Today a little baby fell from his high nest in our tree.  He was a baby squirrel.

We tried our damnedest to save him, too.  We put him in a box with snuggly cloth napkins, put a hot water bottle in there to keep him warm, bought and fed him pedialyte, and then eventually bought him a cage and some formula.  But on our way home, our squiggly little active squirrel baby crawled onto his hot water bottle and gently passed away.  There was no indication of internal bleeding, but alas, that was what took his life.


Its horribly, sad, as I remember as a child finding abandoned or attacked baby wildlife, and my mother would tell me "Oh god, just go put it back.  Its just a stupid animal!" 

Now as an adult, I don't have to listen to her selfish words anymore.  I can fulfill my need to take care of those who are helpless to do so themselves, and in turn nurture my children's need for the same.  I can be the mother I never had. 

But today we still lost him.  All our work was not just in vain though as we gave him more than his squirrely family would have in his last hours, as he did not die 1) thirsty, 2) cold, and 3) alone.  I fed him with a dropper, held him, and his water bottle kept him warm.  When we left to go buy him a cage and some formula, I knew we should not leave him alone.  And alas, he passed away in my son's lap in his box. 

He knew he was loved by those who he'd not normally interact with.  I hope we eased his fear a bit, and made him comfortable during those last little moments. 

He wasn't "just a squirrel".  He was Mr. Squeakers.  He was our little guy for a few hours.  We banded together as a family to try to save him.  We had dreams for raising him, and how it would all work.  He was, and still is, important to us.  And now we're planning his funeral. 

But I don't have to listen to that horrid voice of assholeyness telling me "Get that stupid thing out of here!!"  Never once did she help me.  Not once.  She was heartless most of the time.  And still is. 

Unless it benefits her in some way.  

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UPDATE: Yes, I did talk to her after she sent that letter, I called her on that Friday to tell her "When you're ready to speak the truth, call me".  Instead she waited a week and called to ask about my old cat and for us to come pick up a chair.  So we picked up it, and all she did was ANNOY ME with acting like her old self, not wanting to listen to me at all.  So that was the last we spoke.  I have no need or want to call her. 

I was ready to go back and ignore it all.  But after seeing her and it didn't take 5 minutes to piss me off, I remembered why I can't stand being around her. 

One day at a time, right?