Not like right away, but soon.  I am aiming for this summer.  It's January, a year ago mother was in a home for four months in short-term physical rehab.  So, if she were to go into a home now, we'd have around five months to find a house, so I am not too worried.  But I am worried about our credit score issues and our money issues.  I have enough money to pay off all our debt.  But, if I spend all of it, we won't have anything for a down payment.  So, we're screwed.  

Well, not completely.  

Here's the deal: ma bough this house back in April of 2020, right when lockdown started.  It was a good thing for us, because if there had been no lockdown, ma would have went around and got herself sick, and in turn, got us sick.  So, having our state in lockdown was the best thing that could have happened for us.  It kept my family safe.  Also, moving helped too.  Because if we didn't move, then she wouldn't have listened to me about not going out.  And still, we'd all have been sick.  

Now, ma's dementia is getting worse and we have a choice: we can live with her for five more years and not put her in a home or just wait and see, and then lose the house.  I talked to both the mortgage company today and an estate lawyer, and the first told me to call the second and the second said "You're fucked."  Sigh.  

Naw, he didn't use those words, but he did basically say that sentiment.  We cannot buy this house.  If we do, we have to live with her for five more years and keep her here.  And the longer we wait, to work on our credit, the longer the five years will start.  Soooooo.....yeah, totally not going to put myself, or the rest of my family, through that torture.  Plus, in five years, she will need nursing care I cannot provide.  The only reasons someone keeps their parent out of a nursing home to stay at home with them are: 

1. They love their parents and want to spend every last moment with them, or
2. They want or need their money, or
3. They feel a codependent sense of obligation towards them.

Which means I am not putting myself, or my family, through another five years of living like prisoners in our own home.  No way, Chipotle.  

And besides, I really, really don't like this house.  I mean, I could have made it better.  I would have.  I had plans.  Lots of plans.  But not anymore.  Now I have to look forward and really take 2022 by the balls and GET SHIT DONE.  I need to purge all the stuff I don't want to take to move and really, really work on both our credit scores (though mostly my hubby's) AND work on building up our savings like mad.  

Come April, hubby is up for a job change (his job allows their employees to move up in their job once a year) and he's applying for this job with a HUGE raise, which will help us do both.  But at the same time, my job is to also push to make as much money as possible for our credit scores, debt, and our savings.  And we need to do it all FAST.  Because this summer is only six months away.  We can wait until fall instead, but not winter.  We need to get out of here before then.  Why?  I don't know.  I just don't like waiting LOL  

But again, unless she goes into a home for any reason this year, I am not in a HUGE rush.  Though I really, really would love to be in a different home as soon as we can, just so we can feel like we're not teetering over an edge, waiting to fall.  

But now I have got my answers and we can stop living in our heads about this, thinking of "what ifs" and instead, we now have actual facts.  We cannot buy this house from her, we cannot transfer the house into our names, even if I was declared disabled it wouldn't matter, and we need to find a new place to live.  Ugh.  I really hate feeling like anything could happen, because in the past, the worst did happen, and we became homeless and lost everything we owned.  I feel nervous and anxious right now, but at the same time, I feel energized to know I have a future goal I am working towards.  That what I am doing is just not for some random possible idea, but now a concrete goal of moving forward.  Deep breathe *cough* (I hate allergies LOL).  

Just keep deep breathing, and purge, purge, purge.  And make time to make a boatload of money LOL  Okay, we'll see if I can actually make a boatload, but just enough to pay some debts will be nice.  But the extra is always welcome :)  

3...2...1....Go!