I recently learned about this, having never have heard of this in my entire life before.  But it shed so much light on people's behavior that it has literally changed my life.  Here is the video: 

Anyways, so yesterday, Mr. Brooks and I were in the garage cleaning it out and my next door neighbor came up and asked us to watch her dog again.  Now, we let him out a lot whenever they are not home, and he's old and blind and boring and easy to take outside.  He's a good little boy and I do not mind doing this for them, as I love dogs.  But this time, she really crossed the line.  

She asked us to do the same thing, but for two whole fucking weeks.  

Are you kidding me right now?  Who even does that?  I am not her family.   I am not even her friend.  I am her next door neighbor who barely speaks to her unless it's just say a nice "Hi there!  Isn't the weather great today?" sort of thing.  But she's always asking me to do stuff for her.  

Scratch that, she also gives us free food from the neighbor down the street that works for the local food pantry supply and when he gets an overage of food, he gives it out to neighbors.  And she always gives me (and other neighbors) her overages.  So, it's not like she's traveling for this food, she just has too much and hands it out to all sorts of people around here.  Though I wonder...does she hand pick who she gives it to in order to call in favors later?  

See, I am responsible, which is why she always calls on me.  I always go and take care of her dog when I am supposed to.  Even with a pounding migraine, I will get my ass up and do it, because I am not going to make a dog suffer just because I feel like balls.  And this is what she sees in me.  I am a reliable, and overly nice person who lives very close to her who she can trust with her dog.  And she's one of those finicky people who think taking care of her pet is a very complicated thing, as though they are precious cargo who can't tolerate change or whatever.  She reminds me of my mother-in-law with their fucking cat.  "Oh, don't give her French fries!!!  She will die!"  In my defense, I didn't give the cat French fries, she stole them from me.  And yes, she did die, but not until many years later.  But I am sure that's why they don't like me...thinking I murdered their cat with delicious cheese fries (in fact, she stole them from my container and then raced up the Christmas tree and knocked it over with fries hanging out of her mouth--it was quite amazing to see, as she was elderly at the time).  But these people like this, are so fucking particular about their pets, as though they need to be treated with special gloves and special treats and special foods, even though they aren't sick.  It's fucking retarded.  I have four dogs and they are fine eating whatever and whenever I feed them (which I grew up in a home where there was just dog food out all the time, and so I do the same thing, and none of my dogs are obese--okay one is, but not from overeating).  Now, I am not saying everyone should be a dog or cat owner like I am, it's just that that whole being "particular" business feels like the whole "golden child" bullshit narcissists dole out to the humans around them.  And most of the time with these pets?  It is.  It's exactly that.  "Treat my pet in a particular way or he will die!!"  

So, now I have to find a way to tell her no while being direct and nice.  Because the old me, before knowing about ask culture vs. guess culture would have made an excuse and been angry at her for making me lie to her.  Stupid, right?  But that's guess culture!  We are the type who believe that outright asking for something out of bounds is just plain rude.  So we don't do it.  Guess how many times I've asked a neighbor for a favor or to borrow something?  ZERO.  And now guess how much my neighbors have always asked of me, no matter where we've lived?  TOO MUCH.  And I usually say yes, which is dumb, but that's also guess culture.  We either say yes or we lie to get out of it.  But ask culture (though I am wondering if this means "aka narcissists" because I have never had a non-narcissistic neighbor ask a favor of me) thinks "What's the hurt in asking?"  Even though it's completely out of bounds to do so.  Like, asking me to take care of YOUR freaking dog in YOUR freaking home, for TWO FREAKING WEEKS.  It's not like I don't already have four dogs, 500 cats, and humans to take care of, but let's add your little senile old dog to the mix, too!  Now, I would not mind if he were staying at my house.  But leaving your dog home alone all night for two weeks is a total dick move.  Doesn't she have family to help her out??  

Well, no matter what it is, I am going to find a way to say no.  Another reason is that she wants me and the dickheaded girl next door on my other side to "coordinate" together on this.  I don't like her.  She's rude as fuck.  She has pretty pronounced aspergers and the reason why this other neighbor said her and I need to coordinate is that the other girl, oh, how did she put it? Oh yeah "Isn't all there in the head".  Wow.  I corrected her and said "Well, she has autism."  And she just shrugged, as though she could not give less of a fuck.  Dick.  I have autism, too, as do my kids and hubby, so fuck right off neighbor.  But people are so stupid and have no idea how to think outside of themselves and their own experiences.  Then again, I can be like that, too.  I think we all can.  But that doesn't mean it's any less stupid.  But it also doesn't mean that my neighbor with autism isn't a dick.  She's a total dick.  And I refuse to let her have my telephone number or to try to "coordinate" shit with her.  I don't like her.  And we're not friends.  She's judgmental, rude, and annoying.  And I know she will just take over the entire thing anyways, even though she can't take care her own damn dogs (her dogs are cute though, so know that I do not hold her behavior against them).  

Anyways, here is what I came up with to tell her when or if she brings it up again: 

• Hey, listen, I don't think she's responsible enough next door to be taking care of your dog that long and I am just way too busy, so I think you'd be better off finding a family member to take him for the entire time.  Someone you know and trust.  And he'd be happier having someone with him at night, rather than being home alone all night long.  I see how worried he gets when you two are gone for several hours.  I think it's just a better option all the way around to find someone he can actually stay with.  

UPDATE: I'm going to lie to her.  Ugh.  I can't find the words to stand up for myself and just say no.  So I'm going to tell them I'm working at home as a customer service rep and I don't have time to watch her dog.  Like, ever again.  She asks me way too frequently to watch him when she's gone and I am sick and tired of being the person everyone thinks will just do shit for them.  Do you know how many times I've asked my neighbors for a favor?  ZERO.  Not once.  Not even to borrow something.  And I would NEVER EVER trust any of them to come into my house when I'm not home and watch my pets.  Unless we were friends.  But I've never made friends with my neighbors (though once we really did try) because they all suck.  No thanks.  I think that asking your neighbor WHO IS NOT YOUR FRIEND to always watch your dog is just assholey.  Never again.  I'm tired of being taken advantage of.