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A funny memory I have, once that I am very proud of (and one I should concentrate on, rather than those things I can't go back and change or being ashamed of not standing up to her), was one of a doctor's appointment at the beginning of this year. 

Her doctor was running through a list of different things she's done, like smoking and drinking.  And she told the truth when it came to smoking, but then they asked her about drinking and she said "Oh yeah, I used to drink sometimes".  I snorted.  LOUDLY.

She gave me a horribly dirty look.  I laughed and said "No, she used to be an alcoholic.  She was one for my entire life.  She quit drinking back in 2010.  But yeah, she a pretty bad alcoholic." 

The look on her face was worth a million dollars to me.  She quickly started to say something, but the doctor cut her off and moved on while writing that into her medical history.  And then I realized: this was probably the first time EVER that had been put into her medical history.  And I was the one who accomplished it. 


Speaking the truth about your mother is healing (even if in the moment it's uncomfortable). Being able to break the silence of abuse is empowering.  So whenever you think about all the things you didn't do, all the things you didn't say....remember the ones you did.  Remember the times when you had the upper hand in your own life, instead of her.

Because concentrating on the things you never said or did isn't going to help anyone.  All it will do is anger you and make you angrier...at yourself, at your mother, at your life in general.  So instead, concentrate on the times you spoke your truth, the times you stood up for yourself.  Because those are the times that actually matter.  Those are the times that will heal you and make you proud of yourself and will help you move forward. 

Concentrate on the good (the good YOU did), and not the bad (the things you never said or did).  And you'll see your healing take on a new life ❤