Our tale begins back several years ago, when my hubby's cousin, let's call her Spazoid, offered my husband a job at her new company.  They developed a drone that had been picked up by a government contract, and now needed actual people to work for them.  And my hubby is extremely qualified for many, many things.  And I cannot tell you what she was going to hire him for, because I honestly don't remember.  FINALLY, we were going to get out of poverty!  FINALLY, my hubby was going to get paid what he's worth!  FINALLY, our dreams of being normal Americans with normal pay with a normal place to live and a normal car were going to come true!  Actually, we did have a normal place to live and a normal car, but we could not afford either of them, and were living negative check to negative check. Which means were living on payday loans.  So the idea of my hubby working for a REAL job just made us all giddy with glee!

See, he started work at this new place when we first got together.  He even helped build the store.  He has a degree, but nobody was hiring, so he was stuck at this store.  Now this this store, was the new hot thing and was the top monthly grossing store of this chain in the entire country.  They were banking!  And yet, we were still living on food stamps and using our state's medical card.  

And we continued to live on both until 2020.  

So my hubby worked his ass off for the next twelve years (I can't work, due to my medical issues--and I don't qualify for disability, even though back then I did and had no idea!!  I am so angry about that, too, knowing I could have helped provide for our family and was told I couldn't, even though I could) only to make barely enough money to pay our bills. Then one day, he comes home in a un Uber with a box of stuff.  Apparently, they walked in and said "Sorry, we can't pay you anymore" and sent him home.  Just.  Like.  That.  

But that's in the future (it was just a few years ago, actually).  We're still talking back in the day when Spazoid offered my husband a job which was going to make our dreams come true.  

Until it wasn't.  

She stopped talking to us and my husband was getting worried and started trying to find ways to contact her.  And she acted annoyed with us, even though he only asked about the job once.  And that's when other people started contacting us and telling us that she was fucking everyone over and not paying them.  Apparently, there never was a job for my husband.  And she was taking all the money and ditching everyone, even those who did work for her.  

What we didn't know was that Spazoid?  Was a total narcissistic conman with horrible emotional issues, who was teetering on the edge of insanity.  And I mean total insanity.  

So that was the tale of the job that wasn't.  

Then we have my cousin who, a few years later, offered us a place to live (due to all our poverty after my hubby got laid off from that job I talked about above) for free, that turned out to be non-existent, too.  And then acted angry with me for the entire thing when it was all on her (though I shouldn't have believed her).  

But that's not our story today.  But I'm including it because it's similar and it's for the timeline here.

So then after we came back from that horrific mess with my cousin, my hubby took a very low-paying job at a company for insurance claims.  He worked up the ranks there in the six months he worked there, but then found a job as an ambulance dispatcher, which rocked but paid shit (he worked 3 days on, 4 days off, 4 days on, 3 days off--it was majestic!).  But then the pandemic hit, and his business went under and he was out of a job again.  But then a year later, he got a job where he works now.  And just like that, we could afford our bills for the first time in our lives.  

And, within six months, he was given a promotion and now makes close to $50,000 a year.  Which is like rich to us, as we used to make less than $30,000.  And then he joined his company's sustainability program, which he loves.  And he helps the leader with all sorts of things, such as writing the company's blah blah blah and developing programs and writing the company's sustainability newsletter.  I say blah blah blah, because I have no idea what it's called, but it's something fancy sounding and important LOL  So he said to the leader, we'll call her "Gigantic Douche",  "Hey, do you think there are any jobs in this program?"  Because he'd rather work for something important that makes a difference, than work with people who come to work to get a paycheck (he's a manager who wants to make a difference in the employee's lives, not someone who just wants to yell at people when they mess up, like his boss does).  And at first, she said "No, it's only me."  Which was where she should have left it.  But then, she continued.  And here is the exact conversation they had, word for word, which I copied down from his text conversation: 

Hubby: "Also I was wondering are there other positions in the program?"

Gigantic Douche: "As of right now we only have volunteers.  But I am the only full-time dedicated resource.  Would definitely be amazing to have some more support and think this idea would be welcomed.  I'll raise this to the head of HR the next time I talk to her and circle back on this item near your one year anniversary.  Were there any particular areas or titles you were interested in?  Would definitely love have you help out with (all sorts of duties she listed)."

Hubby: "I would like to be a (insert title here, I can't remember)."  

Gigantic Douche: "Okay great, let's circle back on this.  I don't see why not! (smiley face)"

Hubby: "Wow, you really made my night, thanks so much!"

Gigantic Douche: "Thank YOU for all your contributions.  Very glad to have you on the team."  

So, he can't move up in his job until his anniversary is up, which is in a couple weeks.  Which is what she was talking about.  So on Monday of this week (it's Wednesday now), he had a meeting with her and he asked her about it, since that's what she told him to do.  And their conversation went like this: 

Hubby: "Oh, by the way, my anniversary is coming up in two weeks.  I was wondering if you had heard back from the head of HR about the position we talked about?"

GD: "Um...you mean, like, more than a volunteer basis, like a full-time thing?"  (she said this really slowly)

Hubby: "Yeah, remember?  We talked about this." 

GD: "Yeah, I kind of remember...what exactly was it again?" (she says in a dum-dum voice)

Hubby: "Yeah, remember it was the position so I could help you out with the work full-time instead of only in my off-time?"  

GD: "Oh, right.  I think I remember that...hmm.  When I mentioned it to the head of HR, she you'd basically be doing my job.  But, maybe you could ask your current supervisor to do some sort of hybrid thing?" (again, the dum-dumb voice)

Hubby: "Oh.  Um, okay.  I guess so." 

Um, talk about gaslighting!!  There is zero way she "forgot" about their conversation, as she talked to the head of HR and remembered doing so LOL  Oh geezus, I hate hate hate when people act like they don't remember things that they clearly do.  Now, sometimes people don't, but you can tell the difference.  And this woman?  Was lying out her ass.  That's such a narcissistic behavior and the funny part is that they all think we buy it!  And we just don't.  Because those of us who know better, see this as a HUGE red flag for narcissism.  

She was trying to make it sound like my husband was asking for a handout, when it was her idea that they create a job for him in this program.  He had no idea if there were already jobs, so that's why he was asking.  He didn't ask anyone to make one for him.  But she offered and acted like it was an amazing thing and got his hopes up.  Oh, and by the way, did I mention she's 22 years old?  Yeah.  That made it even worse LOL

Sorry 22 year olds, but he's almost 40 and to have a kid (who's younger than our oldest child) fuck him around like this just makes it that much worse.  Though, at the time, we had no idea she was that young.

Well, he got over it quickly, as my hubby didn't join the program to work with her and wasn't even thinking about getting a job in that department to begin with.  His goal is HR, which he'd be amazing at (he went to school for HR during the pandemic after he was laid off from the ambulance place).  So that's still his goal and since he's up for being able to move up soon, he's actively looking for HR jobs at his work (and outside of his work, too, but he knows ALL the HR people at his work, due to the sustainability program, and he'd like to stay there if he can).  

Also know, that his career is always his choice, and all of this stuff is his idea.  I don't know why I feel the need to add this in, but many wives control their husbands and make them feel like they always have to be making more money and I am soooooo not like that.  As long as my hubby is happy, I don't care what he does :) 

But anyways, the moral of the story here is always look a gift horse in the mouth.  ALWAYS.  Because most gift horses are offered by narcissists and they will rip those gifts away before those gifts come to fruition.  It's happened to me so many times, and to my hubby and kids, too.  And it makes for a life filled with disappointment.  So remember this, if you remember nothing else from this post (or really, it's the only thing to remember from this post) ALWAYS LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH!  Always, always, always!!!  

That way you can expect the worst, and hopefully get the best.  And if you don't, then you won't be disappointed.  

This is how I've learned to live my life.  And this time?  We weren't that disappointed.  Just annoyed.  

Here is a picture that depicts this for you.  You may think at first they're real, but alas, they are masks.  Fucking gift horses and their dirty little mouths.