And I think that's what narcissistic rage is.  In fact, I know it is.  The differences are that a) most RSD doesn't last long (but it can, if you don't do the work to stop it) and b) narcs have no idea how to stop it, so they take it to the biggest level they can.  Narcissistic rage comes on after we defy them or disagree with them or get angry with them or stand up for ourselves, etc.  And by us telling them they are wrong (even if we're not, it feels that way for them), they view it as an attack on them, even though we may mean nothing by it at all.  Their shame, their unending, unyielding, bottomless pit of shame gets triggered and then the rage happens to protect them from feeling that shame.  

I think the sociopathic stare is the same thing.  I think it's their shame welling up, and they are trying to get a handle on it, so they do nothing but stare.  My mother does this a lot.  And then, when they come out of that little trance, they usually react with screaming or tantrums or threats.  Or she ignores me.  

Anyways, I think that's it.  

And RSD has to do with ADHD, but here are my thoughts on this: what if it's not?  Black and white thinking can affect people with ASD and narcissists and those with borderline personality disorder.  Issues like these are not just a "one size fits all" thing.  They can overlap easily.  I see so many traits that align people with ASD and narcissism.  But not all people with ASD are narcs.  But what if all narcs had ASD?  Most of the ones I know have both.  My ex, his mom, his sister, my birth-grandma, my aunt (birth), my mom's BFF Christmas, the ding-dong next door, and so many more.  They all have very clear ASD and very clear NPD.  I don't know, it's just an observation.  That's all.  But ADHD definitely has to do with ASD (I think ASD is the real issue and ADHD is a part of it), which lends more to my theory about NPD being correlated with ASD, as RSD (so many freaking acronyms, sorry!) is most definitely the cause of narcissistic rage, and it's supposedly only associated with ADHD.  

Well, that was a mouthful.  

Anyways, I think I get it.  I think get the knee-jerk anger reactions that narcs get, because I see it in my oldest son, who has moderate ADHD, and he's not a narcissist.  I can clearly see the same line of thinking.  BUT my son can calm down pretty quickly if we figure out exactly what's bothering him about what I said.  But a narc can't.  They can't listen to reason.  They have an inability to see anything other than through the lens of them being a victim.  There is no grey area (black and white thinking, ya'll).  So, they won't listen no matter how hard you try to explain yourself.  And they fucking love it.  It's addictive, that drama.  And they live for it.  People with ADHD also thrive on drama because it lights up the pre-frontal cortex of their brain (which feels good).  Which is why kids with ADHD can be so destructive or busy or argumentative.  But maybe it does that in narcs, too?  I have no idea.  Many of the overt narcs I know seem to have ADHD and almost all of the coverts I know have ASD (though some of those still seem to have ADHD, too).  I have no idea if there is a correlation, but maybe.  Again, not all people with ADHD or ASD are narcs.  I have both of these things, which is why I know a lot about both (because I research things until I wear them out).  Actually, both my kids and my hubby and I all have both.  My ex does, too, but he is a narc.  

I don't know.  I think someone should look into this if they haven't already.  I will search it and see what comes up.  But if you know of any info on this, please share it with me, because I am interested in learning more.  

Well, would you look at that: 

I will say that nobody really liked her article as it does have a thousand flaws in it.  But at least someone else is thinking along the same lines.  Though remember, I do not think that all people with ASD are narcissists or that NPD is on the ASD spectrum.  But, like I said, I never met a narc who didn't seem to have ASD.  At least not the covert ones.  Though ex-MIL is an overt one and has ASD, as does her daughter, my ex-SIL.  My now SIL has lower-functioning ASD and is not a narc.  But her mother has higher functioning ASD and is a total narc.  As does my BIL, her son.  (mother-in-law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law)

So, my conclusion is that I have no idea.  Other than RSD being at the core of narcissistic rage.  Because that's plain as day.  And to understand something takes it power away.  It doesn't have to control you if you get where it's coming from.  Also, it will help you predict it before it happens so you can stay away from hot triggers.  But sometimes they're unavoidable.  All I can say about that is to stop letting it scare you and eventually, it will lessen.  I stopped reacting to my mother's rage, and now she never throws a fit anymore.  I can't remember the last time it happened.  

So yeah, take my correlation between ASD and NPD with a grain of salt.  I am just thinking on the screen here.  Do your own research.  Learn about ASD, everything you can about it, and see if the idea matches up with the narcs you know, too.  Just like Sesame Street has always told us to be aware: 

Don't you wish it was that easy, though?  "Flip the flaps to find out!"  Life would be so much easier if we had a narc manual that listed all the narcissists in our lives.   So, make one yourself.  

Anyways, those are my crazy ideas for today.  More to come later, because I am full of crazy ideas.