It's been quiet around here.  The weather has been gorgeous, with some hot days thrown in.  Mother has been a little bitchy, here and there, but ever since she talked shit about my husband mowing (did I write about that on here?  I am pretty sure I did) this summer to her BFF Christmas, she's mostly been behaving.  Externally, that is.  Though one day, after several days of me forgetting to put her cigarettes out at night, she got pissed and yelled at my son "I don't know why I can't just go get them myself!!".  Meaning to barge in MY room in the middle of the night and take them, even though she has no idea where they are, or if they're even made (if you're new here, I make her cigarettes, because it's 10x+ cheaper).  She knocked on my door at 3 am one night, and woke up my fucking dogs, who started screaming, and then called me on the phone, which was just as fucking loud as the dogs barking.  I was already getting them for her when she called, so I marched out and chucked them onto the counter and said "Thanks for waking us all up!" and marched back to my room.  I was pissed.  

Cigarettes are not a need.  They are a want.  And I used to smoke.  So, I know this.  I could go many hours without them if I had to.  But my mother thinks her wants are more important than people's sleep and I can go months and months and ever forget to put them out, then 3 nights in a row (oops) I do, and now she's completely an asshole about it.  

She could just quit.  But she's dead against quitting.  I did, however, whittle her down to 13 cigarettes a day, instead of a whole pack, which is 20.  I've tried to go below 13, but she won't have it.  At least 13 is better than 20.  Well, at least for the bank account.  Not for her health.  

But other than that fiasco, everything has been quiet.  Goodness knows she won't stay quiet if she feels the need to be disruptive.  But luckily, she hasn't lately.  

My hubby may be going back to work soon.  Which sucks.  I do not do well when he's away for long periods of time.  But we'll see what happens.  I hope after all this, he knows that he can take time off and still have a job when he wants to go back and hopefully he'll take advantage of that.  I also have been using all this time I've not been blogging by making items for my store.  And it's not been easy.  I get on a roll, get sick, have to take a break, then my mojo has been broken so it's hard to get back to it.  But I am not quitting this time.  I haven't yet, and it's not been easy.  But that's what it takes to make a go of things.  You can't just give up and not do it and think you gave it a fair shake.  You have to push hard, even when you feel you can't.  No, I don't mean I work when I am sick.  I mean I don't let getting sick stop me.  I get sick, I take a break to let my body fix itself, and I go right back at it.  The problem is that I am creating different items in my store, so it feels like I am neglecting one set of items to work on another.  But eventually I'll have enough items to list.  Right now I have one thing listed on Etsy, and it's got almost no views.  I am switching platforms.  Not because of that, but because Etsy sucks.  And there is a new ground floor opportunity to get in on instead.  I just need enough items to open my store.  

Here is the issue: I make the items.  I am good at that.  But then I have to take pictures, make videos, pick music, and market.  I am bad at those things.  My son was helping me, but then he got busy.  So, I need to figure out how I can do all this and still keep my sanity.  I really freaking hate all that extra crap.  I love creating items.  I just can't do all that other crap on top of it.  

AND then we have my group.  I am starting a local group that meets in person which is centered on healing your high ACE score.  It's free, but it will take donations.  From this group, I will do two things: 1) build a good healing circle program for others to follow--either I will teach it or put it in a book (or I will make the next circle paid, though I am not sure I want to put effort into 2 circles or more, though I may have to) and 2) I will find people to join my Tribe.  

My goal for a tribe is to come together, be like-minded, and be a second family for each other.  Not all people in my healing circle will be in my family's tribe, but that's where I want to find people to create it.  So, I am creating my healing circle on top of creating my store (and running my household).  Sigh.  I am overwhelmed, but both things are necessary for my family's future.  I need to make money and we need family and friends outside of the home.  I am also writing a book on tribe building (though not at this direct moment, I am taking a break to concentrate on my store--though it's partially already done). I am also a licensed life coach, and this circle is how I want to use my knowledge and title (though what is that title? LOL).  

I feel so jumbled in my head with all of this.  I need to make mind maps to keep it all straight.  I think I will do that next, as that's the easiest way to organize my thoughts and ideas.  

I am so glad my mother isn't adding to my chaos right now.  Thank goodness.  She will, eventually, but for now, I am just being grateful she's being goodish.  Hubby is getting pizza right now, as I am stuck in bed with my back acting up (when I need to be sewing!).  I hope all is well for you, dear reader.  And I hope this summer is finding you in both good health and less chaos.  Until next time.