I woke up with another migraine today.  That's the second in a week or so.  I haven't had a migraine in months and now two in a short period of time.  Very annoying.  Being around my mother doesn't help.  If I have a migraine, and she bothers me while my head hurts, she will do whatever she can to make it worse.  She's even hit me in my head several times in the past when she knew I had a migraine.  But usually she's just loud on purpose. Well, today, and the last one I had, I avoided being around her at all while my head hurt.  BUT, today, I did as I usually do when I have a migraine and shushed her.  But today it wasn't about me.  It was about my son who was sleeping in his room (our living room--his room used to be in the basement, but it flooded so bad that it molded his $400 bed and we had to move him into the living room and buy him a new bed) right by the door where she was being loud at.  So I said "Ssshh" with my finger to my lips.  So she asks "Why?" really loudly.  I said "Because he's sleeping" as I pointed to the door.  She yelled "GOOD FOR HIM!"  So I got on my pissy face and shushed her again and said "Be quiet!"  "Oh, he can't hear me!" she bellowed.  I replied "Yes he can, he's a light sleeper, be quiet!!" Then she whispered and went outside to smoke.  

None of this would have happened if I had just done what I normally do and avoid her.  I will hear her door open or the outside door open (from her out smoking) and I will dart into the other room.  And today, I decided I wasn't going to let her kick me out from cooking dinner.  But alas, I was wrong.  I should have just avoided her.  

I talk to her throughout the day.  I avoid her while I cook because she sees me as trapped and will keep talking to me as though I have nothing better to do than listen to her ramble on about whatever stupid thing is in her head.  And so much of what she says is fake anyways, like "Oh god, I hope you didn't go to the shop and pick up these books just for little old me!!" (even though she asked me to) or "Oh I need this or that and even though you just bought me this or that, I don't like the ones you bought me so I need new ones!"  Blah blah blah.  Yeah, it's irritating and she usually REEKS like cigarette smoke while she's rambling, too, so I always have to ask her to leave.  It just gets so damn old after all this time, the same old shit.  The rambling.  The asking for stuff.  The bothering me immediately after she smokes.   

Another thing she recently asked me was to come look at something on her computer for my son's birthday which is in a week.  But then she added, as an afterthought, like she always does "And I also wanted to order something for myself, too."  Of course she does.  

She always uses other people's birthdays to get stuff for herself.  Always.  So,  I looked through her search history and found nothing.  Not a single website to buy things on, so I have no idea what she's even talking about.  

But, I have a plan.  If she asks about my son's birthday, I will say "I am getting you scratch tickets to give to him, like you do for everyone, every year."  And if she says "Oh, can you pick me up some, too?", which she always does, I will giggle and say two things that need to be said. 

One will be: "Do you remember when you told Goose (her husband who died in 2010) that YOU started the whole 'unbirthday' gift giving that I do with my kids?  That you started it because I was such an impatient child that I could not stand watching you get gifts on your birthday, which was only a week before mine, that you had to give me a gift on your birthday to keep me quiet?  Which was a total lie because I started 'unbirthday' gifts with MY kids because their birthdays are four months apart and I felt bad that one kid got all the gifts and the other had none, so I would spend no more than $20 on the 'unbirthday' brother, so they got to open a gift on their brother's birthday.  It had nothing to do with being impatient and being jealous, as you made it out to be.  It was my own invention because I was the one who felt bad.  Do you remember that?  Lying to Goose about it like that?  Well, I think YOU'RE the impatient one because whenever you buy someone else a gift, you have to get yourself one.  It's kind of crazy, don't you think?  That you lied to him about me being impatient, which nothing is further from the truth--I was never impatient or jealous of you and you never did that with me and frankly, you even thought it was stupid when I made that up with my own kids.  But rather than tell Goose the truth about it being my idea that you eventually jumped on and joined in on, you felt the need to not only make up a complete and total lie to him, you told me about it as though it was the truth!  And you're actually the jealous impatient one who needs gifts on other people's birthdays because you can't stand other people getting a day of glory to themselves.  Which is why you used to take us out every year for our birthdays and never let us decide where to go, YOU always got to pick the restaurants.  Well, until I put a stop to it after that last time." 

And the second part will be: "And why would I give you scratch tickets ever again?  After what you pulled with Christmas?  Using your scratch ticket money to go behind my back and buy medicine for the cats that you have no idea how to use and will end up hurting them with it?  You didn't even ask me to give the cats medicine, you just lied to Christmas and said that I wouldn't and that I, oh, how did you put it?  I only take care of my own cats and don't do anything for yours?  Which is total bullshit, by the way.  I don't allow you to brush the cats or give them meds because a) you are cruel and mean to them and exactly how did both your cat and my cat get blood blisters on their stomachs anyways??  Did YOU pull out a knot on their fur or maybe cut their skin will scissors??  This is why I don't allow you to do things for the animals.  And the ear mite meds you wanted in your cat's ears, how on earth were you going to put it in their ears when it takes two people do it?  And did you know that it takes an exact number of drops in each ear for so long or else it won't work?  I have only ever seen you in my life just give a HUGE SQUIRT of ear mite meds in the cats' ears and then you just give up after once or twice  That's why your cats always had ear infections!  You always made it worse!  You act like you know what you're doing, but you have no idea, and never have!   And this is why you're not getting anymore cash or scratch tickets again.  I can't trust you.  You act like a little bratty teenager who's always complaining about the powers that be, yet you can't understand the rules are there for a reason!   So, no.  I will not buy you scratch tickets.  Plus, it's not your birthday and you're not an actual child, no matter how much you act like one, so you don't get unbirthday gifts.  Don't ask me again."  

Okay, we'll see how much of either one of these I actually say to her.  But I will try.  I definitely want to say the second part, but the first part will only happen if I am feeling saucy!  But the second part definitely needs to be addressed.  I cannot not only let her get away with what she did, but I also need to her to understand that it cannot happen again.  I need her to understand that this behavior will not be tolerated.  And if I have to, I will let her know that if she can't follow the rules, then we can start getting rid of cats.  Granted, I most likely will not do that, but I have thought about it.  Quite a bit, actually.  But then I see them and realize they each have a piece of my heart and I can't just give them away.  Most of them are so old.  But she can't keep hurting them just because I don't get to them in the manner in which she wants.  

Again, I don't want to be in charge of everything, but I freaking have to be.  Otherwise, when you let her be in charge of anything?  She not only fucks it up, but hurts someone, whether it be people or animals.  My dog (who passed away in January) used to LOVE to be brushed.  But then last summer, after my mother got a hold of her with her brush, my dog was terrified of being brushed.  It took forever to get her to allow me to brush her again without her trying to run away.  She used to LOVE to be brushed and bathed and groomed and then I had to actually work with her for months to get her comfortable with it again.  It's frustrating to have to always clean up her messes.  She's too old to be so freaking clueless.  And she's been this way her entire life, but now I am the one in charge of her so I have to clean up after her.  Before nobody did, not even my dad, so she was left to run amuck and boy did she run amuck.  Sigh.  And now my job is to keep her from running amuck.  And that's damn near impossible.  Well, it's better, but she still slips through the cracks (mostly because of her BFF Christmas who's a bigger idiot than her).  

Well, my son's birthday is next week and Monday starts his birthday week, so I have to plan some fun stuff for him and hopefully not have to worry about Ye Olde Seahag for now.