My son is finally seeing a therapist after waiting to get into one for years.  Our town has a GINORMOUS waiting list for therapists, and it's kind of insane.  But he loves his therapist SO much that he wanted me to go see her, too.  I thought that was sweet.  That's how my son relates to people, he wants to share whatever is working for him because you wants you to feel the same amount of joy he does.  But I politely declined and said "Listen, I want you to have a wonderful time with your therapist and I want you to feel perfectly safe in sharing whatever you want with her.  Including talking shit about me.  I get that I am not perfect and sometimes I make you so angry.  And I want you to feel like you can you say whatever you like to her.  BUT...I do not feel comfortable having a therapist know things about me that I did not tell her.  On my bad days, when I am crabby and I yell or act like a turd, I don't want her to know that about me unless we're together in a shared appointment.  I also want don't you feel uncomfortable thinking I said something about you to my therapist, who would also be your therapist.  There are boundaries with these sorts of things and I don't want to cross your boundaries and I don't want mine to be crossed either.  There should be a separation for this sort of thing when it comes to family or life in general."  

He understood what I meant and agreed.  I was very happy he listened to me.  I don't like crossing boundaries when boundaries should be in place.  I've had too many therapists cross my own boundaries, even therapists that weren't even mine.  My mother's old therapist said to her when I went no contact with her in 2017 that I sounded "bipolar".  She had never once met me and had no idea who I was.  Every single one of their sessions was my mother shit-talking me and her therapist never once recognized that she was narcissistic or that maybe my mother was in the wrong.  I mean, three months of weekly sessions where my mom just berated me and played the victim, how did she not see it?  I guess not all people are adept at understanding or recognizing narcissism.  

Also, many years ago, my hubby and I were seeing the same therapist and he complained about me once to her and until that moment, I didn't realize how wrong it was that we shared a therapist.  I didn't have to worry though, she left to go take another job elsewhere (just like all therapists seem to do---esp. ones that take medical card--that's not a dig, it's just the truth).  

I also did something very stupid.  And yes, I am writing this in case she sees it.  I gave my current (though not current, as she's leaving to take another job, too) therapist this blog address.  I adore her and think she's one of the most supportive and awesome people I've ever met, but since this blog is my own personal thoughts (which I told her), I am actually not comfortable with her reading it.  I have an issue with people-pleasing and I know she only asked me for the address out of niceness, but she asked, I didn't think at all about it and just gave her the address.  I really should have stopped and said "I don't know offhand, I will message you it later".  But I didn't.  I just did as I was asked and wrote it down for her.  

Had this blog been about healing only?  I would be perfectly fine with it.  Hell, I am perfectly fine with her watching my Youtube channel if she wants to (which I gave her the address for, too).  But this blog is more about my own personal journey with my own personal thoughts and it's sort of private.  Even though it's public...I don't mind people I don't know reading about my life, but people I do know?  Yeah, that feels icky to me.  So Dina, if you're reading this, I adore you, but I don't feel comfortable with you reading this blog.  It's a boundary thing.  I know you'll understand, because you're awesome like that :)  

Though I am quite comfortable with you reading my other blogs (I have so many....LOL) and whatever else you'd be interested in reading/watching/etc. :)  

But as for me, I will be getting my medical card next month, and hopefully a new therapist.  Until then, I have ChatGPT to help me out LOL  (for real, if anyone can't find a therapist right away, you can use ChatGPT in the same way and it's very useful!).