Today my mother's BFF came over again.  She called to come over yesterday, but I decided last time that she can't call the me the DAY OF and ask to come over, she needs to call at least a day before.  So, I told her no, my kids could be sick and we'd have to wait until tomorrow (today) to see if they are sick or not.  It's not a total lie, our allergies are out of control right now, all of us, and we all have been sneezing and crap.  But still, I lied because I need to inform her now we need to make plans in the middle of the week instead, but I didn't want to go into that with her on the spot.  I am hoping this will be clear to her that she can't just call and ask to come over.  I have to clean up before she comes and now, due to our new management protocols (me, I am the management), I have to go to the grocery store and get a coffee cake before she comes, because Mummy isn't allowed to have friends over alone anymore.  

Well, last week, she thought it was a one-time thing, but today she realized this is the new protocol and she isn't liking it.  But before we moved in here, I was a part of their visits.  So, I am making myself a part of their visits again, because when I am not there, my mother will use her time to talk shit about me.  I am am tired of it.  Granted, it should not matter, but she lives in this house and I am stuck with her and I don't need to be disrespected in my own house (she says as she proceeds to have 10 years worth of blogs about her mother).  

Anyways, so mother realized this was the new normal and decided to try to really irk me.  She started saying things that she damn well knew was the same shit she does, just to see how I'd react.  I said nothing, but my husband, who was washing dishes, chimed in and said "Oh wow, I can't believe she did that!  Isn't that terrible when someone does that kind of stuff?"  He was referring to my mother, and it was all I could do to not laugh. Every time she said something snappy or rude about someone we knew who did the same things she did to me, my hubby would chime in with a fake voice and overact and be funny about it.  And he said later "The best part about it was that it went over both of their heads!"  And I agree LOL  

I love that he comes to my defense, because it was really bothering me, the things she was saying, and not only hurting my feelings, but making me really angry.  At one point she made a joke about my cousin being forced to drink beer as a small child, because he had accidentally ruined his father's beer, so his dad forced him to drink it.  So I said "Oh, and now my cousin has been an alcoholic just like his father for his entire adult life, so now we know where it started."  She shut up about it after that.  

Then, we were sitting there, chatting and listening to the hens cackle at each other, and I had the radio on.  And what song came on?  But the song that came on the day my mother slapped me in the face in 2006 and I called 911, and they didn't answer, so I went into my car and that song came on (which has my name in it).  THEN another song with my name in it came on...and the theme of that song is pretty hilarious compared the situation I was in in that moment.  I can't tell you subject matter or the names of either, as you'll know my real name, but trust me, it was all I could do again to keep a straight face.  

If I were a person who believed in signs?  I'd think that first song was a reminder that my mother will never change.  And the second was just to make me laugh.  

But then Christmas is ready to go home and I go to move her car, and instead of going in, my mother stands at her car for fifteen fucking minutes, BLOCKING ME from seeing or talking to Christmas (though it didn't stop me), which was her old self creeping up, doing her whole "body blocking" bullshit she'd do at the doctor's or when the cops came (when my idiot cousins called them to check on my mother's welfare, even though they knew she was fine), and I thought for a moment, maybe that song was a sign after all?  Maybe it's a nice little warning that maybe nothing will ever change as long as I have her in my life?  Well, until we get some money, there is no way to go anywhere, so there is nothing I can do about it.  

But since this is such a big ordeal, an undertaking if you will, I will have Christmas only come over every other week, or even less than that.  Every week is just too damn much.  I can't tolerate any of this shit more than that.  Plus, I don't want coffee cake every damn week, but I have to have it for them, so that way I can make it be, at least for now, the reason I am there at all.  

Why, oh, why did I ever let her visit with her alone??  I should have always been a part of it.  

Another thing I need to clear up with her is that we have to ALWAYS sit inside when she comes over, because I can't stand the cigarette smoke and I am not going to be told to just stay in when they go out.  That's NOT happening.  So, I need to make it clear we're always going to be inside.  Or else she can't come over.  

Sigh.  So much work for something so freaking stupid.  I can't wait until none of this matters anymore.