*sigh*

It's not like it's bad enough to have a narc mother, but I gotta have narc mother-in-laws, too.  (I use the plural because my ex's mother was also a narc).

And it's not just me who has to deal with it, it's my poor hubby.  Though she likes to get her supply from me now, not him.  But at the same time, HE is the one dealing with his mother treating his wife badly.  That's a horrible place to put your child.  Even if I hate my future daughters-in-law, I really hope I keep my mouth shut about it.  I just hope my kids make good choices in their spouses! haha

But as for my mother-in-law, today she decided to try to goad me into a fight about religion, knowing that last time I had been at her house, I said I was an atheist.  Today she said "I believe there is SOMETHING.  I mean, you'd have to be pretty imaginative to believe in NOTHING."  And she repeated herself over and over, trying to irk me LOL 

Didn't work.  I always bring knitting over when I visit, so I just sat there and knitted and ignored her completely, while my hubby debated with her (who is also atheist, too).  But she just kept saying it over and over again, seeing if I would take the bait, which I never did.

Then she said "I believe a Christmas tree should evolve with your family.  I don't get those people who decorate it every year with a new 'theme'". 

I looked right at her said "That's what we do" and went back to knitting LOL  *sigh*  Keep trying to incite me to argue with you, it's not working, lady! haha 


Two Christmases ago she waited until everyone left the room except me and my son and said "Aren't you cold with your hair that short?"  I replied "I have a hat."  She then said "Well, it's a little boy's haircut."  I said "It's dirty right now, and looks stupid."  She said, again, "It's a little boys' haircut.  I mean, it's not horrible, but it's for little boys." 

Says the woman who who has the haircut of the little Dutch Boy.

So that rude conversation led to use not seeing them or talking to them (because his father defended her and said "If your wife doesn't want people saying shit about her hair, maybe she should stop cutting it so short" and other things were said by both of them, but never once an apology) for many months on end.  We've only recently begun to see them with any regularity (and that's even saying a lot). 

But the point is: I don't care anymore.  If she wants to try to get me to argue with her, it won't work.  If she wants to be rude to me, so be it.  I've always been NOTHING BUT NICE to her, always. 

She's always had an issue with me, but now I know it's not me.  When I found out my mom was a narc, my hubby realized his mom was one too (a while later).  Both his mom and dad come from narc families, too.   TWO years in a row, his mother didn't call him on his birthday.  Actually, I don't know if she called this year, either...hmmmm... I will have to find out.  The first year she was angry.  The second year was for no reason.  They have never, not once, come to any holiday we've invited them to.  They've only stepped foot in any house we've ever been in a whole accumulation of like 4 times and no more than 5 minutes.  They used to invite my husband for holidays and not me.  Just a whole SLEW of bullshit.  We remedied that years ago, when he found out his mom was a narc, by stopping going to their house for holidays, forever.  That way, nobody is butthurt about it.  "Oh you came but you didn't stay long enough!"  "Oh you were supposed to be here hours ago!" (which was never true, she just made this up several times so she could be mad at us)  "Oh you blah blah blah blah"......it was ALWAYS something with them.  Once, his father told him "If you won't come over, forget you are my son." 

And that, my friend, was the straw that broke the camel's back.  That was when it all ended.  My hubby went through a huge crisis over that, it made him physically ill.  But it was so worth it, and now he's happier, healthier, and doesn't give two shits at all what they have to say if they are mad (which doesn't happen anymore, because we are low-contact with them). 


Do they still talk shit about us?  I am sure of it.  But we don't hear a word of it.  And that's the way we like it.  So if my MIL wants to bait me into arguments? I won't give her the satisfaction.  If she's rude to me?  I won't say a word.  I won't let her know I even cared what she said.  Not for a moment.  Because I refuse to give her narcissistic supply anymore.  I won't be her target, even if she tries to make me one. 

I have enough to think about my life.  I don't need to add her drama on top of my happiness.  She can't help her illness and my hubby sees her for what she is.  And that's all that matters.  We can't be hurt by what we don't care about being hurt by.  We care about her, as a person, but not her opinion.  Because there is no place in this universe where her opinion matters, other than in her own mind. 


And let it stay there!  LOL