UNTIL WE CURE ASPD

Ever notice that wars are only created by narcissists?  Ever notice that the only people that want to take over the world are narcissists?  Ever notice that all predators are also narcissists?  It's a fucked up world, ladies and gents, and it will never ever not be fucked up as long as sociopathy/ASPD is allowed to exist.  

So, why aren't we looking for a cure?  

They say it's uncurable and have even tried giving oxytocin to people with anti-social personality disorder (meaning sociopaths--narcissism is the personality disorder of a sociopath), to no avail.  It worked for some, but for others, it made them even more violent.  Nobody knows what causes it, other than it being inherited from parent to child.  But the root cause, nobody has any clue.  It just seems to be encoded in our DNA as humans.  And I do wonder sometimes if there are more of them than us.  

The first possible step in finding a cure would be to find the cause, why their brains work the way they do.  Is there a physical cause?  And if so, can it be eventually fixed?  Or is the cause just something with brain chemistry?  Nobody knows.  But I hope they never stop searching for answers because until we find a cure, there will be no world peace.  There will be no true safe spaces on this planet, other than the ones we create for ourselves by choosing to be around good and safe people, rather than the toxic people with ASPD and narcissism.  And even then, we can be deceived.  

Sigh.  

I just don't get it.  Why did we evolve this way?  Why are humans like this?  And how will we ever fix it?  Is it even fixable?  I hope so.  As long as we don't give up, one day, some scientist or researcher will figure it out.  At least we hope they can.  Until then, we will keep giving birth to awful humans who do awful things who have awful ambitions and awful actions.  But at the same time, we will keep on giving birth to those who want the best for others and themselves.  Those are the people to seek out.  Those are your safe people.  Those are the people to surround yourself with.  

How to find them?  You have to become a master at toxic identification.  You have to pay attention to red flags.  And if you find enough red flags in a person, you have to be strong enough to walk away.  You have to build your inner strength.  But even if you can't, you have to tell yourself the first time you make a choice that is hard in life will be the hardest time, and each time that comes after will be easier.  And it will keep on getting easier until it just becomes easy and second nature.  Stand up for yourself.  Walk away from situations and people who hurt you.  And find other people who will nurture your soul instead of trying to destroy it.  

There may never be a cure for narcissism and ASPD (which, in my opinion, is the root cause of all Cluster B's--where ASPD is the underlying issue and the rest of the Cluster B's are just manifestations of the ASPD in different ways).  But we can protect ourselves by educating ourselves and others on narcissism and educating ourselves on the red flags of toxic people and become adept at recognizing them as quickly as possible.  And then we have to put distance, both emotional and physical (and financial) between us and them.  

Narcissists aren't the only people who are toxic.  Codependents can be, too.  Those who support the narcissists (many are reverse narcissists--people who are actually narcissists themselves, but are severely codependent on bigger and badder narcissists) can be equally as toxic to us.  Anyone who crosses our boundaries repeatedly, after being told not to, are people we should avoid.  So, even if someone is nice to you and you think they're a nice person, it doesn't mean they aren't using you for their benefit.  Does the nice person support you?  Does the nice person offer to let you take the wheel, but ends up taking the wheel back themselves at the last moment?  Does the nice person take what you say about yourself and make it be about them instead?  Does the nice person get angry when you confront them about their bad behaviors?  Does the nice person tell you that something bad happening to you is not big deal and you should let it go but if the same thing happens to them, and now it's a HUGE deal?  Does the nice person expect you to support them in their time of need, but may not support you in yours?  Does the nice person downplay your issues while making theirs a bigger deal?  Does the nice person ignore you when you ask them questions they don't want to answer?  Does the nice person pretend like the bad things they did don't exist but the bad things you did they make jokes about?  Does the nice person make jokes at your expense?  And lastly (but there's so much more I could list), does the nice person repeatedly do these things even though you've asked them to stop?  Or do they get angry at you for telling them to stop?  

Not all narcissists are cold and mean.  Covert ones can be pretty nice, on the outside, though not always.  But overt narcissists are easier to spot.  The covert ones are the ones that sneak into our lives like hidden snakes, waiting to strike when they no longer are getting what they want from you.  And your job is to recognize that.  If you want to have peace in your life.  

If there is no cure for this affliction, that means we will never have world peace.  We'll never have unified nations or a unified world.  We will always have people who want and want and take and take and they use us, and everyone around us, to get those things.  Whether it be a certain job, fame, to look like a badass, or even world domination, those with ASPD will stop at nothing to get it.  Well, until people stop following them and stop doing their bidding.  I used to do my mother's bidding, and while I haven't for over ten years now, I am still healing from having her in my life.  When I no longer did her bidding, she got other people to do it for her instead and replaced me.  So, even if we walk away from a narcissist, it won't stop them from being who they are and unleashing destruction wherever they go, we can at least protect ourselves from them and do whatever we can to spread joy and support in the world, to combat the destruction that the narcissists spread.  

I am writing a book how to do just this.  My job in life to spread joy and healing and to help prevent others from having to be abused by narcissists.  I will also be providing information how to heal from CPTSD and high ACE scores, as well.  I think our world needs as much information on this as possible, so consider writing your own life stories, either in blog format or in book form.  Share everything you've learned and everything you know with everyone you know.   The only reason ASPD and toxic behavior gets away with what it does is because we keep it in the dark.  Let's bring this shit out into the open and hopefully it will help anyone who's willing to listen.  

Also, check out my YouTube Channel where I write songs about growing up with narcissistic abuse: 

https://www.youtube.com/@healingfromher