I am glad they are fixing my mother's medication issues because they aren't working for her anymore.  But today, I found out that the meds that she's been on for at least twelve years, cause confusion and brain issues.  Um, what?  This is the first I've heard of it.  Though I do know the meds she's on for her tremors also cause confusion and brain issues, but she cannot stop using those, otherwise she'd be in a home.  But I had no idea that Oxybutynin had the same effect.  

Here's the thing: my mother's been diagnosed with dementia.  And slowly, she's getting worse most days, and has been for almost thirteen years or so.  And I clearly remember her confusion starting before she got on her meds.  But what if the meds are what's causing her to get worse?  I would never willingly say "Stay on the meds, ma!  We need you loopy!" because those meds are not working anymore.  And I am not here to make anyone suffer needlessly.  But the idea of her regaining her mental state does not bode well for anyone in our house.

Well, the same thing happened when we found out she was low on vitamin B12.  She got the shots but her mental status did not change at all.  So that's something.  

Okay, I feel like a big fat asshole for saying this, but if my mother did not have dementia?  I could not live with her.  Like, at all.  Her dementia makes her bearable.  It makes her nicer (though not always).  It makes her stop bugging me about shit she can't do (like stuff her doctor told her to stop doing).  It's makes her agreeable and able to get off everyone's cases.  My mother without dementia is an asshole, plain and simple.  She's cruel and mean.  And now that's she'll be getting new meds tomorrow, if her mind starts going back to her old self?  And it's not dementia that was causing all of it and it was just these meds?  She will have to go into assisted living.  Because this only works when she's not being horrible.  

Like I said, the idea that I am fearing her "dementia" behavior will be reversed makes me feel like a jerk.  Because I had two grandparents and an uncle with it (my mother's parents and brother), and I see what it does to you.  So I don't want to wish that on someone, but at the same time, I cannot have a relationship with her when she's got all her marbles about her.  Because then, she becomes dangerous.  And I won't live with a dangerous person in my home.  So, we'll see what happens.  And if it's going to clear up, it should happen quickly (as it did with my husband when he was on meds that did that to him).  So we'll know soon.