So I have two teenage sons and she loves my youngest, but is constantly annoyed with my oldest.  No matter what he does, she's snapping at him, yelling at him, and just being all around mean to him.

Today we had to take her shopping.  It's a very hot day and we have no a/c in the car, so it's sticky, humid, and irritating.  So taking her today was not my idea of fun.

First off, she called me yesterday to take her shopping today.  I didn't answer the phone because I was busy, and I knew she wanted to ask me something, so I just put off calling her back.  She called back later in the afternoon, and she said "You never called me back." I said "Oh, you called? I didn't notice."  She said "Oh well, you never call me back, blah blah blah blah blah" in her sing-song voice, where she's pretending to be childish, but instead is really bitching.  I was so annoyed.  "Yes, what did you need?"  Then she asked me to go today, I said yes, and hurried her off the phone before she could ask to go early in the a.m. (she used to ALWAYS try to manipulate me to go as early as possible, but then she just stopped and accepted that we go places at eleven, period...now she's back to asking to go early again..arrgghh).

Everything was fine and dandy, but then she calls me at 8:30 am this morning.  I was awake, but I texted my husband "Oh hell no, she thinks we're going THIS early?"  It's not the fact she asks....that's not it.  I am fine with her asking to go early, what I am NOT fine with is when I say no (I always say no), she gets all pissy and bitchy and condescending and rude and I am not going to play that game with her.  I refuse to let her treat me like that.  She gets up at 5am, I get up at 8:30.  I am NOT leaving the damn house the moment I get up because

• a) I am effing tired (I have RLS so I sometimes can be exhausted when I wake up),
• b) I need to take my meds, 
• c) I take my meds and have to wait an hour to eat, 
• d) I need to eat breakfast because if I don't, she will drag me around ALL damn day with no food in my stomach and I have hypoglycemia and she bitches if anyone says they are hungry while we are out and about and 
• e) I am the one who is doing the driving, she will go when I say so, not the other way around because of issues a-d above.  

She HATES not being in control when she's in her moods (meaning when she cycles into her state of "persistent crab-ass").  When she's in UBER DUBER BOOBER mode (meaning when she's manic), she's fine with everyone doing whatever (you've probably read some of my other blogs talking about her odd behavior towards me when she's on a high mood....like getting all her friends to clap when I came into the kitchen from outside...it was so, so strange.....).
So, today I see she's reverting from UBER DUBER BOOBER mode back to her old crotchety-ass self.  Yay.  Yay for everyone.  Fuck.  I was hoping that manic high would stay forever, because it's been a REALLY long stretch this time.  Damn.

So today, with her crabby self, she was yelling (like how you'd yell at a dog when you catch them doing something wrong to stop them?) at us when she wanted our attention.  I dropped a bunch of catfood cans outside and went to go retrieve them and she screamed "BAH!!" or some other odd nose to get my attention to tell me to take something out to the car with me (instead of saying "Hey, can you should take this with you"), which I just kept on walking, cursing her as I did.  I have SPD (sensory processing disorder) and you don't scream vowel noises (or any other startling noises) at people who have it! LOL  My system can't handle that shit! haha  Uggghh....

She did the same noise when we pulled up, but 10x louder and scared both me and my son (who also has SPD) because her neighbor was outside in her backyard walking home because we weren't there.  She wanted her attention she screamed that noise really REALLY loudly hahaha!  WTF???  Good god, is that her new thing now??  I hope she doesn't start doing that in public! LOL

*sigh*  So yeah, had my younger son went with us today, it would had been fine and she would had been nicer.  BUT my older son has diarrhea of the mouth when he's with me without his brother (if is brother is there, they talk to each other) and he takes up all my attention (which is fine by me, I love talking to my kids).  She doesn't like that.  Mother has to be the center of attention, always. 

She also loves to tell him what to do when he drives, but then again, she does that to me and my husband as well LOL

Mother: "Turn here.  TURN HERE!"
Dax: "I KNOW, GRANDMA!!  STOP YELLING AT ME!"
Mother: "Oh, well, I am sorry, I just thought you didn't know" *condescending tone*
Dax: "I've been this way a THOUSAND TIMES, how would I not know how to get out of a freaking parking lot???"

Then he and I giggle at her and she shuts the eff up.  LOL



Then she's quiet the whole ride home and acts huffy about everything.  THEN in a snap, she acts normal again.  It's so very odd.  And annoying.  And completely insane. 

When my youngest goes with us?  He's very introverted and quiet and does whatever granny says without saying a word.  She LOVES that so much.  And she offers to buy him things all the time, and hugs him, and says thank you directly to him (when it's Dax and me, she says "thank you guys!" to both of us while we're leaving).  My youngest is showed that his grandma loves him.  Kind words.  Hugs, etc.  Whereas Dax knows he's not loved, he's just tolerated by her.  It's so sad to me, but Dax understands why.

There is a price you pay for not taking your mother's (or grandmother's) shit.  You are the scapegoat.  If you are quiet and ignore her crazy, you are the golden child.  Simple as that.  Dax and I don't take her shit.  I take it more than he does, but still...my husband is her golden child, not me (even though I am an only child). This conversation proves it and it's probably happened at least 10 times with various people:

Any random stranger or friend my mom is talking to: *I walk into the room* "Oh, I hear your husband is a writer!!"
Me: "Yes, he is.  He and I both have the same amount of books published, but he's a writer, yes."
Stranger/Friend:  "Oh, you're a writer, too?  Your mom didn't mention that." 
Me: *thinks* Of course she didn't.  "She has a bad memory, she's (while making a silly facial expression) getting up there and can't remember things like she used to." *giggle*  "Right ma?"
Mother: "Ha. Ha.  You make fun of me but at least I know your name!"  *laughs*  "Where am I?  Who are you people?"
We all laugh and forget that my mom has no intention, ever, of bragging about me to others, only about my husband.

I am the type of person who lightens a mood.  If you're rude to me? I will make you laugh.  I will also make the entire room laugh.  At you.  But you're laughing too, to make up for the fact that everyone now knows you're being rude to me, but we're laughing together, so it doesn't matter anymore.  The mood is lightened and not awkward anymore.  I don't need to act like a pouty baby when someone doesn't acknowledge me or is acting like a jerk to me.  I will just make a joke out of it and move on.  Because me looking like a baby about their bad behavior isn't worth it.  AND we all know damn well if you defend yourself in front of a narc, they will make it out to be "I didn't mean anything by it....you're just being so sensitive!"  So instead, turn their idiotic game into a game right back at them.  Turn them into the joke, instead of you.

It works every single time.



Well, off to go clean my house.  And decompress from all that joyful fun of having go shopping with mother.  LOL  *sigh*  Why can't shopping just be shopping?  Because it's with a narc, that's why.  And nothing is simple when they are involved.