Growing up a child of lazy and toxic parents means that they were pretty neglectful in many different types of ways.  And one way they neglected me was to not teach me the things I needed to know in order to just do normal everyday things.  Even though some of the things they didn't teach me may have been due to the fact they didn't know because their parents didn't teach them, but that doesn't make it any less neglectful.  Just know that I am not throwing a bunch of blame on them, I'm just pointing out the things I never learned that I should have, some due to pure neglect, some due to ignorant neglect.  

Being able to point out all the things I should have been taught growing up helps me to know as a parent where I am neglecting teaching my own children what they need to know, so I can correct that and become a better parent.  

So here are some of the things I was never taught growing up that I should have been: 

• All machines with motors and/or moving parts need oil.  ALL of them.  This includes sewing machines and lawn mowers, as well as your car.  You should be checking the oil every month on your lawnmower and car, and oiling your sewing machine every week if you use it daily, every month if you use it weekly, and every six months if you use it only once in awhile.  Though you should check it to make sure it doesn't need it more often.  I found out the hard way that machines need oil by a) running a nice working newer lawnmower into the ground and as well as doing the same to an old serger.  I had no idea they needed oil!  Now, my parents didn't sew, so that's not on them, but the lawnmower?  That's Life Experience 101.  I never once saw my father put oil in ours and I never put oil in it after he died.  I have no idea how I didn't break it.  Maybe my  mother was putting oil in it on the side and not telling me?
  
• Dogs need their nails cut.  Who knew??  I grew up with several dogs and my mother never cut their nails once.  I had ZERO clue that you need to do this regularly or else you can give your dogs arthritis.  Which is what happened to my girl dog, which is how I found out that it was a regularly thing that needs to be done.  A dog who clacks their nails on the hard floor is a dog who's nails are too long.  Yeah, now I feel like a total asshole for not knowing that.  And now all of my dogs (and I have lots) get groomed and their nails clipped regularly, by me.  
• Dogs need their teeth cleaned or else they will get issues with their hearts.  If your dog has plaque buildup, they are the type who need regular teeth cleaning.  I had NO clue this was a thing.  But apparently, it is.  Now I have a toothbrush that I use on them (a finger one).
• Cats and dogs need their ears cleaned regularly.  Again, who knew??!  When you grow up with parents who neglect their pets (and I don't even to go into how much my pets were neglected and abused by my parents), you don't grow up knowing the skills to keep them healthy.  So I had to learn all this from various vets.  
• I had a mortgage and had ZERO idea what it meant or how it worked.  None.  It wasn't until I was completely involved with the house buying process when we moved here that I learned about any of it.  And now I know everything (mostly) there is to know.  But that's not wholly on my parents, as they never had a mortgage in their life.  They bought their house "on contract" and from what I can tell, my mother's name wasn't on it.  So neither one would have known how to explain anything to me anyways, not that they would have LOL.  
• I had no idea how or why or what credit scores actually did.  Or how to maintain one.  Then again, neither did my parents, so I can't blame them for not teaching me financial skills.  They were horrible at it, and the only reason they had so much in savings was that my father's check was automatically split between them and the savings account, one they never touched.  But it wasn't like they were good at money.  I swear, every single month we were getting pink disconnection notices, because my mother only paid the bills when we were about to get shut off.  So, they were really poor at managing money.  Most of it went to dressing me in the finest clothes the used store could buy (just kidding, it was the cheapest), and beer and cigarettes.  And my dad made good money.  So, that's a lot of booze and smokes, cause I certainly wasn't getting new clothes regularly.  Granted, this spawned my love for all things cheap, so I guess it was a good lesson?
• I was never taught to wash clothes right.  Well, I was never taught to wash clothes, period.  I had to teach myself by reading the manual.  My mother would get annoyed with me and throw a red shirt or sock in with my clothes and turn them all pink.  So I had had enough, and never let her do my laundry again after one of my favorite new shirts was ruined.  And now, I found out I was never washing them right to begin with (damn manual).  So I went to YouTube and it has straightened me out, thank goodness.  I think YouTube is replacing parental advice these days.  Though I think that's a good thing, because most parents are just grown children who never learned how to do things right anyways.  Growing up, the advice my mother gave me was always 100% wrong.  Still is.  Which is why I turn to YouTube.  
• I learned how to check the oil in my car from my old next door neighbor.  She looked at me and my mother one day and said "You two are a couple of girls!  Do you even know how to check your oil?"  And then she took us out to the garage and showed us.  I don't like her anymore, but I am grateful to her for teaching me (as an adult) how to check my oil.  A few months ago we had a flat tire so I called AAA.  When he came, I asked him to show me under the car where I put a jack, because I have zero idea where one would go.  And I didn't want to bend the frame or something.  Or break my car.  So he got on the ground and so did I and he pointed out where to jack.  And now I feel cool, like a superhero or something, because I know car things.  Something my father (who was a literal mechanic) should have showed me.  But he was too busy drinking his Keystone Light and whatnot to do much with me.  Though now he's dead, so he gets a pass.
• Nobody ever taught me how to do dishes correctly.  In fact, I was never made to do them growing up, not once.  And when I was older, we got a dishwasher.  So I did know how to load and unload that.  It wasn't until my brain started getting more organized (something I've been working on for many years) that I figured out the best way to get them done.  Today, I try to school my kids and hubby and mother on the right way to do them, but nobody listens.  So I leave the room so I don't have to watch the horror of people throwing dishes in the sink willy nilly and running the water the entire time.  Uggh.  I just can't think about it because it bugs me so much!! AAAHHH!  Though I am not like Roseanne (from "Roseanne") who would rewash the dishes if someone else did them.   Well, I mean, I actually do.  But only because my mother has dementia and puts away dirty dishes all the time.
• Pinterest has taught me how to keep house properly.  I mean, it's a work in progress.  This I will not blame on my mother because I am a messy person.  I was born that way.  I have ADHD and I am very, very unorganized, with my thoughts and my stuff.  But I keep getting better and better the more I work on it (and work on being more minimal with the stuff I own).  I once had a close friend (Kermit from my soon-to-come-out-memoirs) who was Type-A and was a neat freak.  She had an immaculate house and held down a full time job, was a mom, and still had time for crafting.  I said "Damn girl, I am jealous of your mad skillz!"  And she told me "Please do not be jealous, it's like a sickness with me, I have to keep things clean or I go crazy."  And out of everyone I knew who was clean like her, she was the only one who didn't use it to lord it over us messy people that she was better than us.  Most Type-A's are kind of assholes.  They use their need for cleanliness and their organizational skills to shame the rest of us, as though being born with a highly organized brain is something to act like they had any choice in.  But not her.  So high five to Kermit for being one of the nice ones.  And for realizing we're all different.  My mother, on the other hand, still will shame me to this day for not being perfectly organized.  Even though our house was caked with dog piss and second-hand cigarette smoke.  But hey, at least there were no books stacked on the table and her counters were clear!  Whoo hoo!  

I could probably write a billion more things, but I'll leave it for now.   My parents were way too self-involved (and involved with their peers) to even think about teaching me about becoming an adult.  I think they thought their only job was to house me and feed me (and probably clothe me and stuff, too).  And that's it.  And I am sure your parents were the same.  Because all toxic parents are are little kids wearing grownup suits.  And they either don't know enough or care enough to teach us the things we need to know in life.  So we either learn it from someone else, teach ourselves, or learn as adults.  

Though, thank freaking goodness for YouTube and Pinterest.  How would we adult with them?