Well, well, well.  What do we have here? Oh, it's you, Linda.  And now I have had to call the police.  

Well, not on Linda.  But on our shitty violent dog-shit of a neighbor that I'd like to scrape off my shoe, thank you very much.  But this whole thing is Linda's fault.  

I was sick yesterday.  I think I am in perimenopause and I've been having these horrible, horrible surges of what I think is cortisol or adrenaline and they make me have internal tremors, but also I was having horrible sleep attacks and just wanted to barf all day.  I feel really, really bad.  So, I laid down to sleep and watch some TV to drift off to, and I quickly fell asleep.  My son woke me up when the show was over and I realized it was 7pm.  Also, we had a tornado watch going on and it was windy AF outside.  So I ran out to get my new plants and secure them and my mom found me when I came back in and asked "When is food?"  She knew her food was already in the microwave, so there was no need to come find me, she just wanted to bitch that I was late with feeding her.  

So I fed her, and laid back and I hear "DING!"  I looked at my phone and sure enough, it's Linda, the lady with the dog.  Linda has not spoken to me in almost a year because she asked me one too many times to watch her dog and I said no and supposedly I left her without a dog sitter.  Yes, that's a reason to not speak to me anymore, right?  Good grief.  

She writes "Did you know your garbage is blowing into our yard???  NOT NICE!!!!"  

I have not heard from this woman for an entire year and that's how she messages me out of the blue.  I wrote back "Calm down, I will come out and get the boxes.  You don't have to be rude."  She then called me rude and told me she's been picking up my garbage out of her yard for weeks.  Bullshit.  I cleaned out my garage two days prior and left some things out until after garbage day, as my bin was full.  They were boxes...that's all.  ONE blew into her yard and she had a meltdown.  I have not had garbage out there beyond that.  

Well, she started saying some more bullshit to me and getting ruder and ruder and ruder to me, so my son went out to make sure there wasn't more garbage and she came outside and started calling him names.  He was confused, because how did she know my son knew about us texting?  So then my son apologized about the boxes, and she cut him off several times, being an idiot to him, and he lost his shit on her.  

It takes a LOT for my son to lose his shit on someone like that. 

And then my little troll of a neighbor across the street, let's call him Jon (oh wait, that's his name), he comes trucking over, hearing the yelling, and says "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" to my son.  My son is 26, so he's not a kid, so I didn't go into full mama bear mode.  But he got involved, and started threatening us, and was even going to come into our yard to fight my son.  I stepped in front of him and I said "You step one foot in our yard and I am calling the cops."  So he replies "Okay, but if any of you leave the yard, I will be watching and I am going to rock your world!"  

So, I called 911.  

Of course the cops acted like this was our fault, because the two narcissistic asshole neighbors said it was, but I set the cops straight (I said "I don't care about the argument, I care he said we're not allowed to leave our yard without him hurting us, that's what I care about.").  He said "Oh" like he didn't know that's what had happened and told me to call the back if he comes near us.  

Yay for police not knowing that a criminal threat is a crime!  

Sigh.  

I could list ALL the bullshit that was said between us, the things Linda said.  Like one thing, apparently, her dog died....and I said "And?  We lost THREE dogs last  year and you said nothing to us."  And she replied "Well you still have five left!"  We have two.  She's a fucking looney idiot.  So many horrible things were said (mostly from the little troll's mouth), but none of that matters.  

BUT....the good and great things that came from all of this??  I got to tell that bitch exactly how horrible she is and how she uses people to watch her dog and acts like he's everyone else's obligation but hers.  I got to tell her that she never liked me, she just used me to do shit for her and that she's a horrible gossip.  AND I gave her her stupid housekey back.  She said a whole SLEW of narcissistic things back to me, but I don't care.  She's a thorn in my side no longer!!  Yay!!!  

And I am done with dealing with people like her.  I refuse to be treated like an object any longer by people who don't matter (or by anyone).  I will be honest and say no to obligations I can't do.  No longer will I say yes when I mean no.  

So, yay!!  No more Linda bothering me!  Or at least I hope she won't.  She better never speak to me again.  And that little half-eaten smashed up granola bar across the street better never speak to me either.  Although, he's such a violent little fuck, I may just make a website to upload videos of him being an abusive little prick to his family (or just to YouTube).  

God, I can't wait to live surrounded by trees and not people.  People are such assholes.