Yesterday, she didn't speak to me all day.  I assume she was either mad because of my note back to her or because she thought I was mad at her, and she was embarrassed.  I am mad at her.  But not actively.  I am just never not mad at her.  And her past actions just added to the already growing pit of idiocy that draws me further and further away from her.  I find it harder and harder to be cordial to her.  I mean, I am nice, but I no longer joke around with her or use a pleasant tone of voice with her.  Today, she was yakking my ear off because I bought her a bottle of fucking FIFTEEN DOLLAR hand creme and she was ecstatic.  I figured, she paid for it, so what do I care how much it costs?  If I had to pay for it, I would NOT have bought that brand.  But she's particular about her brands and doesn't really ask for much in the way of things like this (other than facial moisturizer, which I refused to buy for her--oh I bought her some, but I bought her the same kind I use, not the FIFTEEN DOLLAR brand she wanted).  So this time I gave in and just did it.  It better last her all winter.  If not, she's getting a cheaper brand next time. 

I don't regret giving her the note.  But I do need to search her room and find it (she has a doc appointment soon, I can do that) and throw it away.  If not, she will hold onto that shit forever.  The year I went no contact with her (2017), I gave her a Mother's Day card and wrote in it what she deserved.  Instead of throwing it away, she put it out with all her other cards and showed every single person who came into her house.  Sigh.  I mean, it was all about how she physically attacked me and I had to call the police on her, and she had ZERO shame about it.  She just wanted people to think I was a jerk...little did she know SHE looked like the abusive jerk by letting people know what she did to me.  So completely insane.  So, that's why I need to find this note and get rid of it, too.  Because who knows what she'll save it for (most likely to re-read for narcissistic supply later on).  But I don't regret writing it, as she deserved to know exactly how little I think of her.  AND she deserves to know exactly how much I know she lies to me.  She lives in her own little world and today has apparently forgotten everything, but I don't care.  It was worth writing her back after what she did.  

Anyways, tomorrow is Halloween and it's calling for snow and freezing temps, so I am GLAD I cancelled outdoor decorating for Halloween (after being sick all month).  I was going to tape off the driveway, but I may not have to.  I just wish it was a weekend so my hubby would be off.  Oh well, I will hopefully get to do stuff with my kids (though they are always busy with their friends, so we'll see).  Mother doesn't really care about Halloween as a holiday, so maybe she'll be good.  We'll see.

I will be making pumpkin bread tomorrow, along with some other type of festive something or other.  I do have pumpkin spiced chai we'll be drinking with our pumpkin bread.  I am going to put on some of those ambient Autumnal videos on the TVs and maybe we can play some sort of board game (we have so many!).  That sounds like fun.  Though my oldest has his weekly D&D game from 12-4, but maybe we'll do some before and some after.  Definitely want to watch 5 Nights at Freddy's with them.  We are ex-pagans who still sometimes celebrate Samhain, and we've lost three dogs this year, so I am going to plan on doing something for them, too (like create a little doggie altar).  

I also started a new book, so much of the day may be spent reading that.  

I hope your Halloween will be fun, even if you can't do anything due to the weather.  

Let's just hope Ye Olde Seahag is a good girl and stays nice.  But she's unpredictable so you never know.  But she has her new lotion, so she should be happy the rest of the week (ha!).