But then again, what else is new?

If you're not new here, then you'd know that my mother's modus operandi is to threaten people when she's backed into a corner with no way out.  It's been a bit since she's been able to threaten me or my family, so I bet today felt great for her.  And here's the funny part: she threatened Mr. Brooks, not me or my oldest son (her other scapegoat).

Yup.  You read that right.  She threatened her golden child.  Her favorite.  The one she thinks I'm not good enough for.  And it wasn't like he picked an argument with her and started it, she picked one with him.  Not sure what bug crawled up her ass today to get her to do that, but one did and it was done.  

Today she told him that if we didn't give her back control of her money, she's out.  Like, she's going to stop paying on the house and go into a home.  So my husband shot right back her and said "So, you're going to let everyone in this house go homeless?"  She said "I'll be fine.  I'll be in a home." all smug-like.  So he said "Well, I hope you realize if you do that to us, this will be the end and none of us will ever have anything to do with you again."  And unlike her threat, he meant it.

Here's how it all started though: he brought her meds (she's on norcos for her foot pain after surgery, which she needs).  We rushed out to go get them for her since she was out.  I am on day 3 of my migraine, complete with horrible anxiety I've been experiencing the whole time.  So we left to go get her meds and drop of our boxes that were taking up space in the car to the resale shop (which is like like Salvation Army).  I felt horrible, so we didn't go in.  Then we got her meds and went home.  We took the long way home, only so we could see if any trucks were for sale on our way, as we got our stimulus money and we desperately need our own car (we haven't owned a car in over a year--we are at the whim of a crazy lady by only driving her car and living in a house that's only in her name).  We come in, he hands her her meds and then rather than say thank you, she says "No smokes?"  I hate when she acts like an ungrateful brat like that.  She won't say thank you for us wasting our gas (that we pay for) and time, while I feel like shit (she never cares when I don't feel well) to go get her meds.  

Now, it's not like we'd ever say no.  Of course we are going to get her meds.  Always.  But that doesn't mean she can take us for granted and rather than say thank you, ask us about something we didn't get her.  She always does this to us.  It's irritating as fuck.  Had it been me, I always tell her "YOU ARE WELCOME." when she does this.  But my husband was caught off guard and said "Oh no, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot you needed those."  

Rather than just say something like a normal person would say, she says her old go-to "Oh, well, let me know if you're going to get them for me or if I have to make a call."  She says in a way that makes it sound like she's in the mafia or something LOL

*snort*  "make a call"  Ha!  This means she's going to call her little 5'1" friend Christmas and she'll drop off a couple packs for her.  So this did not sit well with my husband.  I would have just laughed at her and said "Mmkay, ma, do what you gotta do."  But already today Mr. Brooks had to yell at our neighbor who walks his dog every single day right into our driveway to make our dogs bark at his dog.  Every fucking day.  Today was the last straw and he marched out there and said "Hey!  You hear my dogs barking like mad? (we have 4)  You hear that?  Yeah?  Maybe get out of our damn driveway!"  Okay, he didn't really say it like that, but close.  This guy is a HUGE annoyance and comes into our yard daily to harass us every single time we're out, as well as when we're inside.  So today was not the day for my mother pull some shit with Mr. Brooks.  

So he replies to her "Yeah, call who?  Because I will get your damn cigarettes, I just happened to not get them today.  Maybe you shouldn't have started smoking again after quitting for the month you were gone?  What a stupid decision that was!"  She replied "Well, I've made worse decisions."  He said "Yes, I know.  So I'm going to go now and finish the rest of my day, goodbye."  And she yells back "Well, just let me know so I know if I have to make some calls or not."  

He came into the bedroom where I was and told me what happened.  Then he felt bad and went out and apologized.  And instead of being nice to him, she said "Well, I want control of my money back."  And he asked why.  She is upset because she wants to buy more than $100 worth of plants and I only gave her $100 for her allowance this check, which is what I told her I'd give her, $100 out of each check.  She already spent $87 in today online on plants, and is mad she doesn't have more to spend on more fucking plants.  So my husband says "Well, I don't have $200 a month spent on whatever I want.  You're lucky."  

"Well, I don't care.  I can just get all my money back with a couple calls."

"Haha no you can't.  And besides, this way we know the bills are getting paid and everyone is safe.  You have bills to pay that you were not paying on.   It's not like we're taking your money just to have it.  It's not like it's that much anyways.  And Shay is your power of attorney so she has control of your money."

"That doesn't matter.  I can still get it back.  Just give it back to me.  Or else."

"Or else what?"

"I don't know.  I'll just stop paying on the house." 

"So, you'll make us all homeless?"

"Well, I'll be fine.  I'll be in a home." 

"Oh wow.  You'd do that to your family?  Wow.  Well, I hope you know if you did that, that none of us would have anything to do with you ever again." 

"Just give it back."  

"This is not the time to talk about this.  I'm going to go now."  

I know there were more threats in this conversation.  And more to the threat itself.  It was far more convoluted and stupid because my mother's brain doesn't work right.  And also, back when she fought me to drive, she would threaten the same thing several times a week, about "giving the car back to the dealership".  And my comeback was always "Oh yeah?  And how would Mr. Brooks get to work and how would we pay our half of the bills and mortgage?"  And it always shut her up.  But my hubby was in an already bad mood due to being in the position to have to yell at our neighbor (I mean, really, what an asshole this guy is..always in our yard thinking making our dogs go nuts is funny!), so he wasn't thinking of our #1 rule, which is "DO NOT ENGAGE HER WHEN SHE'S MAKING THREATS".  But he did and she took it too far.  

And it wouldn't be a big deal except for two things: 

1. She actually went after my hubby, of all people, her favorite person.  And even though it made Mr. Brooks uncomfortable to be her favorite person, I am sure it hurts him deep down, because it's like being rejected by his mother all over again (his mom has NPD, too, and doesn't speak to him).  And:
   
2. We've been homeless.  Quite recently, actually.  Which is why we moved into the apartment building with her to begin with.  And when we did, she treated us like total dogshit for the first six months, and then like lesser dogshit since.  She even refused to let me go get my family food when we had nothing (and I mean, we didn't have beds, furniture, or even lamps or plates or anything at all).  So not only did we come from homelessness, she forced us to stay in dire straits for as long as she could, just to punish us for going no contact with her.  Never mind we had no food.  Never mind we had no beds to sleep on.  Never mind we were suffering.  It was all about her and her revenge.
   

So to threaten my husband with that of all things?  It really hit him right where there is still an open wound.  Remember, it's only been two years since coming back from Fartass, MO, where we were tricked into believing we had at home to live in.  And for my hubby, that wound is far more gaping than it is for me (though it still is for me, too).  So he panicked.  It's like with me, if you fuck around and tell me you want to kill yourself? I will call the fucking cops and get you help, even if you don't meant it.  BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS NOT A GAME.  So when someone threatens homelessness on his family?  He went straight into "let's get the fuck outta here!" mode.  Because to him, THAT SHIT IS NOT A GAME!  And I'm with him on that.  I cant take care of her anymore.  I can't stand it.  And if she's going to throw a hissy fit every single time she can't buy a billion dollars worth of bullshit, then we're going to have a bigger problem on our hands.  

Now, I know.  I remember what it was like when I took her car away from her.  I know how hard her push back was.  And it was all hot air.  But Mr. Brooks, and even me, we can't handle the threat of taking away where we live.  And certainly not every five minutes because that's the ONLY thing she has to threaten us with.  

The funny part about her threat is that she can't even figure out how to use her debit card online anymore.  No, that's not funny, that's sad.  What is funny is that she wants to threaten that she can just "make a couple of calls" to get her money back, but she has no idea how to do that, where to call, what to say to these people to get them to do it for her, or even how to set up a new bank account to put the money into.  She can't figure how to get to certain websites sometimes, or even understand what any of it means anymore.  She's really losing it.  So there is actually ZERO threat here.  She couldn't stop paying on the house or take her money back, even if she tried.  The problem is that if she could take her money back, the bills will not get paid, because I have to have access to her account to take the money for bills anyways.  And the old system wasn't working because she was spending too much, not leaving me enough to pay bills with or she was spending all of it after paying bills and leaving ZERO for savings, so while we were making less money than she was (though not now we aren't), we had to save money so we could pay for the house and car repairs and vet bills and I'd have to bill her for the next month.  It was total rubbish the way it was working.  Now?  She gets her allowance, the rest goes to bills and savings.  

Not to mention, the stuff she'd spend her money on was batshit insane stuff that only crazy people bought.  AND add in the fact she was also killing her fucking cat by feeding him wet food and people food every single day, to the point he'd throw everything up immediately after.  After she left to stay in that rehab facility a few months ago?  I stopped feeding any of the cats wet food and never gave them people food and he hasn't puked since AND he's finally putting on weight.  This stopped her hundreds of dollars of cat food bills each month, too.  Boom, right into savings.  And her cat doesn't look like he's dying anymore (he was so freaking skinny!---she is a total fucking idiot with pets and should never be allowed to take care of anything, ever). 

BAD DECISIONS.  That's all my mother ever has been and ever will be. One big stupid bad decision.  I also don't trust her to keep paying on her life insurance or her car insurance, which were both things she let lapse before we moved here.  And that's not dementia, that's just her.  

I will just be adamant and tell her she has two choices: she can either have me, or the home make her financial decisions for her.  That's it.  That's her choice.  And I will stick to my guns.  Eventually she'll back down, but if not, there's the fucking door.  And in the meantime, we are planning our "get the fuck out of here" strategy (which we started when we moved in here).  I just hope we can implement our plan before she either chooses a home over us or we have to put her in one.  It's so hard, when you're coming back from homelessness, and having nothing.  No car.  No job.  Nowhere to live.  No items.  We've had to build ourselves back up, though we're still not quite there yet.

Here is our plan: 

We need an SUV and a truck.  We are a family of four adults and need at least two vehicles.  We need land to purchase for cheap.  We need two campers.  That's it.  That's our plan.  Land.  Vehicles.  And somewhere to live that someone can't take away from us (well, Mother Nature could, but hopefully she won't).  It seems easy.  But it's not.  We've been working on our credit scores (we paid off most of our debt with our income tax...it wasn't that much, thank goodness) so we can get a loan for land.  But getting a loan for one or two vehicles or land will be hard, since he's only been working for four months since being laid off for six months due to the pandemic last year.  Most creditors want six months of working at the same job.  We need our own car, now.  But we're working on it.  And that's our "get the fuck outta here" plan.  A peaceful life with mother in a nursing home and us not having to deal with her anymore.  Yes, I'll talk to her and bring her stuff.  But I don't want to live with her or be her caretaker, because she's obstinate, deviant, careless, and reckless.  The other day I had to remove her extra norcos from her room and hide them since she said she was going to sell them.  *sigh*  I said that's a fucking felony and I'm not having her break the law under my care.  She just laughed at me.  And she's sold them before, so I believe her when she says this shit (she sold some to a woman who later died from overdose from the same pills---years later, but I told her "Doesn't it make you feel so good about yourself that you added to her addiction which caused her death?"  She said she didn't give a shit---my ma is so nice).  

Yeah, this is some poisonous, toxic, bullshit I have to deal with as her caretaker.  And now she's threatened to take the house we live in away (again, I know she can't, but still).  I am done.  Anyone have any campers, land or vehicles for sale?  LOL

Until we find them at a price we can afford, we're stuck here.  But until then, I'm downsizing and packing!!  Muahahahaha! 

Okay, enough rambling.  But I feel bad for Mr. Brooks.  Apparently he'll be on her shit list for a bit...and that means she'll be sucking up to me.  Too bad I am team Brooks and she can fuck right off to fucking town.  

Till later.