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My mom's last email to me...

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.....before I blocked her from emailing me again:


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I am sending this to you  too Mr. Brooks, Shay has said she doesn't read her e-mail much so I thought you could get this to her some how. But I don't know if you read yours  either.

I know I P---- you off yesterday but you usually come around 11:00 and after the second call and no answer, I thought you were gone.
When the dogs were barking and no one came I was getting worried, I was thinking of calling the police. I am sorry I worry about all
of you. and at the store I knew you were really p----- off when you and Devan took off and didn't give a rats poop if I needed any help,
I knew than you really didn't get a f---- about me.

Our hours will never be the same.  Even stores realize every ones time is not the same, thats why they have different hours.  ALL I ever wanted was to go to my appts. and or stores early and you could use the car all the rest of the day. I didn't care. I don't want to hear your son had to turn down the job because of no car. It is sitting down here when you need it.

As far as my glasses, you really don't know me .  I wear my glasses everyday to read my books and at night to watch tv. No I don't need the to garden, walking, shopping or sitting in the back seat of the car. Yes when I drive I plan on wearing them.

I will try not to bother you any more with phone calls or stopping to say Hi on my walks.

Remember  the car is here if don't mind sharing it.


                                                                          I still LOVE you all,
                                                                                            Mom
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I copied and pasted this from my email.  So sorry for the font conflicts....it's because of my copy and paste..I should have pasted into Notepad before posting here (that removes all formatting).  But I wanted you see it as I did.  
I didn't even remove the names, as I just don't give a shit anymore.  If you've seen my videos, you'll know my name anyways.  But let's go over her stupid little email together, shall we?
  1. We'll start with the whole "after the second call, I thought you were gone.." bullshit.  I am still slapping my head in wonder in how she thinks cell phones work.  If I didn't call her back after the second call, does she think I am not home to call her back?? LOL  *sigh*  SHE OWNS A CELL PHONE!!  So, is she thinking they don't work when people aren't at home? LOL  I laugh, because I KNOW she knows how they work.  She's just LYING.  100%.  
  2. "I was thinking of calling the police".  No she wasn't.  Never once did she act scared or freaked out NOR did she say one time that she was going to call the police (from where?) if I didn't answer her.  She was riling up my dogs and talking to my cats from the windows (in between her screaming my name).  Never once did she act afraid that something bad happened to us.  I know this because I was standing directly next the window listening to her.  
  3. "you didn't give a rats poop".  I don't give a rat's shit?  Is that even a saying??  No.  It isn't.  "if I needed any help".  I call bullshit on this one too, because she never WANTS any help.  But yes, I was pissed off at the store.  She was acting like a crazy asshole.  
  4. "I knew then you really didn't give a f--- about me".  What, because I didn't help you put milk in your cart??  That's a TALL accusation there, Ma, for such an insignificant reason.  Wow.  That came out of left field.  And then to continue the conversation like that wasn't something awful to accuse someone of?  Are you joking?  No, you're being a narcissistic baby, stomping your feet and acting like a three year old.  That's a 70 year old's version of "I hate you" when they don't get what they want.  But sorry, I can't let that one go.  
  5. "All I ever wanted to do was to use the car in the mornings" (I am paraphrasing).....NO.  You were not supposed to drive.  PERIOD.  What you showed me when you drove said you had a death wish or you wanted to kill your family.  But legally, I could not stop you from driving.  So you got your car back.  You got your "hope back".  So be happy.  Obviously your bad driving was just a lie because now you drive fine (UPDATE: though this part isn't true, she didn't drive fine, just fine enough not to kill herself or others).  Now I look like the crazy asshole who was keeping your car from you.  You win.
  6. "I dont want to hear your son had to turn down the job because of no car."  Are you fucking stupid?  Yes, that's mean....I know.  But for real, are you fucking stupid?  You think I would my son's job in jeopardy for you??  I would put up your crazy ass if I had to in order for my son to keep a job.  So don't be a moron.  If I gave you back your car, you can be sure we had a back up plan.  I am not like you.  I would not put an abusive person over my own children.  
  7. "You really don't know me...glasses....reading...blah blah blah".  Last summer my mom had a FIT to go get new glasses, even though she never wore the ones she had.  Like EVER.  So we got them, and she had a fucking fit go pick them up.  We did, and she never wore them.  They are bifocals and she was TOLD she needs them ALL DAY LONG on, but she only uses them to read.  That's it.  And no, I do know you.  I know you better than you know yourself.  It's me who YOU don't know.  You don't care to.  And I don't want you to.  
  8. "I won't say hi to you on my walks, blah blah blah." AGAIN, her doctor told her specifically she's not allowed to walk alone.  But she continuously defies what the doctor says, so as far as I am concerned, she can do whatever she wants.  She wants to be a big girl?  POOF!  You're a big girl!  You don't need me, or anyone for that matter (though you bitch if you don't get help for the stuff nobody wants to help you with, but bitch if you get help for the stuff you don't want help with....STOP BITCHING!), so now you're a big girl, you can do all your own stuff on your own.  Awww, look at you all grown up!!
  9. "Remember the car is here if you don't mind sharing it".  Are you fucking kidding me?  I just want to smack her face up and down the street for this one.  A) I don't want to share her fucking car, I never wanted it, PERIOD.  I only had it because she was not allowed to drive because she drives like a maniac.  She says this like I was keeping it from her for my own selfish gain.  What a crazy person!  B) But I laugh at this, because I wouldn't touch that car again if she paid me to. The only place I will ever drive that car will be back to the dealership.  PERIOD.
  10. "I still LOVE you all, Mom".  Still?  Did you ever stop? LOL  No, you can't stop what you never started.  No, you love that I do things for you.   You love that you stole money from the government and then acted like you had no idea you did it and then I came along and talked to them and helped you out.  I did ALL the work for you, yet you still continued to shit on me.  You also stopped paying for gas in the car when you wanted to be trucked around like cattle for FIVE MONTHS.  I had to pay for all your gas.  And my own.  Yet you wanted me to be at your beck and call...."I still love you" means JACK SHIT when you can't even be nice.  Fuck any money you gave us, fuck all that shit...instead, why didn't you ever just act like you loved us????  No, you just manipulated everyone around you to get what you want.  Because to you?  That's love.  
This is why I wrote my fuck-off letter to her.  This is why I pulled NO punches when I wrote what I wrote back to her and then promptly blocked her from emailing me back.  This email is total bullshit and she can go fuck herself. 

Can you tell I am angry right now?  Rereading this pile of shit really cements why I am doing this and takes away all that guilt I was feeling.  At least for now it does.  Uggghhhh, I need to go watch some kitten videos to relax!! ARRRGGGHHH!


 


About Post Author

Living life with with a narcissistic parent is one of the hardest things a child can do. Because narcissism doesn't stop with mom and dad, it usually bleeds through the entire extended family dymanic. And the abuse travels with us into adulthood, usually either until the narcissist dies or we go no contact. And usually, our abuse is never talked about, for fear of retaliation or judgment. So I am breaking my silence and showing the world what my mother's abuse looks like so maybe others will feel strong enough to do the same.

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Welcome to Girl Lost.


I am a daughter of a narcissistic mother, one of way too many in this world. If you're here, then you have one too. I hope by reading my words someone out there will realize they aren't alone.

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