I can't stop laughing at this picture above.  It certainly does not indicate how my hubby feels about my mother's strange love of him.  It makes him feel awkward and gross inside.  I am sure we've talked about this before: my mother thinks my husband is too good for me and constantly reminds me how great he is and how I "lucked out".  No bitch, I chose him.  I didn't luck out.  I carefully chose him.  I started dating him and waited like FOUR months before introducing him to my 3 and 7 year old.  I had to make sure he was a good man and that he was not some kind of fly-by-night weirdo.  And then, I had to make sure he was going to be good father.  Had he not been? I'd have kicked his ass to the curb.  Their father was awful to them.  I was not going to make the same mistake twice.  See, I divorced my ex-husband after six years of his bullshit.  My mother, on the other hand, remained her abusive marriage until the man was dead.  So, tell me again how I "lucked out", mom.  I chose better than she did.  I always have and always will.  

She acts like he's the only one who chose to be in this relationship, and I couldn't say no because who else was going to take me?  Like I was some kind of charity case with two kids that he agreed to take on, I was some kind of burden, and he is some kind of fucking hero.  "Not too many men will take on a single mother with two kids", she'd say in her condescending voice.  Bitch, you realize it's like 2005 (when we met) and men all the damn time choose girlfriends and wives who have kids?  This isn't 1963 anymore, you hollow shell of a human.

The thing is?  My husband is a fucking hero.  To me.  Not because he choose to take us as his family.  That part was easy.  Him and the kids were best friends and loved the ever loving crap out of each other.  But because he's god damned wonderful.  He isn't perfect.  And he admits that, and he changes each time he messes up.  He and I change together, grow together, and have each other's best interests at heart.  You know that song by Kelly Clarkson "Piece by Piece"?  That song is about my husband.  Not literally.  Because Kelly wasn't married to Mr. Brooks before (at least I don't think so).  But piece by piece, he shows me how it feels to be loved without manipulation, control, or anything other than just being me.  And I do the same for him.  He has a narc mother, too.  And I've shown him how real love should look like.  He and I have our glaring flaws.  But we allow them and help each other heal so we can be better people in the future to each other, but also for ourselves.  

But my mother tells me, in so many words, practically every single day, that my husband is gold, and I am worth dirt.  "Oh, he's so wonderful!  You are so lucky!  You got a good one!"  She has never once told him that he has a good one, or that I am awesome or wonderful.  She doesn't tell her friends that, or strangers.  Just about him.  She brags on him every chance she gets.  "Oh, my daughter is married to writer!"  or "Oh my son in law is going to college, holding down a full time job, mows the lawn, and writes books!  He's super human!"  Never mind he went to college last year during his six month covid layoff, and before that, he worked as an ambulance dispatch worker, and only worked 7 days out of two weeks, so he had 7 entire days to do school in every two week period.  Never mind we ALL mow the lawn (though not mummy, she can barely walk).  Never mind he didn't write a single book while attending college (though since, he's written like four! whoo hoo!).  "Oh, are you writing a book?" she'll ask if he's on his computer.  She never asks me that.  Though, maybe that's for the best since I'm usually writing about her.....

So today she's going on and on and on about how my husband has to "suffer" through waiting with her during her doc's appointment.  Oh poor Mr. Brooks!  He had to sit in a waiting room with her!  It was the worst thing ever!  A whole half hour!  She's been going on about this since it happened.  Good lord.  She was going on about it there, and my husband said "Listen, even if Shay came with, I'd have to wait in the car.  So why would I want to do that in the cold?"  This is a sound argument.  But not to my mother.  No way.  "But still, I felt so bad for you to have to wait for so long!"  This was pre-appointment.  Had she been with me?  She would not be fawning over me.  Instead, she'd be PISSED and would be literally yelling at the nurses about taking so long.  But since Mr. Brooks was there, she instead poured her bullshit into pity for him, instead.  

What a crock of shit. 

And then she would not stop talking about it, for days on end.  Then today, she turned to me and said it again.  She went on and on about how Mr. Brooks had to suffer through sitting in the waiting room with her, waiting for her appointment, and I said "So it's okay for me to suffer?  Because that's what you're saying here.  You're saying I should have come with, and Mr. Brooks should have waited in the car, and then I'd be the one suffering by sitting in the waiting room with you."  And the thing is, I would have suffered, because she would have made having to wait with me hell.  But she's always on her best behavior with Mr. Brooks, which is partly why he takes her (the other part is to give me a break from doing everything for her).  So she looks at me and says "Well, I guess so."  And then she wandered off and didn't bring it up again.  

Sometimes, you can get her stop obsessing just by pointing out that she sounds cruel or mean or rude.  Sometimes she gets angry.  But lately, she's been accepting what I've been saying (not always, just with some things) and stopped bringing things us.  For now.  Because with her, it always comes back up later, when she's bored and wants to stir shit up.  But for now, she's quiet about it.  

And the thing is, my husband gets so uncomfortable when she fawns over him and then treats me badly.  It's just strange and he always jokes that she wishes he was her husband and not mine (she'll literally tell me what to do with my own husband, especially if there's work to be done).  One day I'm going to snap and say "Why is Mr. Brooks so sacred to you?  Why do you have this obsessive need to treat him like a god or your king, but then treat the rest of us like your slaves?"  And the day will come when I will say this, because it's long overdue.  And I have a big mouth LOL  

I don't always have a big mouth.  But I do when I need to.  

Anyways, just another blog post about how much my mother loves my husband in a very strange way.