Here are her two birthday cards: 

Now, this card is from me and my hubby.  It's really special to me because back in 2013 when I found out she had NPD (when this blog started), she went to our family reunion and told my entire family that she didn't know why I had never achieved anything with my life.  See, my family is full of high-achievers and by claiming that I am a loser, it takes the heat off of her.  Because I had (and have since) achieved plenty with my life.  But not her.  The only thing my mother has ever done with her life is gossip.  And that's it.  By saying I was the one who was the loser, she thought she could look like less of a loser herself.  Well, now she has a birthday card that is reminding of that.  Granted, she won't see it that way.  She won't be hurt by it.  I didn't buy it to hurt her.  I bought it because it's hilarious to me.  She will think it's sweet and nice.  And that's what I want.  Unlike her, I am not an asshole who likes to hurt people on purpose.  

Here is the card from my kids: 

This one makes me laugh harder than a hyena at John Mulaney stand-up show.  Sounds like a narcissist's curse, doesn't it?  "You deserve a day that's as happy as you are wonderful!"  *gigglesnort*  But I will give her a better day than that.  Because, like I said, I am not an asshole.  But I also don't go out of my way to make it super awesome either.  Though this year she will have a HUGE box full of gifts to open (that I got at various resale shops), so that should make her happy.  And I am making a special dinner, too.  

My birthday is a week from today.  I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO grateful she cannot be in charge of it or shop anymore.  I can finally enjoy my birthday again at age 46.  Granted, last year was nice, too, but only because of the same reasons.   

Well, let's hope she's not a bitch today.  Or next week, either.  But we'll see.