Every single time we've gone out to eat with my mother for the past years, it's ALWAYS been when SHE has invited us.  Every year for income tax, we invite her out to eat, usually for my son's birthday.  She ALWAYS declines.

Every.  Single.  Time.

Then she'll run around and complain about we never take her out and she has to pay for us when we do go out.  Thing is: I HATE going out to eat, and she knows that.  That's why she invites us.

So today, my son asked "Can we take out grandma to the steakhouse?  Me and my brother?"  I said "Sure, I'll transfer money to your account."  We were at the store and he asked her and she said "No."  But then we carried in her groceries, he had to beg her (which is total bullshit--a real grandma would say "OMG that'd be so fun!  To go out with my two grandkids?  Let's go!") and she finally said yes. 

BUT the entire time she was bitching she had to pay for herself.  So our mutual friend came over and she kept saying "They are taking me out, but I have to pay for myself!  Isn't that crappy?!"  Supposedly joking, but she wouldn't stop saying it. 

It was getting on my last nerve.  It's like, nobody is taking you out, they are inviting you to go eat with them.  Mother ALWAYS goes out with our mutual friend to eat, and she ALWAYS pays for herself.  So why is it an issue today?  It's not, she was just being a bitch to irritate me.

And it worked. 

So then when I saw her number calling me a few minutes ago on my phone, I knew exactly why she was calling. 

"Oh yeah, I just remembered, I can't go out tonight, I am on medicine that makes me poop so I won't be able to make it home in time after eating."   Um a) then why can she go out with her friend to eat all the time?  b) the restaurant has a bathroom (though I don't like using public restrooms too much either, so I get that part) and c) she takes the meds herself, over the counter (a stool softener) so that's her choice to take them (though she probably needs them). 

My issue isn't her excuse, because I can see where this would be an issue, but what I have an issue with is that I KNEW she was going to call and cancel, period.  Had she not had issues with with her bowels, it would had been some other issue LOL  I laugh, because we are talking about mother's bowels, but in reality, it's not funny.

She made my son BEG her to go, and then she canceled anyway. 

Like always. 

And my son is upset because he really wanted to go.  But he'll get over it, but what he won't get over is realizing that you just don't ask grandma to go out, ever.  And if she invites us?  Let us say NO.  I HATE going out with her anyways, because she picks on fat people, black people, Muslims or anyone who looks different than her (though she's not a small lady, so why is she making fun of big people?).  She'll elbow you REALLY HARD and whisper (LOUDLY) "HEY!  HEY!  LOOK!!  CHECK THIS OUT!!"  *sigh* 

So in all reality, she did my son a favor by cancelling.  At least he won't have to tell her to shut up when she acts like a fool.  Because she will.  She always does....