Yesterday was utterly gorgeous outside.  It was humid and 80 degrees, much too hot in the beginning of the day.  But then the wind came, the temperature dropped, and the humidity stayed.  So me and my kids and a dog went to the park and it was magnificent!  It was so beautiful and wonderful that I just wanted to spin around in the park, not caring if anyone saw me.  But a big huge wind gust came as I was making friends with a 100 year old tree (for real, it's 100 year old maple) and I just closed my eyes and spread my arms out, as though I was flying.  I felt so good.  

But before we left, I had started cleaning my room, and when I came home, even though we walked so much (and I had barely gotten out of been in two weeks), I felt amazing, and so I took on even more cleaning.  And more.  Then, by the end of the night, my body started to realize that I was completely insane and I started to fall apart.  All those magical feeling I was having went right in the toilet and I felt like a garbage dump.  Stupid, stupid me.  And today, I certainly paid for it.  

I finally have a clean(ish) room, but I couldn't get out of bed all day, with extreme fatigue (like sleep attacks) and horrible dizziness and very bad brain fog.  I couldn't make my brain do anything.  I couldn't think right, speak right, or even see right.  This happens to me, when I push myself too hard.  I am not sure if it's a type of migraine with no pain mixed with some POTS issues, or if it's just POTS.  But it was horrible.  

My brain started to clear up, as it usually does, as night fell.  But not completely.  And my mother found me watching TV with headphones on (my son sleeps in the living room, as his room flooded last year)  and bothered me to look at her eye.  

"I'll go see it in the kitchen, there's no light in here." 

"Here, just look."

"I'll go in the kitchen to see where there's light." 

"There's a light right there," she points at my lamp. 

I am VERY light sensitive when I feel like this, and that little light from the Dollar Tree is very bright.  I lied and said it didn't work.  So she gave up and just told me the long, long story about how her cat scratched her eye (not her eyeball, but her lid), even though it was literally a five-second story.  Why is she like this?  Everything that happens to her has to be this HUGE story, rather than just a "Hey, my cat scratched my eyelid!".  It's like, what is she getting out of it?  My attention?  Well, she doesn't have that, as I am usually wandering off in my mind because she takes so long to get to the point.  Usually she'll tell one person, then the next time she retells it, it gets fibbier and bigger and more crazy.  She'll add details, add characters, or add to the temperament of the person or animal doing the thing she's complaining about.  She's a true storyteller.  Granted, her stories are annoying and stupid, but she likes to think she's great at it.  I think she just likes the attention.  Always has.  Always will.  Yay us.

Well, she trotted off to bed after that, after going through my son's things, wandering through his room, even though he was going to bed and wanted her to leave (he didn't say it like that, but she knew).  And now I am left, at 8:13pm, not feeling well enough to make dinner, but my oldest son went to sleep and he's the only person who can drive other than my husband right now (my license is expired...oops!).  So, we can't go get anything.  Sigh.  I can't order delivery, as we live out in the boonies and most places don't deliver here.  And Walmart will, but they never show up on the right day, so I can't count on that.  Even if I order for 1-hour delivery!  I hate our Walmart.  They hire nothing but dumbasses who never deliver things right.  Not sure what to do.  We'll figure out something. 

So, I have to learn to not push myself so hard.  But if I don't do it all at once, it will never get done.  That's how I see it.  And now I have my work desk available to make more handmade journals to sell, so that's an amazing feat (it's not completely "clean", but "available", which means "good enough" in Shay-speak LOL).  But I guess in order to have what I need to function, I have to pay the price.  Which is annoying.  But as long as it doesn't last, I can take a day to rest if that means I get a nice payoff for it.  

I mean, I guess.  I wish I were normal, but I am not, so there it is.  So, here is a picture of my workspace.  It looks insane, but there is literally nowhere else to store any of these things I need to make what I make LOL This is not including my three-drawer cart that's down a bit closer to my door that holds all my other stuff I need, too.  And yes, it's a filter, I do not live in a cartoon and those things don't have faces on them.  But it's to pretend they do, right?  And that blue banana thing on the top?  Is a large gnome dressed in a black cat suit for Halloween from Dollar Tree (my kids keep calling him a "furry" haha).  

And that round thing on the left, that looks like a plate full of stuff is a wreath I'm working on LOL  This app is quite hilarious and makes your mess look like fun!  Yay!  It won't be this messy when I am working, but for now, it's storing stuff I need to put away (like those blue shopping bags where the one has a face on it).  

Well, that was my day today.  I hope tomorrow I'll remember to call the places I need to call and feel better while doing so.