(I asked for a line art picture not a sexy weirdo only wearing a sweater LOL)

Well, where to start....where to start?  

Hmmm, okay, new therapist.  I've seen her twice.  The first session I felt HORRIBLE afterwards.  But the second wasn't so bad.  But she literally sat there and stared at me for almost 60 seconds straight without saying a word to me when we first started our session.  It was....odd.  I like talky talky people, but ones who are there for the therapy and not to only talk about themselves.  

Then....then then then, we have the art therapy class.  Something I was UBER excited to go to.  And wow, was that a disappointment.  If I could upload my shitty art, I would.  But I am thoroughly embarrassed by it.  Not just because of my art (which was really bad) but the way it makes me feel when I look at it.  

First, the "art therapist" said "I prefer if you are a bad artist, it makes it better."  But THEN proceeds to go along and pick the best artists to brag on their pictures and say how great they are.  And the rest of us, she said nothing.  

Then, she said "You don't have to show your art or talk if you don't want to."  But then proceeds to make us all talk and tell everyone our pronouns (which made me angry, I think we should only have to share pronouns if they are different from the norm), and then proceeds to go around and hold up all our art without asking if we're okay with it.  I felt sooooooooooooooo fucking stupid, as my art was HORRIBLE (for so many reasons). 

Okay, so tell me how is this art therapy: draw a scribble on the page with your non-dominant hand (which looked no different than a scribble with my dominant hand) and then pass it to your left, and then take the other person's scribble and make something out of it.  And when we were done, we just left.  That's it.  Um, how is that art therapy?  Also, she said "I am trying to figure out what I'll have you do next week".  So....let me get this straight, there's no set curriculum?  What?  How is this art "therapy"???  It felt like an art class for small children with busywork art.  I have led more meaningful art therapy classes with various groups myself, and I don't have a degree.  Wtf?  

Sigh.  I am not going back.  What a waste of time.  Plus, my anxiety was so out of control after the class, too, and lasted until late into the night (like dissociative anxiety).  Like so much worse than before I left to go there.  I HATE HATE HATE showing my art to anyone, ever, and being forced to was NOT fun.  I am going to relay all of this to my therapist at our next appointment.   I hope she listens to me (though I don't have high hopes for that, as so many of them don't, but we'll see).  

What else?  I knew I had other things to record here, but I can't remember off the top of my head what they were.  

Oh yeah, Halloween was super dumb.  WINDY AS FUCK.  And it ruined it.  PLUS we ran out of candy, so we had to turn away children.  That was horrid.  I knew from the get-go it was going to suck, but I tried really hard to make it work, and then mother nature came and fucked it all up.  Well, at least there wasn't a tornado, so that's nice.  Though, I will say, it was still slightly cool.  We still did the projector and it was cool.  Well, my mother tried to steal candy and I told her no, nobody gets any candy until the kids are done trick-or-treating and she was upset.  She honestly thought that I should put HER wants above the neighborhood kids because she deserved candy more than they did.  Sigh.  I had to lay the law down as I said no, but she took some anyways (we do full-sized candy bars and she took TWO!) and so I had to tell her to put them back.  I said if we had leftovers we'll all get some (minus me, I can't eat it).  But we didn't have leftovers and she kept bitching about it.  So I kept saying "Well, all the kids we had to turn away didn't get any either, so...." and she would reply "But I didn't get ANY, and they got candy from other houses!"  I wanted to say, what are you five???  Stop acting like a kid.  

Anyways.  We got our garage cleaned out so my son can weld, hopefully without setting anything on fire.  Once he can do that, he can finish working on the car.  The weather is nicer now and he won't be baking in the garage in his welding helmet anymore.  I am excited to get this done.  Once that's done, we can have our garage sale AND switch bedrooms.  I am excited for both. 

Speaking of switching rooms, I am still anxious about having people walk through my room to get outside (my mother or having her BFF come over), but I will deal with it.  It will be better than what we have going on now.  

Oh yes, also, my in-laws (both narcissists) are causing HUGE issues with my husband.  They called him for a ride to the ER (even though we're no contact with them and told them not to call us for help) because his dad could not pee and was bleeding from his surgery.  My husband told them to call 911.  So, his mother just held the phone away from her face and said to her husband "We need to call my brother" and proceeded to hang up on my husband.  

What.  In.  The.  Ever.  Loving.  Fucktarded.  Asshole.  Shit.  Is.  That???

So, my husband got PISSED and called them right back, but they refused to answer.  Then, a few days later, his sister called and told him to come do their laundry.  Granted, they are all blocked from calling but they left messages.  And here's the thing: they never call, like for a whole year, unless they want him to do something.  And he says no, and they get angry and berate him or hang up on him (back in the day he would do shit for them, but they would ask for more and more and MORE until he couldn't do it and then they'd get angry with him and use that as an excuse to not talk to him).  So, he blocked them.  But because call blocking from your phone still allows text messages and voicemails to get through, he was thinking about changing his phone number.  He's still thinking about that.  

Well, we went to an author fair and to the local author's group and I have to say, those were the highlight of my October.  They were both fun and filled with great people.  So that's nice.  

And the weather.  OMG the weather has been amazing and the colors have been gorgeous, even with the nasty-ass wind.  

Well, it's NaNoWriMo and it's already the 2nd and I need to start working on my book.  I started it during NaNoWriMo many years ago and this year I would LOVE to finish it during November.  So, I better get working on it.  

Okay, off to go write before I play some Minecraft with my kids and hubby.  

Until next time.