Today is Tuesday and I hadn't talked to my mother since Christmas eve on Thursday.  Yesterday, I started feeling bad, like I was ignoring her.  But then I figuratively gave myself a slap in the face and said "WAKE UP!"  She ALSO hasn't called me, either.  So why do I feel guilty?

And sure as heck, she called today "Omg I thought you moved!  I haven't heard from you in so long!"

And THAT ladies and gents, is why I feel guilty when I don't call her for days.  Because shes says the SAME thing every single time.  Did I mention we live a block away from each other? LOL  So yeah, this time?  I was prepared.

Mom: OMG I thought you moved! I haven't heard from you in so long!

Me: Yeah, I thought the ice storm froze your house and then the wind swept it away!  I haven't heard from you since Thursday!

Mom: (Oh, she doesn't like I started playing her guilt game back to her, so she had to up the ante)  Yeah, well I thought you died!

Me: I know right? I totally thought someone poured water on you and you melted! (Just kidding! I didn't say this, but I wish I had!  LMAO  But I guarantee you, I WILL say this now that I've thought of it! haha)  What I really said was "I know, right?  I thought you decided to leave the country!"

I was not going to give up until she relented LOL  And it worked :)  She started talking about her cats and asking me what I did on Christmas day instead.  I complained about my inlaws to her (nothing big, just silly little stuff, like how my MIL opened up the gifts I bought her and she never said Thank You one time--which is better than being her normal rude self).

So there ya go.  I finally realized why that pang of guilt hit me on Monday, and then I figured out how to deal with it.  I have found out, that if you play out scenarios in your mind before they happen, you'll know exactly what to say when they do happen, and you won't be caught by surprise either.  So today, I knew exactly what to say to her when she pulled her guilt trip on me.

And now that I know what causes these feelings in me, I can combat them by reminding myself she doesn't call me either.  I think the next time she says that, and every single time thereafter, I will say exactly that, no more games: "Well, you have a phone, you can call me."  And then BAM!  Change the subject!! LOL  That should nip it in the bud.  If not, well, what can she say to that?  She can try to make something else to make me feel bad for, then I can respond with "Why do you want me to feel bad when you didn't call me either?  Let's change the subject."  Sometimes the direct approach is the only way to deal with these children. 

And let's hope this also alleviates that guilt I periodically feel, as well, now that I know what's causing it.