So, my mother asked me to buy her expensive facial moisturizer.  I bought her Ponds instead.  I don't see the reason to buy expensive stuff, especially for someone with skin that doesn't need help.  She's old and pockmarked with acne scars.  And she doesn't actually wash her face that much.  Like, ever.  So, the need for moisturizer doesn't make sense to me at all, but to buy one that costs so much money is just plain silly.  

But see, my mother has ideas.  These ideas get stuck in her head.  And she thinks because they are her ideas, they are truth.  As a person with ASD, I get it.  But as a frugal person taking care of someone with narcissism, I don't honestly care.  Rude, I know.  But she is more than just rude to me.  So I don't care.  I will never be mean (not on purpose).  But rude?  Sure!  Though, usually I am not rude to her face, just internally.

So, her ideas go like this: 

• I will die without caffeine! (she thinks she thrives on coffee and can't drink anything else, not even water).  So, one day, after her doctor told her she had to quit caffeine I switched her to decaf and she never noticed.  Not even once.  Not until she pretended to have a migraine due to caffeine withdrawal because she ran out of coffee and I laughed at her.  Okay, I was rude that day to her face.  But it was ridiculous.  She was really playing it up, too.  Holding her head, moaning, pretending like someone who was acting like they had a headache.  But the minute I told her it was decaf, she perked right up and was completely fine.  How miraculous!
• I have only ever used that brand and will only ever use that brand until the day I die! (she thinks if she uses something other than what she normally uses, she will not only hate it, but it won't work at all--this goes for soap, beauty products, etc.)  This is in reference to her face cream, but also her hand cream and everything else she uses.  She REFUSES to try other things unless I force her.
• Diet soda tastes like prunes and I hate it!  (she's diabetic and refuses to drink anything diet--she says they ALL taste like prune juice, yet she doesn't have a sense of taste).  So, I buy her diet soda and rip off the parts that say "ZERO" on the label.  If I can't, I rip off the entire label.  She's never once caught on.  And she never complains about the taste.  This cracks me up.  And she still doesn't know.
• I will only eat at one restaurant and one restaurant only! (though she would ask you which one you'd like to eat at on your birthday but still only take you to the one she prefers)  She doesn't do this anymore, as we stopped eating out with her years ago due to her bad behavior.
• I am right.  And you are wrong no matter what, because I think I am right! (she cannot and will not accept anyone else's answer to anything if she thinks she's right...though sometimes if you push hard enough she will back down, but not always).  The funny part is that she is always wrong.
• I could go on with all sorts of asinine things, but I will leave it at these for now, but more may come later.