So my mother cannot go downstairs into the basement, per her PT's orders.  She finally had shut up about it (after threatening a thousand times to do it behind my back or trying to "have a talk" with me about how before her PT came she could go down the basement but now she can't...which I had to oh-so-lovingly explain to her that she should have NEVER been going down the basement for the last several years).  And then yesterday, we had a tornado warning.  And of course, we get home, and she's being annoying and loud about how "What would happen if a tornado actually came to our house and I couldn't go downstairs, huh?"  She's just trying to be annoying, which is her "thing".  So rather than rolling my eyes and explaining the OBVIOUS to her, that when the upstairs is more dangerous than the downstairs, she needs to be in the basement, I just said "Oh, don't worry ma, when it comes, it'll just be here to take you and your broom back home to Oz."  

She laughed really hard at that one.  Because that's how you have to work her.  If you try to be normal with her, she will keep on and on and on about something, like a broken record, or a child who can't understand a joke is only funny when it's said once.  But when you joke back, in a mean way (because she LOVES when you're jokingly mean to her...which I do not get), she will crack up and think you're the funniest person on earth.  She is nothing if not being all about self-deprecating humor.

That was a fun part of the night.  Then came the next part.  

So after the storm, she got the mail (something I try to get before her each day because she will lose bills and the such) and she got a credit card offer.  She opened and said "Oh, I love getting these, I love to sign up and see how much they'll give me!"  I just opened my eyes wide and said "Um, that's not how you deal with credit, ma.  No.  The last thing you need is yet another credit card!!"  She has several and signs up for store cards all the time and shops until she drops online.  So I grabbed the envelope from behind her and ran away, all the while she was screaming "GET BACK HERE!"  Oh lawd she was angries.  But I don't care, my job is to look out for her, but also, if she keeps getting credit cards, she won't be able to pay her half of the bills (this month she almost couldn't pay her half of the furnace payment--something she made us get).  So yeah, no.  I ripped it up and threw it in the garbage with cat litter on it so she wouldn't fish it out.  This is how the world turns at our house.  The neighbors looking out their windows to see a fat middle-aged woman running down the street at full speed, while shoving a large envelope down her pants while an old woman screams at her from the garage.  

Just another day in paradise 😜😅