"Every single action employed by the Narcissist stems from a pathological need to control others.  In order to prove your love to a Narcissist, you must surrender all power and control over to him.  In short, you must become a real-life Marionette whose only purpose is to enhance the Narcissist’s false image, take care of him like a newborn baby, and accept his self-serving abuse."

I got this from a website today and it made me remember exactly my mother's motivations at all times.

My mother has been insanely nice to me for months.  Like, kissing-my-ass nice.  I walk into the room, I am some kind of rock star.  I let myself get fooled into thinking that "well, she's going through a nice period, I'll just ride this out".  And then we almost made the biggest mistake of our lives because of it: we almost moved into her apartment building (a two story flat) to help take care of her.

Then the other day she went on about Marilyn, her BFF's mother, about how much she could not stand her.  "She sat there and LET her husband abuse her daughter.  What kind of mother does that?"

Did she forget I brought this up last summer?  No.  She was testing me.  She went on and on about it.  I just sat there, thinking "What he crap do I say??"  I was stunned...she was back to her old tricks.  *sigh*  I knew it wouldn't last.  She was testing my loyalty to her.   She wanted to see if I would back down, or remind her.  I was moving in.  So she had to be sure.  If I were to fail her test, she would have called the landlord to tell him all sorts of lies about me.  I mean, last summer she tried to get me fined and arrested, so this is a woman capable of anything.

And it was at the moment, I knew I could not live with her.  Well, until one day when she CAN'T take care of herself.  But until then, I am staying put (as long as we can sign another lease LOL). 

Then she told my kids they could not carry drinks around upstairs, even when we live there.  Even water, cause that will "mold the carpet" if spilled.  Then she tried to embarrass my son in front of her friends because he was running the stairs and pounded on the stairs.  It was just a mess.  Today she called and wanted her car at 8:30 am.  I said "I take my meds at 9."  "Bring them with you."  "I can't, I give me and my son meds at the same time.  Then I have to eat, otherwise I get low blood sugar.  And I can't eat till a half an hour to an hour after I take my meds".  She wasn't happy, but damn if I will change my fucking medication to suit her silly "time restraints". 

Now that my uncle is gone, she says "I am not on ANY time schedule!  I can do what I want!!"  But apparently that doesn't apply to others who need to be on whatever time schedule she makes up in her head. 

So "a woman capable of anything" is the mantra I have to remember.  Her bright and cheery side.....is all just an act, as long as I don't step out of line.  Because if I do, she is capable of ANYTHING.  EVERY single action has a motive.  Its so easy to forget that when they are nice.  They lure you into a false sense of security.  "She is being the mom I want".  So when we're betrayed, we are blindsided so hard, its like a real slap in the face.  And sometimes it actually is.

8 years ago in May she did just that.  Took me by surprise, too.  Sure, she was drunk, but still. 

Well, yes, so this is a HUGE thing, for use to catch ourselves before we made the biggest mistake of our lives.  I am so thankful her NPD side showed itself again, to remind me of the hell that we'd experience while living there.