Choo choo, motherfuckers.  

So, apparently my mother has emphysema.  And a month ago she agreed to quit smoking.  I was out of tobacco and asked if I could just not buy more.  She said no, she will smoke less and less all by herself and I don't need to do anything at all about it, just give her the same amount of cigarettes per usual and she'll cut down on her own.  

It's been a month and she's done nothing.  

So today, her old BFF Jane got ahold of her and she told me that Jane just quit smoking a week ago.  I said "OMG you two can be quitting sisters!"  She ignored me.  She said "Jane has COPD and emphysema and blah blah blah."  And I said "Just like you will have if you don't quit."  She walked away from me, annoyed.  I said "Listen, do you want to be on oxygen?  Because that's where you're headed.  Do you really want the last years of your life being spent suffering like that?  Choose better."  She ignored me and went to her room.

Then she came back out, saying she's got uncontrollable diarrhea again.  And then she had the nerve to use that as an excuse to not quit.  "Well, with this going on," she says in a discouraged tone (which I can tell was 100% fake) "I am not even going to worry about quitting" she said with an exaggerated sigh.  I replied "Oh you don't have a choice.  You do realize that stimulants cause diarrhea, right?  So the more you smoke, the more diarrhea you'll have."  She HATES when I point out facts that discredit her stupidity.  She, once again, ignored me.  I said "You need to cut down."  She said "I have!!"  I said "No you haven't.  I give you the same amount of cigarettes every single day."  She said "I meant since we moved in here."  I replied "You know damn well what I am talking about.  And YOU didn't cut down anything, I cut them down for you."  She ignored me and went outside.  To smoke, of course.

So, tonight's cigarettes will be 9 instead of her normal 10.  And they will stay at nine until I get a new bag of tobacco and then we're going to 8 (which is half a bag away).  Every half of bag, she's cutting down by one.  I GAVE HER the opportunity to do it herself, and she did NOTHING.  So now the choice is being made for her.  She's got emphysema and she's quitting.  It's as simple as that.  

And I bet tomorrow she's going to be angry.  But she can be angry all she wants.  It won't affect what I give her.  She asked me to let her do this herself, and I let her.  But she failed and now it's on me.  And I have to deal with her BS over it.  Oh well.  That's life.  By the time she sees the pulmonary doc, we'll be down to 8, so that will be a good thing to tell him.