Sheldon Cooper is the loveable love-to-hate character from Big Bang Theory, played by the wonderful Jim Parsons.  He plays a scientist with severe aspergers, who is probably the most selfish person on earth.  Well, not really, but pretty close.

I've seen so many times his character being named as one of TV's biggest narcissists.  But I wholly disagree, as Sheldon lacks the BIGGEST reason one would be considered a narcissist:

He doesn't require narcissistic supply. 

Yes, Sheldon is selfish as hell.  He even punishes people (like a selfish child would) for not obeying his orders.  But it's not like he's getting pleasure from punishing people, he just wants what he wants and will do anything to get it.  This indicates a very stunted emotional issue rather than full blown NPD.  He acts like a small child making decisions in a big man's body.

As for his grandeur issues, people with autism who are very book smart usually have a very high sense of self and have a hard time relating to others because of it.  So they have no way to gauge when they've gone too far.  Because autism comes with "black and white thinking", aspies can have an issue with "this is the way it is" and have a hard time changing their minds.  If they believe they are smart, or smarter than others, then they will express that idea, a lot.  Black and white thinking, mixed with a lack of empathy (unable to understand how other people work), and autism can mimic NPD, to a point.

Narcissists get a kick out of hurting others.  It makes them feel better about themselves and they enjoy hurting people.  Aspies (those with aspergers or autism), do not.  Aspies can be inherently selfish (not always--I am one, and I used to be super selfish), but they don't enjoy fucking with others for the sake of their own sense of self.  Usually we are seen as selfish because we either don't know how to relate to others or can't read when we've pushed to far to get our own way.  Why we want to get our own way is normally because we are stuck in our own heads and have a hard time with the give and take in relationships.  We tend to take more.

We can outgrow some of these behaviors and get better socially, but only if our aspergers is mild.  The more severe we have it, the less we have the ability to adapt and learn about our surroundings or life in general.  And Sheldon?  Is pretty severe (although his character does not 100% correctly depict autism, as in real life, he'd be WAY less social and more apt to spend time alone and he'd script more).

But growing up surrounded by narcissists, and growing up having aspergers, I can clearly see the difference.  Although sometimes, it's still very hard, as many aspies can end up in codependent relationships or sometimes even have NPD themselves.  One women with aspergers I know is married to a man with aspergers, who has NPD.  She, herself, has the type of NPD where she thrives on getting her supply from other bigger narcissists, and causing chaos in their lives with gossip and interfering.  I had always wondered why she chose people who treated her like shit over being friends with me (whom she used and treated like shit).  After learning about this type of NPD, I stopped being angry by her behavior and let it go.  I mean, you can't change a narcissist, right?  So why even be bothered by them?

My friend got off on spreading rumors, creating chaos, and hurting people by telling them what other people said about them (a secondary form of causing pain).  Whereas Sheldon just is selfish, plain and simple.  He doesn't gain happiness by hurting others.  He doesn't need to hurt people to survive.  Without those aspects, you don't have the right mixture for NPD.  All you have is a severely selfish guy with autism who can't see past his own wants and needs.  I can see how one could mix up the two, but without supply?  There's no NPD.  Plain and simple.


TV doesn't ever get it completely right, due to the fact that without redeeming qualities, then the character would be so hated that they'd have no point to be on the show.  But the closest thing I've seen to true NPD is the old show on Disney called "Good Luck, Charlie" that my kids used to watch.  The mother on that show gets off on competing with her daughter and has a very high sense of self.  But the absolute closest thing to real NPD is Raymond's mom on "Everybody Loves Raymond".  Everything on that show is very real when it comes to this personality disorder.  But not Sheldon.  He's just a selfish doofus with redeemable qualities 😉


What TV personalities do you think has true NPD?  Or movies?  Let me know below!