So, on Saturday (yesterday for me), my husband's work had a going away party for him at our local bowling alley.  I was so reluctant to go (even though I was always going to go) because I had never met his coworkers before.  Before this job, he's usually worked in retail, so I've always known his coworkers.  My husband and I are very close, and it didn't dawn on me until I had to meet these people that this was one of the first times he's worked with people who have become his friends that I had zero affiliation with.  Neither one of us has ever had friends outside our marriage before.  Even with my ex, he knew my friends and I knew his, even his coworkers.  So here I am, at 47, experiencing this for the first time.  It was so weird.  

Now, on top of that, his coworkers?  Are all girls.  In their twenties.  So that made it 1,000x more weird.  Then I had the idiocy to look them before going.  Oh god.  That was a mistake.  His boss?  In her pictures, was smoking hot.  Something he never relayed to me.  I asked him, why didn't you tell me that?  He said "Um, she's not hot, I see her everyday.  She's a dork."  I rolled my eyes at him.  He shrugged.  It's not that I was jealous, it was that I am a 47 year old chubby woman with grey hair that looks like Pink, but nowhere near as cool as Pink.  

My facial structure and hairstyle is very similar to hers.  She's way cooler and more fit, but but I have a mostly shaved head like her.  I do not look like a traditional woman.  And I was scared to meet these young teeny-boppers girls, who all could be as hot as his boss.  

And I had no idea what to wear.  So, I wore my Chucky shirt (from Rugrats, not the murderous doll) that says "We're DOOMED!" on it with some jeans.  I thought "Hey, that's from their age group, they'll appreciate that".  Play with kids, wear kids stuff.  Kids usually like kid stuff, right?

Anyways, we went there, and his boss was sitting and waiting for us (she's the same age as our oldest son) and the minute I saw her, I felt immediately relieved.  Her pictures?  Are freaking fake.  And yes, she was a dork, like my husband said.  Just like us.  Kinda sorta.  

The other person I was scared of seeing was Big A.  Big A is buds with my hubby.  And Big A.....well, used to be my mom's husband's best friend.  And he hates me.  

Back in the day, before my hubby knew Big A, my mom was married to Goose.  But before my mom was married to Goose, Goose lived with Big A.  Because Goose's wife, who was my friend (which is how Goose met my mother), left him and Goose tried to end his life.  Goose ended up in the hospital and when he got out, he had nowhere to go, so he moved in with Big A.  Then he started hanging around my mother, who lived next door from the house he shared with my old friend and eventually, they got to together and got married.  And then Goose died.  Because my mother loves to marry men and they get cancer and die.  The first one lasted almost 40 years, and Goose lasted only 2.  

So, when Goose died, my mom went apeshit because Goose's daughter, who's a raging narcissist, was mourning the loss of her father.  And my mom didn't like that.  Goose was HER husband.  The only person allowed to mourn him was HER.  Just like when my father died, she didn't even acknowledge my grief for a full year after his death.  But did go apeshit on his sister for mourning him, as though she didn't know him longer than my mother.  But my mother only allows one person to grieve the men she loved and that's HER.  And I was her little asshole lackey back then and did her bidding.  Goose's daughter was mourning him on his FB page, which was a legacy page now, and my mother told me to do whatever I could to get them shut it down.  So I did.  And Big A said I was an asshole for doing so.  

And he wasn't wrong.  But I was following orders and knew if I didn't, I would have to hear about it forever.  And be shunned by this horrible woman who I depended on at the time.

But Big A apparently loves to play games and pretended he had no idea who I was.  

Um, that was weird as fuck.  

So, makes me feel like he's not as nice of a person as my husband thinks he is.  Which also makes me feel like a jerk for thinking so.  But I know how narcs work.  And this was a total game he was playing.  

So, we bowled and it was fun.  That is until his dork of a boss turns to us, out of nowhere and says "Wow, you two have the same haircut".  

Dafuq did that bitch just say?  

My husband said "No we don't, but okay."  

Then she, JUST LIKE MY NARCISSISTIC MOTHER-IN-LAW DOES when she gives me an insult, backtracks and says "But I like what you did with your bangs".  I said "Thanks" and she turned to talk to other people and ignored me for the rest of the night.  

Well, minus the moment she decided to blurt out "Hey Ted (my husband)!  Are you wearing your work pants??"  Which was so weird, because who has "work clothes" at their job?  They work at a factory and wear their normal clothes.  So, why would they be work pants?  My husband looks down and gives her a funny look and says "These are my pants, Christian (her name)."  And goes back to bowling.  

She's so freaking weird.  

OH and also when we first got there she said "I don't know how long I can stay, as my uncle, my grandpa's brother had a stroke today and my grandpa is stuck taking care of him, so I may have to go." 

Wait, what?  I caught that right away.  My hubby did not.  For one, if her uncle....WHO APPARENTLY HAD COME BACK FROM THE DEAD (more on this in a moment), just had a stroke that particular morning, then he'd be in the hospital.  The man wasn't dying beforehand or anything, he just up and had a stroke.  And for two, why on earth would SHE be the one who'd have to go relieve grandpappy?  Why not her mother?  Or someone else?  Here is why this strikes me as odd:

It appears as though Chris has some sort of "savior complex", or rather, a "pseudo-hero/savior complex", because she's always lying about doing important things.  Recently, she had left work due to the fact her sibling had abandoned their children and she was the only one who could save them.  Then the very next day, she called in and said "I am sorry, but my uncle died and I'll be out for a few days."  This was on a Friday, and she didn't come back until Wednesday.  Who leaves work that long for a freaking uncle??  And, she only had one uncle.  And apparently he had come back from the dead to have a stroke yesterday.  He must be a magician!!  Wow!  But again, she had to be the one to "go save Grandpa", when there are other people in her family.  

But I know what's going on here.  She's a lying liarpants.  And every lie is about her being the savior/hero of the day.  It's like. oh shut up, will ya?  Nobody believes your weird-ass stories, lady!   Well, at least I don't.  

I was so terrified of showing up, and as it turns out, I was only a little right about her.  Despite her being a dork, she still found a way to take a dig at me and oddly enough, at my husband, too.  She said NOTHING ELSE to anyone else about their looks.  Why the fuck did she single us out?  

I wouldn't take her hair comment about me so personally, but that really digs at a very deep wound I have.  Ever since I was a toddler, I've had boy hair.  I have autism and I HATE my hair and everything about it.  I hate having to style it.  I hate having it get in my face (that's the worst!!).  I hate brushing it.  I just hate hair in general.  And having it short is my only reprieve to have to worry about something that's never worked right for me an always makes me look stupid.  Yes, I look like a total lesbian with my haircut.  But I love my hair.  And I love how easy it is style every single day.  When I have long hair, I hate it.  So why should I have to look like everyone else in order to not have some child-ass bitch tell me I look like a dude?  What an asshole.  

I will say, three people told me yesterday (at my doctor's office) that they loved my haircut.  But all it takes it that one person to say something rude to bring you down.  It's not fair.  Three is more than one.  But hurting someone's feelings is meaner than three people giving you compliments is nice.  Does that make sense?  That one is greater than three in this scenario. 

I just glad he's done with that job.  That place is a pile of shit (not his coworkers, the business itself).  They are all cogs in machines and nobody cares because the cogs are ever-so-replaceable.  My husband is finally free :)  

Okay, that's all for now.  It was sweet that they threw him a party though.  Even if his boss made it weird.  And I almost won!  Big A was above me by a few points.  And my hubby was third!  It was fun and Chris didn't bowl but was on her phone the whole time (minus the breaks she took to say the weird comments), and Big A pretended like we just met that night, but whatever.  It was still a great ending to a shitty job for him.  Nobody had ever cared about him leaving a job before, so this was pretty freaking awesome.  I am so proud of him to make such a difference at his job that they all cared about him so much.  I really love my husband.  And so do his coworkers (in a different way LOL).  

He's a great supervisor and I hope we can find a job that makes him so happy on day.  But for now, I get him all to myself (and our kids!) and I am going to enjoy it!  Even if I have to do it with my manly haircut LOL