"Hey Shay!  I have to tell you this.  Come here, come here!  Want to hear something funny?  I was out back today and your dog was running around the yard like he always does.  I was reading my book, so I wasn't paying too much attention, but then I looked up.  And did you know what I saw?  Your dog was floating!  The grass is so long that I couldn't even see his legs and he was floating across the grass!  Now you can't mow it because this is so much fun for me to watch!"  She told me this story approximately ten minutes after relaying the same exact story to my husband.  

This is how she bitches that the grass is too long.  To the untrained eye, it seems like a funny story.  But if you know her at all, you'd know this is how she bitches without getting into trouble.  She used to grouchy bitch every single day.  I yelled at her enough that she's stopped now, so instead, this is how she complains.  But then again, she's always complained like this, just in between the grouchy bitching.  She thinks it's "cute".  But we all can see right through her games. 

I guarantee you that the only reason she even said anything was because she heard me mowing the front yard.  She knew it wasn't my husband, because he was washing the dishes when she went out to smoke out back and heard the mower going (and I could even smell her disgusting smoke out front).  And she always has some kind of issue when someone else does chores around the house, especially outdoor chores.  She's so freaking weird about stuff.  

Anyways, that's my story for the day.  And that's how my mother lets you know that she thinks the grass is too long.  Or whatever else she wants to bitch that day.  It's always some convoluted storyline (I trimmed it down because I couldn't remember all what she had said) that goes on and on and on until she gets to the point.  It's also how she asks for something she wants, too.  It's so annoying.  When she does this when she's asking for something, I always say "Please get to the point.  I know you want something."  And she always does.  

Now I don't want to mow just to annoy her LOL  But I know that will just end up with her bitching to Christmas about how lazy we are (we have our reasons for not mowing lately, but narcs never think of that, they want to accuse you of being not good enough in their eyes).  

Oh and she did something else stupid today.  She raked up some crap and threw it in the middle of the yard.  I law down boxes as weed barriers in the places with no grass and they decompose and disintegrate.  She knows this.  But she raked up my cardboard and tossed it in the middle of the yard, as though I could mow over it.  Knowing that I can't, I can only assume she left it there for me to clean up.  So I did.  I raked that shit right back where she got it from.  So there.  My mother loves to get bored and "clean" things that don't need to be cleaned.  Fuck the stuff that actually needs cleaning!  Nope, she wants to clean things that have NO reason to be cleaned.  Inside the house and out.  So freaking annoying.  

Okay, off to clean the kitchen windows before she tries to do it.  Sigh.