For two days in a row, I've dealt with people who have been telling me that they believe that narcissism can be cured with "therapy, introspection, and healing".

......


Yes, you heard me right.

Just let that sink in for a moment.  Though, I do realize that people don't really understand this disorder or how narcissists truly work (for if they did, they'd realize that those three things are the LAST things the world that a narc would be caught dead doing).  But at the same time, if you're going to talk about something, I would rather people do some studying up first before they decide to even have a conversation about it.  I get being ignorant.  I've been ignorant on LOTS of things in my life and I've talked about them publicly without knowing one damn thing I was talking about.  And, because of this, I believe that most people saw me as an idiot (and rightly so).  While I do not believe ignorant people are idiots, I do feel they are being idiotic if they are going to argue with you, when they are so very, very wrong (and back in my day, on a myriad of subjects, I was that same fool).



So instead of freaking out on them and calling them names (as most wont to do in the internets), I will tell them politely that they are so very, very wrong.  And that I can empathize with them, wanting the narcs in our lives to change for the better, but deep down, they just can't.  Normal people can.  But narcs?  They ain't really normal....

If you are in this position, suggest some really great books on narcissism for them to read, so they can become more educated.  If you fight with them, they may fight back.  Instead, handle them with kid gloves, but right now?  They are pretty vulnerable and want to hold onto their fantasies that one day, their narc will become a normal person like us, if they they'd only try hard enough gosh darnit!!  And if they don't give up?  Then politely bow out of the convo, because there is NO changing their mind until they want their mind to be changed.

Don't fight them.  Leave them to their own devices and give them some tools to educate themselves, and let them be.  We all came to the conclusion that our mothers are narcissists on our own.  Then we found out the truth that narcs are incapable of love and that our mothers really don't love us, on our own.  And now we are either no contact or on our way to no contact in the future, which we also came to on our own.  They will, too.  Eventually.  We all have our own timetables for acceptance of this terrible disorder that has robbed us our mothers (and usually fathers, too).  We have to let everyone around us also come to that same conclusion.

If the person is talking about YOUR mother?  Then like literally walk away from them.  They aren't healthy for your mental health or emotional wellbeing.  Until people can understand that our mothers simply cannot love anyone or anything?  We don't need to subject ourselves to explaining it to them a billion times.

You can't change everyone's minds on narcissism.  But you can educate them as much as possible.  Spread the word by blogging, reading books about narcissism in public, taking part on social media discussions about narcissism, and maybe even wearing a stylish anti-narcissistic abuse tshirt! 😜