So I talked with my mother's neurologist and found out that more than likely my mom's condition is caused by Parkinson's and dementia and not from what my mom hoped it was.

Recently, she's started taking vitamin B12 shots because she was supposedly low.  My mom was under the impression if she took these shots, she'd get back up to where she'd need to be and would live happily ever after.  A vitamin B12 deficiency can cause almost everything Parkinson's can cause, and if not caught in time, the issues are irreversible.  Well, she's had issues for over three years, so I'd say that's quite a long time to have it be curable.

I have no idea if the nurse who called to schedule the appointments told her this could happen or if she hurried up and googled this and came to that conclusion herself.

So I checked her lab results and found she was in the normal range of everything she was tested for and called her neurologist to see why she's getting the shots at all.  Turns out, she's in the low range of normal, so she while she still needs the shots, she's technically not low, and definitely not low enough to have such huge side effects as what's going on with her body.

So, now I have to be the one to tell her that she can't be cured.  Yay.

I know my mom had her hopes up.  Despite her being a mean person at times, that doesn't negate the fact she's a human being with feelings and now she's going to have to accept her original diagnosis all over again.  *sigh*

Life isn't fair sometimes.

And now she's freaking out about her car and about having to pay for it while she can't drive (her neurologist informed me that she should NOT be driving, ever), and now we're going to have to find out what we need to do about that.  Because we all agree (our mutual friend and my hubby and myself) that she WILL call the police on us eventually for not giving her car back to her when she wants it (equally due to her delusions and narcissistic rage....even though can't drive, but is also getting her license taken away--UPDATE 2021: she never had her license taken away, not properly, not yet).  I think we need to buy a used car to drive her around all her millions of appointments and give her car back to the dealership.  That way we can stop any future issues before they even start.  *sigh*

Now, while I know my mom has been terrible at times, I can't imagine it feels good to be losing everything--the ability to drive, the ability to walk, the ability to hear, to ability to actually live...

It has to be one of the scariest things you can go through.  But, I will say, while it's scary, yes, my dad found out he had cancer and 6 weeks later he was dead.  The same exact thing happened to our mutual friend's sister just a week ago.  So, while it's scary, there is perspective to be had: at least this is a slower process.  And while it is a death sentence, you have years rather than weeks.  But it's still a horrible thing to go through.  I can't even imagine (and never want to have to) what it's like to go through something like this.  It's so horribly sad to think about.

My compassion will not blind me to the truth of what and who she really is.  But it does give me a place to come from with every single one of my actions with her and my judgments.  I don't have to be as bothered by the things she says or what she does, when I know at times, it will come from a place of an extreme fear of mortality, rather than "just being a jerk".  Though, she'll still be that at times, too LOL

I just hope nothing gets too crazy and we can all journey together on this path with no really big issues.  I would rather spend the last amount of time with my mother that she has left in a calm atmosphere rather than a chaotic one.  It would be better for her, as well.  But only time will tell what will come.  And there's nothing I can do about it.