They tend to want to stir shit up.  That's the only explanation I can give for what I found today.  I have access to her email, only because a) I have to check her medical results and she gets them there, b) I have to keep an eye on what she tells other people (she hardly ever writes emails, but when she does, I need to know what she's saying...sounds stalkery, but she tends to write to people and lie to them about her health or about me, so when they come calling, I am not surprised by it), and c) I need to keep on top of her spending, she tends to run off and buy crazy shit when she's manic and the receipts always come to her email as she can only shop online.

So, to start with, I've been keeping abreast of a different situation that I brought up to her recently: this past summer, my family were going to go spread my uncle's ashes in a lake (fucking gross!) and they invited my mother (not me).  My mom kept telling them she can't go because I won't go, and I said "Have them take you!"  She said no and would proceed to guilt trip me one second about her not being able to be there and the next second tells me "those people can go to hell because they ruined his funeral!" (which they did).  So, I told her to ask her sister if she ever came down to do this, as it's only an hour away from our house.  A FIVE HOUR drive, only to not come the rest of the way to see her sister, who has dementia and probably won't remember her by the time she ever comes down (which is what she did with her brother, so I can see she doesn't actually give two shits about my mother--oh well).  So, I saw she wrote to her sister, and my aunt wrote back and said yes, indeed, she did come down.  My mom hasn't told me about it yet, and it's been a week, so either a) she's pissed at her and doesn't want to talk about it or b) she doesn't want me to make a big stink about it (which I did, at the time, but now I won't because I don't give a flying rat's ass).  Oh well, but at least I know if she came down or not.  And that proves I was right about my aunt all along: she's a selfish bitch.  BUT then again, they all are, so why I am surprised?  Really, I'm not.

So, today I open her email, to see if my mother wrote back to her (Perhaps something nasty?  Or something sucking up to her?  You never know with mother or what her moods will bring).  And instead, I see this message written to her dead husband's old BFF.

"I hope I got the right (insert name here).  I have got my head on a LITTLE straighter....if you want to call or email me, I promise to respond.  I think of you all often, my number is (insert number here)".  

Um, so yeah.  She hasn't talked to this guy in FIVE years.  The last time she said that about "getting her head on straighter" she was writing a letter on paper to her dead husband's daughter, bashing me and telling her "when she stopped messing with you, she came after me".  Meaning, that I was somehow fucking with people.  Um, no, his daughter was married to an abusive prick and I called my step-sister out on it.  That's it.  That's what REAL friends do for one another, you don't sit there and let them be abused.  And the whole "she came after me" was the whole falling out that started this blog, which BTW, was started by MY MOTHER (and she has no idea it even exists).  Granted, I started it by blogging about MY abuse in my home growing up under a fake name, but, is that really starting anything?  To a narcissist it is.

So here a few things you need to know about this situation: a) the person she's writing to HATES her (yet she doesn't know it) because he heard first hand from Goose, her dead husband.  Goose's daughters told their mother about the mental and verbal abuse they suffered in my mother's home from her.  And b) the "you all" in her letter are a group of NA friends that Goose had, that all AGAIN, hate my mother.

So, my first instinct is that my mother's trying to stir the pot for NO reason.  Yes, she's back in her crabby stage, but we aren't fighting or getting mad or anything right now.  But, then again, we weren't fighting when she tried to writing that note to my ex-stepsister (I call her "ex", because her father is dead, and we aren't fucking related by marriage anymore).  I still have it, that letter, which sounds dumb, but sometimes I need to reminded of her wicked behavior.  So now, we have this letter she wrote today.  I HOPE he writes back and does NOT call her (turns out, he didn't do either).  I really want to know what she's going to say to him...I want to see if she portrays herself as a victim of some made up situation.  Though I am sure it would be all about what went down between Goose's old friends, Goose's ex-girlfriend and their children.  I am not sure if I ever posted the whole story here about this, but I will give you a rundown:

1. I became friends with Trix through a support group for stay at home mothers.  Her boyfriend Goose (father of her two children) was a grumpy asshole.
2. My great-aunt died and her house was up for sale.  So Trix and Goose bought the house.  It was right next door to my meemaw's and peepaw's old house, and my mother lived there when Goose moved in.
3. Goose had surgery on his arm, and Trix left him while he was recuperating in the hospital.  Goose came home and tried to commit suicide.
4. Goose's friend found him, and took him to the ER.  He got on the right meds, got out and was the happiest man alive.  Long gone was the grumpy asshole I always knew him to be (and I knew him for many years). 
5. So with Trix gone, and Goose on the right meds, he decided he was in love with my mother.  They started dating.  Goose's kids were my kids' ages. 
6. As it turns out, Trix left him because she was back on drugs and had become a Craigslist hooker.  She lived in her own apartment and Goose had the kids on certain days.
7. Goose then moved into my mom's apartment and sold my Aunt Lutefisk's old house.
8. With him having partial custody, the kids would now be visiting my mother's house.  The more the kids came over, the more grumpy my mom got.  She didn't like sharing Goose with anyone.  And I mean ANYONE.  She was not even spending time with me or my kids anymore, and she bitched every single time we came over.  
9. Goose became more and more distant with my mothers horrible behavior, eventually reverting back to the grumpy asshole he was when he was with Trix.  Then he found out that he had cancer.
10. Then Trix abandoned her children with a friend, and Goose found out and went to the court.  Trix lost custody of their kids due to being a drug addict.  Mother and Goose got custody.
11. Goose's cancer got worse, so they kids stayed with me most days while Goose spent more time at an out of town hospital. 
12. Mother became very verbally abusive to the girls, and would force them to sit in a corner for hours on end.  The oldest girl caught her verbal abuse on video, by turning on a webcam without her knowing.  Though I didn't find this until much later, after the girls went back to live with their mom.  
13. Goose died and Trix got them back, even though she tested positive for opiates.  And I am not talking prescription drugs here.
14. The girls hate my mother and have nothing to do with me at all.  Like, me, my husband, and our kids were just erased from their lives for no reason.  The kids had attachment issues: whomever gave them what they wanted, won.  So, before they left, the oldest girl wrote death threats on her bedroom wall dedicated to my mother (written in yellow highligher on a yellow wall, that I could only see when I held a blacklight up to it--something that happened by accident).
15. When my mother lost custody, she purposefully didn't tell Trix about some of the money she was getting from the VA for them (something I had no idea what she was talking about until the VA came after her for it).  So, she's been getting that money for SIX YEARS and now she's been caught.  
16. I hope my mom goes to prison for it, because she did it on purpose just to be a bitch to their mother.  She never did, but she did lose more money because she has to pay the government back.

Wow, I got the story out in less than 20 steps! Whoo hoo!  Very complicated situation.  One thing being that she LOVES to tell the story of how "her and the girls got along so well and she misses them so much" (when in reality she HATES them and they HATE her) and she is such a victim because Trix won't let her see them.  Waaaahhhh!  Pffft.  Such bullshit.

I will add a couple more things: my ex-stepsister is a total asshole and hates my mother now.  How she showed she hated her was pretty fucking low, but if it was me who had done it?  I would have been proud of myself for what happened, so I kind of can't blame her.  But then again, I would had never had done something like that.  I think Sara (ex-stepsister) is a LOT like me in a way: she's me before I figured out my mom was a narc.  I was so far stuck up my mother's ass I did anything she said.  So, that situation?  Was her mother telling her to do what she did.  So in a way, I don't blame her.  Goose was always either married to narcs or dating them.  His codependency (even with drugs) knew no bounds.  And I feel we kind of deserved it, as my mother had me take down Goose's memorialized Facebook page after he died.  It hurt Sara a lot, and I knew I should not have listened to my mother, though at the time, I was angry and it felt justified.  My  mother sure knew how to pull my strings and I always let her.  So if I could tell Sara I was sorry, I would.  I would never have taken his page down and I would have never listened to a damn thing my mother ever told me to do.  I am not sure if I posted about this entire situation with Sara or not, but I do know I wrote about it in one of my memoirs!  


So this guy she emailed was their best man at the their wedding (I was the matron of honor, but had there been anyone else to choose, she most likely would have chosen them to be...I was just the only choice).  After Goose's death, this best man came by a few times, and eventually stopped.  I have no idea what happened to him since then, but Trix suggested something strange, but never elaborated.  I won't even speculate here, but I highly doubt he'll write or call her back, ever.  But, in the event he does, it's what she says back to him is what we want to know here.  What the entire point of stirring that pot again is for.  Because, it's very, very random that after 5 years she emails him out of the blue (I just remembered, he used to call her all the time and she never called him back...so that's why he stopped talking to her).