Healing From Her: June 2016

The more I think about what my mother did, the angrier I get. Did she not think about the repercussions to everyone in her life if she did this? Granted, I know narcs don't care about long term things. They don't think about the future, only the here and now. But....I am just flabbergasted she thought she could get away with this for the rest of her life and not get caught. Granted, I honestly believe she did forget, but at the same time, she knew exactly what she was doing to begin with.

And today, my family and I were discussing it and we came to realize something: if she goes broke trying to pay back all this money she kept, she will EXPECT us to help her. But the thing is, when we were going through really hard times back when I started this blog, she got angry with me and left us to rot for however many months. She never called to ask if were doing okay or if we needed any food. Little did she know, we were standing in line at the food pantries every single day just so we could eat. We were so bad off, I had to even call a friend I barely knew to take me and my kids to the food pantry to go get food...it was so embarrassing, and she never really spoke to us again (though she was an old friend from childhood, so while we'd known each other since we were 13, we hadn't been really close most of that time).

So this has made up my mind, she doesn't deserve our help even if we could help her (which we can't). And I don't feel bad about it. YES, my mom has helped me since then....but, only because I am on her good side, pretending everything is okay and allowing her to be bitchy or make snide comments to us, all the while I ignore it. If I were to speak my mind only one time? I'd probably be on her shit list.

So yeah. She can rot wherever she ends up. I am not her, and I don't like to act like her, but I only sometimes act like her to HER, and nobody else. Because while I want to rise above her, I don't think she deserves it in order for me to put my family in the way of her abusing us again. Right now we have distance, but if she lived with us??? Good god, save us all.

I just won't do it. I refuse. And after thinking about all the shit she's put my family and I through? I realize, I don't honestly feel bad about it.

So, I haven't been updating lately, because she's been pretty good overall....only because she only has me to rely on. So she has to kiss my ass in order to keep herself on my good side so I don't give up on her. Which I won't, but still. Let her think what she wants.

But, pardon my language: oh holy fuck.

Well.....she went and did it now. She did something so illegal that now she might be facing prison time. Oops.

I am beside myself. There are so many issues that are going on right now, prison seems to be the least of the issues (at least in federal prison she'll get healthcare and three meals a day--until her dementia gets bad enough that they'd let her out).

This is what happens when you claim people are living with you that aren't and you receive probably $75,000 too much.....OOPS. And the thing is....in the beginning, she KNEW this was happening, she blatantly knew she was deceiving people, but them promptly forgot about it. She was just waiting for them to catch it...and now, by the time they did? She's in it so deep she may get prison time for it.

OR she'll be broke and she'll think she can live with me, and I'll have to tell her she can't, she'll have to go into assisted living. I'll be DAMNED if she'll live in my house. OH and she STUPIDLY bought a new car over year ago, without telling anyone, and now we'll be the ones stuck paying for it?? HA! She can't drive, so I drive her car, now I'll have to give the car back to the dealership because I can't afford that $250 payment plus insurance and then we'll be out a car to take her anywhere at all. Did I mention she has SIX CATS???? I can't take them in my house!! They are outdoor cats and I live on a busy street!

*sigh* One thing they may do to her is put her on house arrest. Which is a good thing, but she does have doctor appointments she needs to get to, so we'll see how that will even work.

In other news: my mom's health is going crazy. Her heart isn't working right and she's on a heart monitor now, and after that she'll have an echo and from there we'll see.

So, for now, I will just be sitting here GOING NUTS waiting to see what's going to happen next.

ARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!

UPDATE 2021: Nothing happened. She just gets less payments. That's all. Like literally nothing. I overreacted, I think because I kind of hope prison would be on the table for her LOL But alas, nope. Though I may have to get the VA to cut her payments even more for her to qualify for a government assisted home eventually, as the state will not pay for one if you make too much money.

Mother had to got to the ER a few nights ago. Her legs were swollen rock hard. And then to find out, her heart would dip down into the 30's every few minutes. So we went to her doc the next day and found out it's most likely due to her meds. She went off them, so we'll see in a week if it all goes away.

UPDATE: Nope, she needed a pacemaker.

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