Let me give you some history on birthdays around our house.  Mother controls them as much as she possibly can, and now that she can't, she tries to ruin them in other ways.  And this almost goes for all parties she's involved with, not just birthdays.  Here are some examples:

• My baby shower for my second son (which is sort of a birthday party for their birth, right?).  She tried to take control of it and told me she'd throw me one, but then as it turned out, she didn't plan a single thing.  I had to take over and plan and buy everything.  "We don't need games, that's stupid." is what she said to me when I asked what games she planned.  She didn't even make plans to make food or do anything at all.  So I had to plan my own, which I don't think that's how it works, but it did for me.  And we all had loads of fun (I am a good party planner, btw).  
• Every birthday I ever had as a kid she ruined.  I am not even kidding here.  Her and my father would get wasted and start a fight with each other.  Sometimes even bringing my friends into it, or taking me out in public and humiliating me.  
• The only party that they didn't fuck up?  Was their 32nd anniversary, when I planned it all by myself when I was 12.  I had their friends bring beer (because they were all drunks and had beer on hand anyways) and I provided all the snacks (my friend's mother took me to store to get them).  And I send them to my grandparent's house and filled the house with around 30 of their friends and had them all hide their cars and not once did they even guess there was a party going on, until they came home to all the lights turned off.  Of course their friends were already drunk and one of them said something as they walked in and my parents almost called the police.  Then everyone screamed surprise and they both almost had heart attacks.  To this day, my mother will probably lie and say she knew about it the entire time or even helped me plan it (she LOVES to make up shit that never happened).  But neither of my parents had a clue and the party went amazingly well.  I was 12 and gave them something they never gave me: a party that went off without a hitch.  It was perfect.  Well perfect for a white trash anniversary party. 
• When I was turning 29, my birthday consisted of police escorts helping me getting my stuff out of my house because my mother went psychotic and hit me and tried to beat me more (but I ran away with my kids).  She knew my birthday was the next day so she had to fuck it up the only way she knew how: get drunk and beat your daughter.  It's so funny how much she pretends like she was never this trashy piece of crap chain smoking drunk who used to party every single weekend while nobody watched her kid.  Now she's all proper and shit and acts like everyone else is trashy.  Goodness.  She's still a chain smoker though.  So there's that. 
• Every single birthday for our family she takes us all out to dinner.  Her choice.  She pretends we have a choice but we always end up going somewhere she wants to go.  And usually, in the end, she just outright chooses.  The last time we went out, my husband wanted to go to Famous Dave's and she had a fucking fit.  We went out and she was being insane, screaming at us how to drive and stuff (to my husband, no less, which was so out of character for her) and then bitched the entire time and then on the way home yelled "You know what?!  From now on, I will pick the restaurant."  I replied "Then nobody will want to go anywhere, ma.  You never have to take us out again."  She loves Famous Dave's.  And it was cheaper than most places she wants to go.  But we all hate the places she picked and I pressed that for once, that my husband got to choose for himself.  And then my oldest son's birthday was next and we said "No thank you" when she asked where we wanted to go.  We finally broke the hold she had over us on our birthdays.  Nothing bad even happened at Famous Dave's, she was just being horrible.  And we never went out with her again.  And here's the kicker (as my father used to say), I hate going to eat.  And she knows this.  So that's the only reason she takes us out.  It's a direct combative move against me on her part.  Because once my son said to her "Why do you make mom go out to eat on her birthday?  You know she hates it?"  She replied "Because she can learn to like it."  I only ever agreed to go because it was a free meal for my family and I can't pass that up being poor as fuck.  And she knew this.