were more boundaries but they're no longer valid now, as she's outgrown them (like taking out the garbage, etc.).  If you read my past posts, you'll know why all of these are in place.  I've been writing since day one of all of this.  I keep track to remind myself (and others if need be) when I forget or if the details are fuzzy.  I write it all down so I always have access to my past without her trying to rewrite it, as she always does.  

So here is to Forever Boundaries: the boundaries we NEVER let up on, no matter what.  Because those, my friends, are the only way to keep the peace when living, or dealing with a narcissist.  Because once you let up for just a moment, they will see that and swoop right and try to take over your life again.  Go no contact if you can, but if you can't, then keep forever boundaries.  You, and you family, will be so much better off for it.  

I made friends with C back in 2014 or so, when I ran a women's group online.  I wasn't equipped to run that group.  I fucked up, royally.  I didn't know what I was doing.  Or how to do it properly.  Neither did the other women, but it was still my group and I wasn't good at it and I hurt some people.  Yes, I got hurt too, but what I did was worse.  When the group imploded, I left and decided to cut everyone off.  I had LOTS of online friends from that group but removed them all from my page because I knew that I wasn't good with groups of people.  And I really wasn't good at groups of feral women.  And we were oh-so-feral.  I even cut C off, but she was really hurt by this, so I put her back on my friendslist and we've been friends ever since.  As the years have gone by, our friendship has waxed and waned.  But the older I get (I coming up on 50 in a few years) the more I cherish our friendship the less I like our friendship to wane.  I didn't know why it was waning in the past, I just knew we both had busy lives and families and whatnot (she has a boyfriend a dog) and I figured it was just that.  Life.  Just as it was for me.  

Turns out, when our friendship was waning (meaning she contacted me less and less), it was because she was buddying up with another group member.  It's been over 10 years and she still keeps in contact with a HUGE lot of those women.  Which is fine, but what's not fine, is her lovebombing me to the point of thinking I am special to her and then her moving on to someone else in that group and then someone else, etc. and then eventually coming back to me later, lovebombing me all over again, as though no time has passed.  

She made me feel like I was an important part of her life.  She used to always tell me she loved me (like a sister) and how she wanted to be adopted into my family.  So much so, I was considering making a place for her in our new home.  I mean, she's been saying it for YEARS and so I thought that she wanted to escape her life and be with people who truly cared about her.  She loves my kids and my husband and my pets.  And I love her dog.  

This dog.  She makes me look at oodles and oodles of pictures of him a day and then tells me about all of his adventures.  I know more about this dog than I do most people's children.  I know his diet.  I know his friends.  I know most everything there is to know about him.  I am there to celebrate C's wins (like the time her boyfriend and her published a children's comic) and to be there for her losses (her IVF that didn't take, and her boyfriend leaving her a month later, etc.).  I am there for everything.  

But I sat back and thought about it.  When was she there for me?  She sent me one birthday message saying I was one of her closest friends last year.  But for most years, she just said "happy birthday".  And the messages I give her for her birthday she never reads.  I am going to do an in-person author signing of my book in a few weeks...she liked the post, but didn't say a fucking word about it.  She's never even asked to see my book or asked what it was about.  

C is my only friend.  And all the dreams I had of meeting her and hanging out and maybe one day her living in my dream commune are now gone.  Because I am pretty sure C is a fake.  Sure, she's a real person.  But she's not a real friend.  She's opportunistic.  She cycles through her friends and treats us all as though we're so freaking special to her, but never at the same time.  She showers us with compliments and tells us how amazing we are.  She always tells me she wishes she had me as a mom growing since I am such a great mom to my children.  But she also gave me compliments even when it didn't make sense to do so, which always struck me as weird.  She also wants me to be the cheering section for her wins, but she's hardly ever there for mine.  

So, today, I deleted everything I ever posted on her wall and I put her on restricted.  I am nobody's afterthought.  She always said she "never wanted to meet me because leaving me would be too hard".  As though it would break her or something.  Wow.  I can't believe I fell for that.  For real, I actually fell for that.  I honestly thought she cared about me that much that it would hurt her to say goodbye to me if we met.  God, I was so fucking stupid that I wanted to make space for her in my family's life so she wouldn't have to say goodbye.  What is so freaking wrong with me?

I know she's sensitive.  But I saw the signs and ignored them.  She used to have this cat, Alfons.  Back then, he was her life.  And she shared every moment of his life with me, the same way she does with her dog now.  I loved Alfons.  He felt like a part of my life, too.  But when Alfons died (rest his purry little soul), she erased him from her life.  All of his pictures were gone.  And she never spoke of him again.  And she went out and got her dog and he replaced Alfons in her life.  She did the same with her boyfriend.  They were together for YEARS and were planning on getting married.  She was going through IVF with him and now, after he dumped her, he just doesn't exist.  No old pictures.  No words about him or her healing from their breakup.  Nothing.  And she went out and bought a house to replace him with.  A HUGE house with fuck tons of land.  I don't even know why, it's just her and her dog, but that's what she does.  She cannot access her feelings and we all have to play pretend around her, even though these things affect the people around her, too.  When Alfons died, I was so very, very sad.  But I could not tell her that, because she had a dog in place of him and we weren't allowed to talk about her once beloved cat anymore.  

I am done with people like this.  I feel for her, I really do.  I know she's locking away her hurt and pain, but because of this, she can't access any feelings at all, unless she's in the moment with you.  If she's not in the moment with you, you, or whatever the situation is, doesn't exist.  She doesn't respond to me anymore (like before) and she doesn't care about anything that's going on in my life.  She's moved onto other people, like Janae, another girl from our group.  She's publicly telling her wonderful and beautiful she is, and how she adores her.  And I no longer exist to her.  I need REAL friends.  

But do those even exist?  

Sigh.  

I am so tired of friendships.   Being aware of red flags is fucking exhausting.  Because they're everywhere.  Why can't people just be fucking normal?  

Well, she's done it.  My husband had had enough of her shit and finally told her to stop.  

Okay, so my oldest son today was talking about how my mother's been putting her hands on him.  In like weirder and weirder ways.  And she's always done that to my husband.  I took my son and put him to our sink and said "This is what she does to Mr. Brooks" and proceeded to walk up behind him and place my hand on the small of his back.  He shuddered and said "God, that's rapey!  That's exactly what narcissists do, they put their hands on you without permission and keep doing it because they think they have a right to do so."  I said "I know, right??  She thinks she can touch whoever she likes, whenever she likes.  So only doesn't touch me because she tried to hit me in the back of the head several times, and I grabbed her arm forcefully and growled at her and said "DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME, OR ANYONE ELSE LIKE THIS AGAIN!"  She had a thing for smacking people in the back of the head.  And if you told her to stop, she'd ramp up her efforts and do it 2-3 more times, just to show you she can.  

Well, she's been hobbling her old ass in my son's room, without knocking, and I put a sign up on his door telling her to never enter without permission.  It was the last time she came into his room that she touched him on his shoulders in a weird way, which was when he had HIS final straw.  

So, I told my husband about it and said "Listen, I can tell her all day every day not to touch you guys, but you know she will not listen to me and she will think she can do it when I am not in the room.  YOU have to be the one to say something.  You need to say something like "Please don't touch me, I don't like that" or "AAAHHH!!" and scream and run away."  He agreed that next time he should say something.  I think I put it in perspective when I said "Listen, what if we were living with your crazy parents and your dad touched me like that?  Do you think I should let him do it?"  We both shuddered at that idea.  And I said it would be pervy and if that is pervy, then my mother doing it to him was pervy, too. 

So, a few hours later, after our conversation, she came up to us after eating and started rubbing on my husband's back in sensual way and WOULD NOT STOP.  I didn't know she was even doing it, as I was cooking.  So he said, quite forcefully I might add, "You need to stop that.  I DO NOT LIKE BEING TOUCHED."  I had to hold in my laughter.  She looked as though he had slapped her in the face! HAHHAHAHA!   She said "Oh, sorry" and walked off to her room without a word.  But the minute she turned the corner, I burst out silent laughing LOL  I couldn't help myself.  FINALLY!!  Someone stood up the old beast and she was put in her place with her inappropriate touching!!  My son will get to the point of breaking, too, but today, was just a good day for vindication.  Oh wait, I have one more post about yesterday.  I will post it tomorrow.  Another vindication.  And old wound was healed a little bit more.  Well, rehealed.  As it was something I had already done, but go to redo again.  

And like I said, tonight?  She gets three cigarettes from now on.  And I hope she does it without a fight.  

Mother did not get the Christmas she wanted or imagined, so she's punishing me by not obeying house rules...again.  We JUST had this issues a month ago, and now she's doing it again, because she's feeling saucy.  

So, this particular rule is called "The Compartmentalized Cat Rule" (I just named it that) and it states in the bylaws that two particular cats shall remain in the custody of my mother's room, at all times, except for special circumstances.  And those special circumstances are as follows:  

• Cat #1 (17 years old) has issues pissing on things.  She is NOT allowed outside of the room without my mother being there and letting her straight outside.  Then the cat comes back in and goes straight back to my mother's room, all under supervision.  My mother AGREED to this.  Verbally.  
• And Cat #2 (5 or 6 years old) is my dog's nemesis.  He used to literally chase my dog down and bite and scratch him, like a bully.  WELL, the cat got attacked by a coyote (or something around here) and hasn't left the house since.  Good thing, because that dumbass was always getting hurt and I told my mother that if he goes outside again, he will be gone.  Like, I will take him to the pound myself, as we cannot afford to keep taking his gigantic stupid damn ass to the vet.  Well, a coyote did it for us.  And now he won't leave.  And because of this, the cat's personality has changed from being a total bully to a docile doofus.  But the dog, who, at first, took the cat's shit but eventually learned to fight back, which then morphed into RAGE against the cat every tine he saw him.  Like, my dog would attack the cat.  So, the cat is only allowed to leave the room at night when my dog is sleeping, which he does, with the rest of her cats.  

Read that: her cats are allowed to leave her room, with her bedroom door open, in the middle of the early morning (as my mom gets up at 4 am every single day), so all the cats can come out and play.  My dog is sleeping, so it's fine.  We also know to look for the cats if he wants to go outside at that time of day.  

But today, Cat #1 (the 17 year old) is out in the kitchen, and my oldest son says to me "Hey, Cat #1 is out in the kitchen.  Hey, wait, Grandma's door is open!"  So he sent me in there to go shut it.  I took cat #1 (she's a total moose, btw LOL) and threw her (nicely) onto my mom's bed and said "Why on earth was she out here?  You KNOW she's not allowed out here unless you're letting her outside!  She pisses on the counter!"  Which my mother replies "She doesn't do that."  I said "Yes, she does!  You KNOW this!  You agreed to keep her in your room unless she's going outside!  Why is she out here??  And why is your door open??"  She replies "GOD!  Can't my cats do anything at all???"  

First of all, it's only TWO cats who aren't allowed out willy-nilly.  All the other cats (read: ALL SIX OTHER ONES) are allowed out whenever they like.  So, WTF is she even talking about?  Second, they were all already out this morning when I got up to pee (not on the counter).  So they were just FINE.  

Her reply?  "Where is Cat #2?"  I said "WHAT?!!! He's not allowed out here!  Did he leave your room??  (I am totally panicking now, as my dog is in the kitchen with me)  What are you thinking??  Ma, you realize my dog will attack him, right??  I am not punishing your cat, I am PROTECTING him!!  What's wrong with you??  You realize my dog will hurt him, right?"  She replies in a sing-song voice "I know."  My son said "Yeah, you know, and that's why you're a bad cat owner!  You don't care about your cats, you only care about pissing off mom, which is why you do this shit!!"  

Safe to say, my son was PISSED.  But I will say I do feel good he sees it.  That it's not just me saying she's doing this shit on purpose to make me angry, he sees it, too.  We ALL see it.  

Here's the thing: WE JUST DID THIS SAME EXACT SCENARIO EXACTLY ONE MONTH AGO!!  

This SAME thing JUST happened.  Her acting like she can do whatever she likes.  Last time I found Cat #2 crying at her door for like five minutes and I realized he was in the hallway and I let her have it.  Although this time he didn't get out.  

Want to know why she's acting out?  Because I didn't make Christmas dinner yesterday.  Instead, my ex-husband called me and told me they were making homemade pizza for dinner, so I copied him, because I was tired AF and didn't want ham.  So I made homemade pizza.  Which was damn good, btw (I make kickass pizza, but since I don't eat dairy or acidic food, I make my own version of pizza for myself which is really, really good, but normal pizza for everyone else).  But it wasn't ham and potatoes and green bean casserole.  So mother was complaining about it.  

Well guess what?  I have been looking for a good reason to knock her cigarettes down to 3 (I had her down to four before Thanksgiving) and now I have a good reason to.  I mean, she's on her way to quitting.  She doesn't agree she should, but I don't care, I DO NOT want to buy one more bag of tobacco.  I have about a third of a bag left and I want to get her to zero by the end of the bag.  But this is the right time to go down to three.  She's already cranky, so why not?  

So yes.  Mother is always up to her tricks.  She has so very tricks left, but this is one of them.  And lowering her "smokies" intake will piss her off even more.  Oh well.  HAPPY HOLIDAYS, Y'ALL!  WHOO HOO!  

Okay, so there's one more thing that happened today, but this is something totally different, so I will post that in the next post.  So feel free to read on, as this one is a doozy. 

  

via GIPHY

So, lately my mother has taken to just hanging out in my son's room without permission.  At first, he said nothing about it.  I figured if it bothered him, he would tell me.  But we now switched rooms and she's amped up her crossing his boundaries and now just enters his room without knocking or asking to go in.  He came to me and said "Help!" after she wandered in last night started rubbing his shoulders without asking if it was okay to do so.  So, I created this: 

And I just taped it to his door.  

She does NOT do this to our youngest son.  Only him.  She used to do this to me, but since I put up boundaries with her, she then decided my son would be her scapegoat instead.  And I I am putting an end to it before it goes any further.  

I used to have the same sign (or something very similar) on my door, and it stopped her from coming in.  So, I did not hesitate to put one up for him.  

I KNEW she was pushing me by pushing him, but I didn't want to say anything.  As long as he was okay with it, I figured it wasn't my place to step in.  He's an adult and much of the time, he doesn't want me to make decisions for him, so I don't.  But this time I told him, she won't quit.  It will only get worse and she will eventually enter your room when you aren't there, like she did me.  So he agreed, putting up a sign is best, as telling her verbally what you don't want her to do not only doesn't work, but she will do it more and more the more you tell her not to.  It's crazy!  

She always has to do something stupid around the holidays, right?  

On Saturday I took her Christmas shopping and she asked me "What size do you wear?"  I internally groaned.  "2X" I replied.  And just like I knew she would she said "OH MY GOD, you DO NOT wear clothes that big!  There is is no way!" right in the middle of the store.  Sigh.  I just walked away.  

Then today she said "Do you have more crackers?"  I said yes.  "Oh, I figured you were too busy to get me any and that maybe one day when you went shopping you'll finally get me some more.  It's okay.  It's okay you did that."  "Did what?"  "Not get me crackers before."  Sigh.  

She's obviously in a mood.  

"Are you making your wonderful lasagna for Christmas?"  "No, ma, I am making ham.  It's in the fridge.  It's been there all week."  "Oh.  Well, that's okay."  (thanks for letting me know that's okay LOL).  Sigh.  

I think her BFF Christmas (the person, not the holiday) is angry with me for not letting her come over on Friday.  But I was so pissed that she just showed up, so I knew she would be out and about with her other friend going shopping on Saturday, so I called her house at 1pm, on purpose, knowing she would not be home.  I did this so I could leave a message, canceling her coming over on Sunday (which I had felt pressured into inviting her to).  Why on earth did she think she has the right to come over whenever she pleases?  So, I cancelled on her, because no.  Just, no.  

God damn old women and their insane holiday behavior!  

Oh, my son literally just came in here and said "Grandma is being fucking WEIRD!!  She came into the kitchen while I was washing my plate and she kept touching me and putting her hands up my shirt!  It makes me feel weird!"  He HATES confrontation and also hates when I confront her on his behalf, because that puts him into the position to have to deal with her when she will eventually come to him and ask if what she did was so bad.  So I get it.  She makes everyone uncomfortable.  But this is just gross.  She touches my husband all the time, too.  I tell them both to say "Please don't do that."  But nobody will.  And I won't stand up to her for them, because it makes them feel weird, so I guess she's just gonna be all touchy until she takes it too far and they freak out on her.  But oh well, that's what she gets.  Damn that woman needs to learn to keep her hands to herself  Why are narcissists like this??  I HATE being touched by people I don't want to touch me, so there is no way I would tolerate that.  And guess what?  My mom knows this.  She doesn't touch me unless she's falling I am there to catch her.  But that's it.  

Well, we'll see how this holiday turns out.  I hope it's got minimal weirdness, but with my mom, you never know.  

Well, happy holidays, ya'll!  Hope yours is uneventful and fun!

So uh, my mom's BFF Christmas just came over without telling me she was doing so and got annoyed I would not let her in.  She was supposed to come over last week, but my house is PACKED with crap due to the fact my hubby and I traded rooms with our oldest son (the living room).  You couldn't even get to the front door!  Much less the kitchen.  But I told her my husband was sick (which he is).

So, I said later this week.  She called on Tuesday, I said he was still sick.  She said "Maybe Friday?"  I said I will let you know.  She called last night, I didn't see it until late.  She called his morning, I didn't answer, as I didn't want to deal with it.  We're still organizing everything and the kitchen is still packed with boxes.  There is ZERO room for her to visit.  And I didn't want to explain all that.  

NOR SHOULD I HAVE TO.  

This is MY house.  I live here.  I do not owe a single person an explanation for why they cannot visit.  Why it's not a good time.  Yes, my mother lives here, too, but I have things going on right now, I can't help that people cannot come over at the moment. 

But apparently she called and said she was coming over, something I told her a long time ago she was not allowed to do.  I told her she needs permission to visit, as I have a very aggressive dog (to strangers in his house, to us he's not aggressive to us at all and he is trying to like strangers outside of his house and doing quite well with it) and because I need to make sure it's clean.  Because, WTF.  Who doesn't want to clean up before someone stops by???  

Sigh.  

So, Christmas (not the holiday) was bored.  She's someone who always needs something to do, or else she gets anxious.  And she wanted something to do today, apparently, and thought that she could just disobey my house's rules, and just pop over for a visit with my mom.  Here are the reasons why that's not allowed: 

1. My house is not always put together.  a) Right now I have a HUGE burn pile built up in the kitchen (we burn our paper and cardboard), b) our dishes aren't done, c) the floor needs a good mopping, and d) THERE ARE FOUR HUGE PLASTIC BINS FILLED WITH STUFF BLOCKING EVERYTHING.  Some of those bins are for our garage sale, but most are to figure out where they need to go.  I am in the process of organizing and cleaning, I do not need someone, esp. a judgmental asshole who hates messy spaces, coming over and seeing my mess.  And yes, she's a judgmental asshole, as she's bitched to me before about having to clean her friend's fridge (she was paid to do it), and she kept talking about how "horribly disgusting it was".  I was like, "Why would she need you clean it if it was clean already???!!"  What an idiot.  
2. I have a mean dog.  He's actually pretty lovely and lovey and kind and sweet and adorable.  But he HATES strangers at his house.  He will BITE them.  Enough said.  She sat there today, saying "I won't catch what your husband has, I can just come through!" while my dog was going NUTS at the door, trying to break it down.  I was standing there like "Can you not see how stressful this is for me?  Cannot you not hear the rage in my dog's barks?  Do you want to come in and have him bite you??"  I need to either remove him from my house when she comes over or crate him.  Recently, my son has been taking him out on a leash when she comes over to get him used to her.  I hate it, but it seems to be working.  
3. I don't have a doorbell that works, I can't hear her knocking.  Today, though, she called my mom's number, which made me run to the door to answer it, because otherwise my mom would try to come out into my room to let her him, even though there is ZERO room for her to, and my mom is not allowed in my room. 
4. IT'S JUST FUCKING RUDE IF I ALREADY TOLD HER NOT TO DO IT!!  And I did tell her not to do it, more than once.  And she agreed.  Now the crazy woman has a cell phone, so she can call the moment she's on the porch and if I don't answer, she will call our house phone, which rings my mom's room.  Next time I will turn off the internet so the phones won't work LOL