When my mom smokes the Mary Jane, she turns into a zombie.  Like, a total braindead zombie.  She can't even comprehend normal sentences.  So, my son has tried to get her high a couple times, even though I don't want him to, but since my mom is a badass, she wants to go behind my back and do things she's not supposed to.  She doesn't know but I kind of don't give a fuck.  

It's not like I want her to be high regularly.  And it's not like I don't know when its happening, as my son tells me beforehand.  But out of the three times he's tried, none of the times has she gotten high.  See, he only gives her a tiny little hit off of his vapes and she will pretend they affected her.  But ONLY when she's alone.  "Oh, I so totally felt it when I was in my room, oh my god!"  Not you didn't, but good try there badass.  The hits she's taking are sooooooooo tiny, that they wouldn't affect a baby, much less a plus-sized adult.  But she loves to be a badass, so she will pretend like she's feelin' it. 

Of course she never acts high whenever he's given it to her and she functions perfectly normal.  But sure, whatever, ma. *eyeroll*  Pretend all you like.  I've seen my mother high a few times when I was a kid, like actually high, and like I said, she turns into a total zombie.  

Now she's gonna brag to her friend Christmas that my son lets her get high.  Which is silly, but she can tell her friends whatever she likes.  She's not been high on weed once since I was in sixth grade.  But sure.  Brag to your friend what a bad ass you are LOL 

Well, at least she's not being a bitch anymore to me.  So that's something, right?  Let her have her fantasies.  At least she's not making my life a living hell anymore.  And that's all I can ask for.  

I just thought this was quite funny, so I wanted to share it.  I need a nap now as I feel like balls because my POTS keeps acting up and I keep getting headaches and sleep attacks.  Ugh.  

Okay, so my son tried to grow...I will say they're called "potatoes", last year.  He wanted to see if it would cure his anxiety.  He grew his own potatoes and he tried them, and at first, it seemed promising.  But soon enough, his potatoes made him sick.  And every time he tried a new way to combat his sickness, the sickness got worse.  He tried every single way out there and then some to make this work.  During this time, he got off his meds so the potatoes did not interact and mess things up in his brain.  But because of that, his anxiety got worse and worse and so did the sickness that the potatoes were causing.  And eventually (and very reluctantly) he got back on his meds and quit eating potatoes.  He hasn't had them in almost a year now.  

My son was born with anxiety (he has SPD pretty badly with his ASD/ADHD).  Sensory processing disorder is why those of us with ASD get anxiety.  But now his meds are working again and helping him get back to normal, which is great.  My son was sooooooooooo disappointed that the potatoes didn't help him, even though the world tells you that they will (potatoes are SUPER popular right now).  They make it sound almost like a guarantee, and it's just not.  

So, my birthmother kept talking about trying potatoes herself.  I accidentally told her last year that my son was growing potatoes for himself and she instantly wanted some.  I wasn't offering.  But not only did she want some, she told her brother about it and he wanted some, too!!  Oh god, no!!  My son wasn't planning on sharing his potatoes, esp. since my birthmother lives out of state.  My son only grew his own due to the fact that he didn't want to get hurt trying someone else's potatoes that could be bad or something.  He wanted to do everything safely for himself.  He did tons of research and tried to cure his anxiety with this "miracle" tuber.  But he wasn't a farmer with a roadside stand.  And he wasn't going to share his potatoes with anyone else.  But she really, really wanted some potatoes.  So, I ignored her, because I wasn't about whatever it was she was trying to involve us in.

So yesterday she emails me with a bunch of information about her life and at the end of the email, she adds in a long paragraph about how she's ready to eat some potatoes, she just needs to get the potatoes.  And so I said "Yeah, I have no idea where you'd find any yourself, but my son doesn't eat potatoes anymore as they have waaay too many carbs and they make him super sick."  She's all like "Oh, he can just drink some ginger, tea and he'll be fine."  

Insert laughter here.  If she knew my son better, she'd know that just suggesting some offhand thing to do is just nonsense, as my kid is a thorough researcher and knows everything there is know about potatoes due to his research (he knows everything about whatever it is in life that has become a passion of his).  And ginger tea?  Is like putting a band-aid on a broken arm.  I get it, she doesn't know that.  But it's just silly to think that everyone thinks that everyone needs advice on things they know nothing about.  Instead, one should ask "Oh, what did he do to combat that?" rather than assume we have no idea on what to do.  I need to remember to do that myself.  To remember that unsolicited advice is just silly.  Instead, ask questions.  Because we all do that sometimes.  And most of the time the advice is just asinine and the other person has probably already tried that.  

Anyways, my issue has nothing to do with ginger tea.  My issue is inviting yourself to things that aren't yours.  My mother's BFF used to bring over egg cartons to take our chicken eggs.  I would always say "no" because I never offered her any, why did she assume I was giving them away?  Sure, my mother may have told she could have some, but who is my mother to give away MY things without asking?  And why is my birthmother asking for things like potatoes, when potatoes are not cheap to grow, nor are they okay to just share with others?  I wasn't asking her to pay for them, that would be worse.  But just because my son has something she wanted and she can't find them elsewhere, why on earth would she just assume he'd share?  But even if he had shared with her...which he did not, why on EARTH would she tell her stupid crazy brother about it and assume he was allowed to have some potatoes, too?  Potatoes are not easy to grow.  And they are not...well, you know, kosher.  So, they (my birthmother and her brother) are putting my son in danger and assume he'll just give them some?  What in the actual fuck? 

Well, we don't have potatoes in our house.  Neither does my son.  So, it has nothing to do with us anymore.  She can go buy some potatoes at the grocery store or wherever she can find some.  Or she can become a gardener and grow her own.  Whatever she chooses to do has nothing to do with us she can stop telling me about it.  I am so annoyed that she not only assumed my son would share, but that she told other people and offered them things that weren't theirs to offer in the first place.  Again, what in the actual fuck??

The more I know this woman, the more I realize she's a clueless ninny.  And the more she makes me angry.  Though, it was my fault for telling her to begin with.  I know better now.  And she's not a safe person to share ANYTHING with.  And I really need to stop telling her things.  

Whooeee.  Life's been crazy in our house this past month (and more).  Not with my mother, so much.  A little bit, but nothing narcissism-wise.  She needs knee replacements, she doesn't qualify for them, and now they're pressing her to do in-person physical therapy twice a week for whatever amount of time and we literally cannot do that.  Esp. since the office has particular times that we can't make it to.  So, sadly, she's fucked.  I am not happy about this.  I don't like my mother, but I do care about her well-being and I do not want her to suffer.  Esp. since, the fix is easy: Medicare needs to allow for physical rehab afterwards.  But they will only do that if she's hospitalized.  Sigh.  

Then we have me: I either have another kidney stone, or the one I've had since Dec. hasn't passed.  And if it doesn't pass in three weeks, I will need to have a procedure to remove it (it's called surgery, but they don't open you up, it's just a probe and laser in your urethra to break it up).  

And even though my gastritis keeps flaring (minimally--finally!) it's been getting soooo much better, thank goodness.  I can eat more foods now.  I am thinking of adding peanut butter to my list eventually.  I have to add food back into my diet very slowly and only one at a time, otherwise my stomach is a mess.  But I am very grateful it's been on the mend finally.  

And last night we spent the entire night in the ER with my son, who I found out passed out on the floor last night.  When I woke him, he was barely responding to me and could not form words.  He is not an alcoholic, but it does run on his father's side of the family (pretty thickly, I might add) and he really needs to watch what choices he makes.  He's a great person and sometimes likes to indulge in weed or drinking (usually he and his brother drink with their friends online on weekends), but last night?  I have no idea what happened.  Neither does he.  He didn't think he drank that much---but he had a Four Loco, and he barely remembers drinking a second one and (along with some beers beforehand) and it didn't hit him all at once.  In fact, he was drunk at a normal level for HOURS before the Four Locos hit him and he passed out and fell off his chair.  He's lucky he didn't get a concussion or worse.  We're also lucky I went to tell him goodnight, otherwise he could have...well, you know what could have happened.  Like I said, he's not a drinker.  But he's also not a lightweight when it comes to drinking (that also runs on his father's side).  So how this happened as bad as it did, well, he never wants to drink those Four Locos again, that's for sure.  Geezus.  That was scary.  My uncle died this way.  Granted, my uncle went on a bender and drank himself to death (while completely naked), but that's how it happened.  He choked on his own vomit.  My son almost did that as a toddler.  It was the middle of the night and I got up to pee and heard noises from his room and found him on his back choking.  He could have died (and that's why I coslept with my kids until they were old enough to want to sleep on their own).  

And that's why people should never live alone.  Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Anyways. Now he feels like shit and will be in bed all day.  

My mother has been a good girl lately.  I think she should have another cat scan to see if she's had any recent strokes.  She got a new doctor because her doctor tried to not prescribe her medication she needs to live a normal life, claiming we need to get it filled through a specialist.  Even though HE was the one who said to fill it through him and we have for years.  But out of the blue he just decided to stop.  No warning.  Nothing.  So, I am done with him.  My mother tried to protest, but she literally hates him but since I hate him she wants to keep seeing him.  It's so fucking childish.  But I told her what he did and she agreed to see the new one.  

Well, I just had Walmart delivered, so I need to go bring it in.  But that's all for now.  Oh yes, I also have to go under for an ablation next month, so that's two procedures I need to have done in a short amount of time, both under anesthesia.  I may not need the kidney stone one, but I do need to the ablation.  Ugh.  I just wish this would pass and I catch it in that little screened funnel they gave me so we can see what it's made from so we can prevent another from happening.  I hate peeing in that thing.  And I have to take it with me places!!  It's so awkward to use and I have to wash it after every use and I don't have a sink in my bathroom right now.  Well, it's better than being in pain, so I guess I can't complain about that.  I was in pain for so long.  So I am very VERY grateful I am so much better right now.  

Okay, that's enough.  Gotta go get my groceries.