Her: Oh god, did you buy coffee?  I hope so!  *she squints her eyes*  I am even getting a a withdrawal headache from not having caffeine!

Me: *I squinted back at her*  Really?  You're telling me you're getting a headache from not having any caffeine today?

Her: *squints even harder and raises her hand to her head*  Oh yes!  It's so bad!

Me: *laughs...pretty hard*  Mother, you haven't had caffeine in over 6 months!!  I buy you decaf!  So how on earth can you have a headache?

Her: *immediately straightens up and acts normal and puts on a creepy smile*  OH, I can tell! 

Me: *knowing she thinks she's playing a game that she thinks she's winning*  You do realize you TOLD me to give you decaf, right?  You told me to switch you out around 6 months ago due to the fact your doctor said you need to stop drinking it.  So, it's not like I was tricking you.  

I mean, I was tricking her.  And it worked.  Just like I trick her by giving her diet soda when she wants soda.  She's diabetic and asks for soda and juice and whatever.  And I buy her diet and take the labels off because she says that diet tastes like "prune juice".  YET, she has no sense of taste or smell.  Once, I left the label on and she refused to drink it.  But she sure loves her label-less soda!!  

Oh, and I know decaf has a mild amount of caffeine in it, but she had an entire pot of coffee on her counter full (she puts her coffee in a carafe that keeps it warm), so there was no way she had a headache over not having any, as she still has some in her carafe right now.  The funny part is that she thought she'd take me down a peg by saying "Oh, I can tell!" as though I didn't pull the wool over her eyes.  But SHE'S the one who told me to give her decaf.  She just forgot!!  And I knew she forgot, too, which is why I kept it a secret from her.  

So, if she "could tell" it was decaf, then why the theatrics about having a withdrawal headache?  She wasn't joking.  She was playing it up real good, acting like everything was hurting her head.  The moment I said it was decaf, that pain magically went away and she acted completely normal until going to bed.  

Hahahahaha!  I love catching her in a lie AND I love that she never realized (though she knew at first) that she was getting decaf!  HA!  Watch, now she'll forget all over again.  Oh, and this isn't her dementia.  It's 100% her narcissism.  As she's always been like this, conveniently "forgetting" things when they don't suit her narrative.  She's a caffeinated black-coffee addict!  And decaf doesn't fit into that narrative.  So she promptly forgot about it.  

What a freaking weirdo.