My new therapist and I have finished my intake interview.  Finally.  After THREE sessions.  Ugh.  And now my first actual appointment is with her.  And I am scared to ask for a new therapist.  Even though I know for 100% fact I don't want to see her again.  There is a little voice inside of me that says "But what if you're wrong?  What if you're being rash?  What if you're being too picky?  What if you're just an idiot and she's actually really nice?"  I know none of these things are true.  I know this.  I am a good judge of character and every single person I give the benefit of the doubt, I am always right about.  Every single person I say "what if?" to, I always end up realizing that I was right to begin with.  So, why do I not just trust that?  Why do I second-guess myself?  

Because everyone second guesses me.  Everyone tells me I am too rash in my judgement of others.  But don't they see I am normally right?  Don't they end up always telling me "Boy, I should have listened to you, you were right!"?  Yes.  They do.  So, why do I let them get into my head?  And why am I listening to that little voice inside my own head?  Because I don't want to be an asshole.  Today, she wasn't so bad.  I mean, she was, but I kept quiet more.  When I did talk, she'd interrupt me, AND then talk over me so much I can't interrupt her back so I can finish my thought and then sometimes she'll change the subject before I can speak again.  Sigh.  So, I didn't say much.  

When I am allowed to speak, she almost never responds to what I say, and instead relates something back to herself instead.  So again, it's like I am in a one-sided conversation with myself.  And I do not like the way it makes me feel.  And in the beginning, when I told her the certain things I do not like that therapists do, she said "Well, be prepared, I do those things."  And I am thinking like "WELL DON'T!!"  Like for one, she never writes down what your homework is.  And I am thinking "Well, then I will never do it, because you won't freaking remember what it is.  I could just lie about it."  LOL  

And today, she asked "What do you think will hamper your therapy  with us?"  Meaning, what I could do, as a client, to block my own therapy.  I wanted to say "You."  Or "A bad therapist."  But I didn't.  I just said "I can't think of anything."  She gave me the vibe that she didn't believe me.  And she puts a LOT of words into my mouth and does it regularly.  I wanted my response to that to be: