The other day my mother asked me for vinegar.  I figured why, but I was in the middle of talking to my kids so I didn't get a chance to answer her.  Then she left a long note about how and why she wanted the vinegar, which is silly and weird (but totally like her) even though I am the person who cleans her coffee pot each month or so.  She knows damn well I will never give her my vinegar as it's like $4 a bottle and she will waste it on random things, which she loves to do.  Back in the day, vinegar was less than a $1 a bottle.  Now it's 3x the price.  So yeah, I safeguard that shit like gold.  I need it for cooking and cleaning, and she can't just be in charge of things like that.  

Anyways, I take the machine outside on our side porch, fill it full of vinegar, and let it run through.  I go back to my room and my mother comes knocking at my door, doing her fake-ass "OMG I DIDN'T MEANT FOR YOU TO CLEAN IT!  OH WOW!"  "I always clean it, ma."  "OH I KNOW!  BUT I KNOW YOU ARE SO BUSY AND I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO MAKE YOU DO IT!"  Blah blah blah blah.  Oh.  My.  Fucking.  God.  She's sooooooooo damn fake that I want to scream.  Next time, I am going to.  I am going to say "Look here, stop it.  You sound so fake when you talk like this.  You know damn well I clean your coffee pot (or whatever it is she's going on about) and so this fake-sounding gushing is just not needed.  If you need this done, tell me, I'll do it, and that's that.  There never has to be anything said about me doing it.  Just a thank you.  That's it.  I am tired of hearing this."  I know it will piss her off, but hey, I don't care.  I can't stand listening to this fake gushing anymore.  

So, we go to the store and I pour the hot vinegar back into the well to let it run through again.  We have HARD water and we need to run it through like four times for it to fully clean.  Which is something my mother always did growing up, too.  She taught me that.  So, I get home and the fucking machine is gone.  

I marched in, and there is she is, running water through the thing, stinking up the whole house like hot ass vinegar, which is why I normally clean it at night so nobody has to smell that putrid shit.  So I walk up, yank the cord out of the wall and say "What are you doing??"  She said "It was done."  I said "No, it needs more run throughs, and now you've wasted half a gallon of vinegar.  Thank you.  When I am working on something, let me do it, you do not need to intervene.  

She said nothing.  But then said "You only need to run it through once."  I almost laughed at her.  She lies when she gets put on the spot anymore.  Never an apology.  "Sorry, I won't do that again."  Never.  

Yes, I got overly mad over something stupid, because in reality, it's not a big deal--to most people.  But just the sheer fact that she went through my son's room to go out on his porch to retrieve her pot, even though she knows damn well I will get it done, just grinds my gears.  I know why she did it.  She knows that I can't stand the smell of hot vinegar.  She knows that.  And that's why I don't let her clean it.  And she knew that by bringing it into the house and running water through it right away it would make the entire house stink.  She wanted to make me angry.  And she wanted to show me that since I won't let her do it herself, she was going to do at least part of it herself without my permission.  Well, from now on, when we leave the house, both my kids bedrooms will be locked, my bedroom will be locked, the basement is locked and the garage.  That way she can't get into shit that's not hers to mess with.  I am so tired of this, not being able to trust her. 

It's not about a coffee pot.  It's not about the vinegar.  It's the fact she knew how much that smell makes me sick and she wanted to make me sick, to punish me, to show me that I am not in control of her or her things.  That's also why she was gushing.  She only gushes when she's annoyed.  She pretending to be overwhelmed with gratitude because she wants to point out that a) she thinks I am never busy and that I don't do enough (by over-the-top gushing about the exact opposite) and/or b) she wants to pretend like she's not angry, so she overdoes the gushing.  She thinks that it covers up her anger, when in reality, she's just pointing it out.  Deep down, she's livid, all day every day, that I don't allow her to wash clothes, wash dishes, mop the floor, etc. etc.  Or that I don't allow her to use bleach in the house.  

The funny part is that she hardly cleans anyways.  I would get it more if she was an avid cleaner, but she's not.  She only wants to clean things she's not allowed to clean (like my stove).  It's freaking annoying when there are plenty of things to clean that she can clean, but just won't do it and only wants to clean things to start a fight.  It never works, as I get to the cleaning before she can even try to do it.  

Ugh.  Anyways, that's the coffee pot caper.  We thought for a moment someone stole it, but then I laughed thinking "Who would even do that?"  Turns out, it was a batty old woman who wanted to smell up the house.  

Next time?  I will clean it at night, like I always do.  And from now on, my son's door will be 100% locked whenever we leave.  I really don't know if she's still getting into his room and rummaging around, like she used to.  So, now I know I can't trust her at all.  We were only gone like fifteen minutes max, too.  How did she eat all her dinner, go outside to smoke AND get her coffee pot to clean it out?  She had to have hurried up to eat and smoke to get it all done. 

Like I said, when she doesn't listen, I take away her access to the thing she's not listening about.  So rather than yell at her and never get a single apology anymore, she just can't have access to do the things she's not supposed to do.  It solves my problem with no arguments.  Well, minus the fact I was pissed when I smelled all that vinegar smell in the house when I got home (it can give me migraines, that and bleach).  But that was justified.  Although, that's exactly what she wanted.  So she won that match.  Dammit.  

Okay, off to go clean things before my mother tries to do put something covered in feces on my things to "clean" them with (she will use a toilet brush to clean my stove...not an actual toilet brush, just a scrub brush she uses for the toilet!! yuck!!!!).