I bet there's thousands of articles on NPD and everything related to it out there.  And that's a good thing, right?  I mean, the more education we can have access to, the better we can arm ourselves against narcissistic abuse.  But, there's also a dark side to having so much access to all this info.  And that's the fact that some of that info will be at best, a misunderstanding and at worst, made up information.  

Yesterday I read this article called "23 Signs You're Secretly a Narcissist Masquerading as a Sensitive Introvert".  And I honestly couldn't stop rolling my eyes while reading it, because obviously this author doesn't know much about narcissism, autism, borderline personality disorder, or much else.  Then I looked into his credentials and saw that his brand of psychology is not mainstream, and has some glaring flaws in it, much of which I do not agree with, and much of which basic psychology (which has a good understanding of narcissism) also does not agree with.  But we'll get into that more later. 

Now, let me start by saying, I do agree with the author on some points.  I agree that most people have NO IDEA what introversion really is or what it looks like.  And most articles on introversion (or silly listcles) are full of crap.  

I am an introvert.  I used to be an extrovert, but as I've aged (and stopped insisting that being around other people constantly is good for me--it never was), I've become a staunch introvert.  And I am still extremely sociable and very outgoing.  Though I get my mental energy from being alone, or with small groups of people (like my hubby and kids), I do prefer writing, creating, building, immersing myself in stories (by either reading or TV), and other solitary activities.  I don't mind visiting for a little bit.  I utterly hate parties and small talk (though if I'm hosting, it's better).  But I don't mind doing outdoor activities with others.  I am a tad socially awkward in flash conversations, as I tend to cram too much talking into a short period of time LOL  But that's my aspergers thinking I need to share more than I should.  But I am not horrible with that, only just a little.  Anyways, I am an introvert who would not be seen as an introvert if you just met me.  Because people confuse shyness with introversion, and the two are not the same.  

So this article goes off on a spiel about how "covert narcissists can be mistaken for introverts".  And I'm reading this thinking "Does this guy even know what a covert narcissist even is?"  Raise your hand if your mom is a covert narc.  *raises hand*  And my mother is a total extrovert.  I know many covert narcs who could be classified as extroverts.  I also know some that could be introverts, too.  Covert narcissism has nothing to do with what energizes you as a person.  Just as overt narcissism has nothing to do with being an extrovert.  It has to do with how your narcissism presents.  

An overt narc would look at you and tell you look stupid (this is not a political page, but think of the way Donald Trump talks about his opponent's looks).  A covert narc instead will say some kind of back-handed comment (passive-aggressive) about how someone else who's dressed like you or looks like you looks stupid stupid, leading you to realize they were really talking about you.  Overts are direct.  Coverts are indirect.  They hide.  They cover up their bad behaviors behind a jumble of ideas or words to make you second guess what they said.  You end up asking yourself "Did they really say what I think they said?  Or am I making a big deal out of it over nothing?"  A covert doesn't give two shits if they offend you or even if you call them out on their shit.  As their response, they will say "And?"  A covert will get offended if you suggest they offended you, making it be about you instead of them.  In my opinion, both are horrible, but the covert will make you feel more crazy with their abuse, where as the overt will make you feel shame.  Well, both make you feel shame, but that's an overt's main type of abuse.  

Can coverts be overtly rude and can overts be covertly rude?  Of course.  Nobody is always 100% one way.  But the majority of the time, they will be one or the other.  And neither one has anything to do with introversion or extroversion.  I met an horribly awkward and shy introvert who was also an innately overt narcissist in high school who I punched in the face over his overt abuse of me.  Just because someone's not a spectacular public speaker and popular does not mean they cannot be an overt narcissist.  

But the author then went on to say that "Shyness is more about being anxious and neurotic than introversion."  Neurotic is something you call a dog or an animal who's skittish and shakes a lot.  Nobody calls people that anymore.  It's actually insulting to say a human is neurotic (it's what you call that one ex-girlfriend because you're too simple-minded to understand what anxiety and panic attacks are).  The word he was looking for was "social anxiety disorder", as shyness is actually social anxiety.  I find it hard to believe he has a PhD and still calls people that, but here we are.

So back the article itself, or rather, the title.  The 23 things he lists are just called the "maladaptive covert narcissism scale", which I cannot find anything online to what this scale really is, or why it's considered anything at all, as a majority of it seems to be describing people with aspergers, hypersensitivity, borderline personality disorder and even people who were raised by narcissists.  Is this scale for people who do not have NPD, but just narcissistic behaviors?  I really don't know.  I was developed by researchers who obviously do not follow normal psychology, because it's honestly one of the silliest things I've ever read.  Here is the test and my responses to each one. 
 

This test is supposed to taken by using a scale from 1-5, with one being never, and 5 being always:

1. ___ I can become entirely absorbed in thinking about my personal affairs, my health, my cares or my relations to others.  This can be 100% easily chalked up to autism.  I've known too many narcissists in my life and not one of them become completely absorbed in their own lives.  In fact, far too many become absorbed in other people's lives, especially covert narcissists.  Remember, they are empty shells and need to be filled by others. 
   
2. ___ My feelings are easily hurt by ridicule or the slighting remarks of others.  ADHD has this thing called "rejection sensitive dysphoria" that can make you either go into extreme sadness, a crying fit, or rage when getting your feelings hurt.  Yes, covert narcs are similar, but I hate when someone puts out some kind of silly test to take and now you may think you're a covert narcissist because you're hypersensitive.  Guess what?  No narcissist will take this damn test.  Or, if they did, they certainly won't think "Oh wow, I must be a narcissist".  LOL  That makes me giggle think about.
   
3. ___ When I enter a room I often become self-conscious and feel that the eyes of others are upon me.  Since when did self-consciousness become a narcissistic trait?  Paranoia is a huge part of anxiety, and being self-conscious is part of that paranoid anxiety issue.  Now, if you walk into a room and think everyone is staring because you're hot?  Yes, that's more narcissistic.  But not this one.
   
4. ___ I dislike sharing the credit of an achievement with others.  Yes, if you shared the work with another person and both did 50/50 or similar on a task and you both got credit and that pisses you off?  That could be narcissistic.  But if you didn't share the work, but someone else shares the credit?  By all means, get pissed.  I hate these types of questions because they do not expand on the situation.
   
5. ___ I feel that I have enough on my hand without worrying about other people's troubles.  Sometimes this is called having boundaries.  If you are horrible at listening and think everyone's issues are stupid, that could be both covert or overt narcissism.  But what if you do have enough on your hands and you don't want to take on other people's issues?  This one is, like many on this list, is very misleading.  Also, having low empathy for other people's issues could also be a sign of autism, rather than narcissism. 
   
6. ___ I feel that I am temperamentally different from most people.  What does this even mean?  My anxiety makes me a very irritable person at times.  I do feel tempermentally differently sometimes from others.  This is not a sign of narcissism, and you know why?  A real narcissist would answer this as "never". 
   
7. ___ I often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way.  Again, a narcissist would not answer this as yes.  If you answer this as yes, most likely you're very sensitive and full of shame.  Which is absolutely normal as a child of a narcissist.  And if you answer this as yes, you can learn to build your self esteem so you don't take things personally anymore.  It just takes work and time (and if you can change, you're not a narcissist).
   
8. ___ I easily become wrapped up in my own interests and forget the existence of others.  Bahahahahaha!  This is 100% a trait of an autistic, not a narcissist.  Remember what I said above, about how covert narcs really don't have their own interests.  They do, but not so much they become immersed in what they do.  My mother does puzzles.  She doesn't then do a puzzle so intently she forgets to eat or make dinner or talk to other people or pick them up from school/work.  That's what an autistic does.  That's what I do.  I get involved in a project and then I realize "OMG I need to pee/eat/make dinner/etc.!"  It's classic autistic behavior.
   
9. ___ I dislike being with a group unless I know that I am appreciated by at least one of those present.  Now, who the hell likes to be in a group where nobody pays attention to them?  Or lets them talk?  What exactly does "being appreciated" mean here?  Does it mean someone who wants to hang out with you and is glad you're there?  That's how I take it.  And I'm telling you right now, that not many people would be comfortable being invisible in a group.
   
10. ___ I am secretly "put out" or annoyed when other people come to me with their troubles, asking me for their time and sympathy.  Yes, this is very narcissistic behavior.  Someone who agrees to help you but complains about you behind your back.  Ding ding ding, finally, they got one right.
    
11. ___ I am jealous of good-looking people.  Unless it's a person who's ALWAYS asking for your time or sympathy and you're too codependent to say no.  Then you're not a narc, you're a "yes man/woman".  I've been that person.  Don't be that person. 
    
12. ___ I tend to feel humiliated when criticized.  This is classic rejection sensitive dysphoria.  And it's classic narc behavior, too.  Again, though, a narc will most likely not be taking this quiz.
    
13. ___ I wonder why other people aren't more appreciative of my good qualities.  Maybe you're surrounded by narcissists rather than being one yourself?  This is narc behavior, yes. 
    
14. ___ I tend to see other people as being either great or terrible.  Black and white thinking is narc behavior (idealization/devaluation cycle, which is also present in borderline personality disorder), but is also classic autistic behavior, too.  Maybe I should write an article called "Before you diagnose yourself as narcissistic, make sure you're not autistic instead".  Yes, one can be both.  But while similar, there are distinctions between them as well.
    
15. ___ I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.  Hahaha what?  Since when was having violent fantasies become narc behavior?  I have never once heard of this in all my years studying narcissism.  Although, I have read up on this in the past and know that violent fantasies are very normal in regular psychology, as long as you never have the urge to act on them.  So this one should just be erased.  WTF?
    
16. ___ I am especially sensitive to success and failure.  Um, many people are.  Narcs are, too.  There is a girl in season two of Ink Masters who was in the top two of a challenge with this other guy.  And he was also so gracious and nice and congratulated people who won over him and she was always shit talking people, yelling about how "I'm going to take you down!" and when she'd lose, she'd cry.  Yeah.  That's over the top narcissist behavior.  But, if you have deep shame?  You will also take failure very personally.  But you also may take success as a failure too, especially if you have imposter syndrome.  You may say "Well, that was a fluke, I don't deserve it."  So it depends on how you're being "sensitive" and how you win.  If failure makes you ANGRY, that's some childish bullshit.  And if winning or the possibility of winning makes you act like a dick?  Then yes, that may be narc behavior.  But again, this one is sooooo freaking vague, like all of them, so how are you supposed to answer this?  Ugh.
    
17. ___ I have problems that nobody else seems to understand.  Feeling alone in the world is not only a feeling that narcs get.  And what if you do have problems nobody else understands?  I have severe anxiety.  I have lost SO many friendships, because they didn't know how to deal with me.  So yes, I've felt like this numerous times.  In high school, I had a friend who's father raped her.  How is anyone supposed to understand that?  Or, what if your spouse or child dies?  Most of the people around you will not know what to do with you.  What if you have cancer?  Again, people walk away for lesser.  So yes, people get problems all the the time nobody else understands.  A better way to phrase this is to say "I think my problems are worse than anyone else's, even the little stuff."  Now that's an actual narc trait. 
    
18. ___ I try to avoid rejection at all costs.  That's actually a codependent issue, too.  So again, when you are always putting vague ass descriptions that apply to many on your quiz for narcissists, how does your quiz end up even applying to them? 
    
19. ___ My secret thoughts, feelings, and actions would horrify some of my friends.  Really, and why does this apply to narcs?  Automatic negative thoughts can also apply to people with anxiety, too.  And, what did we talk about above, that violent thoughts are normal sometimes unless you act on them.  So, I don't see how this applies to narcissism at all.
    
20. ___ I tend to become involved in relationships in which I alternately adore and despise the other person.  They already said this one.  Why repeat one when this was written by people with PhD's I assume?  The idealization/devaluation cycle also goes for those with BPD (borderline personality disorder).  AND it can be a learned trait from having a narcissist as a parent. 
    
21. ___ Even when I am in a group of friends, I often feel very alone and uneasy.  Hahaha!  How does this apply to only narcissists???  Lots of people feel this way!  It's called depression you, dimwits! UGGGHHHH!
    
22. ___ I resent others who have what I lack.  Yes, this can be a total narc trait.  It can also be a toxic shame trait. 
    
23. ___ Defeat or disappointment usually shame or anger me, but I try not to show it.  Again, repeating.  Though this one is only about failure, rather than success, too.  Do not repeat questions in a psychological test!  Ugh!  Also, this can be a total autistic trait, as well. 
    

This scale is a joke, because it really is so vague it can apply to overly sensitive people, autistics, or those with borderline personality disorder.  The difference between narcissism and autism, hypersensitive people, or those who have BPD, is what you do with how you feel.  How do you react to each of these?  Not if you have these, because we all have some of them.  But what do you do with those feelings?  

Narcissism is not like other things.  Narcissism's main traits are manipulation, vindictiveness, and cruelty.  Narcs can feel the way we all feel, but when they feel these things they lash out.  They want to hurt the person who is taking away whey they feel is rightfully theirs.  Whether that is a feeling, an item, a job position or other success, their pride, their image, or anything else.  They constantly feel stolen from.  These feelings originate from not feeling enough, just as many of us feel.  But it's not the fact they feel this way that they are narcissists, it's what they do in retaliation or otherwise to deal with that feeling.  It's like a coping mechanism disorder, and it stems from their lack of empathy (which is born) that makes them feel good to hurt others as a way to cope with their feelings of emptiness and shame.  Autistics sometimes have a lack empathy (not all do, but some), but they don't go on smear campaigns or try to ruin someone's life to get them back for making them feel bad.  

Narcissism is all about the reactions.  Where on this test do they ask about that?  Nowhere.  So this test is completely false.  If you come across it, don't even take it, because it's bullshit.  

Instead, concentrate on the behaviors, not the feelings.  If you want to know if someone is a narcissist, check out a wonderful test created by Dr. Karyl McBride here: "Will I Ever Be Good Enough". Even if the person you're wondering about isn't your mother, narcs are pretty much the same and most of the same questions will apply, no matter who it is.  

Now, as for "humanistic psychology", which is the author is involved in.  I've read a little about this approach and I find it to be lacking in basic understanding of the animalistic human brain.  To ignore that we are all animals (even though we're thinking animals), is not just silly, but irresponsible.  We already know that Maslow's Hierarchy (same type of psychology) is outdated and doesn't actually apply in the way Maslow thought it did.  I find this type of psychology kind of basic, unscientific, and well, just "made up", rather than having any actual science to back it up.  I am student of real psychology and I find that it not only works, but it has way more data to back it up.  And getting a doctorate in something unscientific doesn't make you an expert on anything other than what your quackery peddles.  It's like being a chiropractor.  There is zero science to back that up, yet some people consider it a science (which it should be a practice, not a science, just as humanistic psychology should be also considered a practice). 

So be careful what you read out there.  Not everything is coming from a quality place.  You have discern what makes something a good piece of info by researching where it's coming from.  And to me, this "scale" is not a good piece of info.  I am afraid it will make all sorts of autistic people, sensitive people, people filled with shame and others all believe they are narcissists.  And they're not.  This is wholly irresponsible article writing.  

The author is also an author of several books.  You can find his website here, so you know to stay away from his writing (or maybe you'll want to read them? who knows?).  https://scottbarrykaufman.com/  

Remember: always do your research before believing something a book or the internet tells you and discern the information for yourself.