Mother did not get the Christmas she wanted or imagined, so she's punishing me by not obeying house rules...again.  We JUST had this issues a month ago, and now she's doing it again, because she's feeling saucy.  

So, this particular rule is called "The Compartmentalized Cat Rule" (I just named it that) and it states in the bylaws that two particular cats shall remain in the custody of my mother's room, at all times, except for special circumstances.  And those special circumstances are as follows:  

• Cat #1 (17 years old) has issues pissing on things.  She is NOT allowed outside of the room without my mother being there and letting her straight outside.  Then the cat comes back in and goes straight back to my mother's room, all under supervision.  My mother AGREED to this.  Verbally.  
• And Cat #2 (5 or 6 years old) is my dog's nemesis.  He used to literally chase my dog down and bite and scratch him, like a bully.  WELL, the cat got attacked by a coyote (or something around here) and hasn't left the house since.  Good thing, because that dumbass was always getting hurt and I told my mother that if he goes outside again, he will be gone.  Like, I will take him to the pound myself, as we cannot afford to keep taking his gigantic stupid damn ass to the vet.  Well, a coyote did it for us.  And now he won't leave.  And because of this, the cat's personality has changed from being a total bully to a docile doofus.  But the dog, who, at first, took the cat's shit but eventually learned to fight back, which then morphed into RAGE against the cat every tine he saw him.  Like, my dog would attack the cat.  So, the cat is only allowed to leave the room at night when my dog is sleeping, which he does, with the rest of her cats.  

Read that: her cats are allowed to leave her room, with her bedroom door open, in the middle of the early morning (as my mom gets up at 4 am every single day), so all the cats can come out and play.  My dog is sleeping, so it's fine.  We also know to look for the cats if he wants to go outside at that time of day.  

But today, Cat #1 (the 17 year old) is out in the kitchen, and my oldest son says to me "Hey, Cat #1 is out in the kitchen.  Hey, wait, Grandma's door is open!"  So he sent me in there to go shut it.  I took cat #1 (she's a total moose, btw LOL) and threw her (nicely) onto my mom's bed and said "Why on earth was she out here?  You KNOW she's not allowed out here unless you're letting her outside!  She pisses on the counter!"  Which my mother replies "She doesn't do that."  I said "Yes, she does!  You KNOW this!  You agreed to keep her in your room unless she's going outside!  Why is she out here??  And why is your door open??"  She replies "GOD!  Can't my cats do anything at all???"  

First of all, it's only TWO cats who aren't allowed out willy-nilly.  All the other cats (read: ALL SIX OTHER ONES) are allowed out whenever they like.  So, WTF is she even talking about?  Second, they were all already out this morning when I got up to pee (not on the counter).  So they were just FINE.  

Her reply?  "Where is Cat #2?"  I said "WHAT?!!! He's not allowed out here!  Did he leave your room??  (I am totally panicking now, as my dog is in the kitchen with me)  What are you thinking??  Ma, you realize my dog will attack him, right??  I am not punishing your cat, I am PROTECTING him!!  What's wrong with you??  You realize my dog will hurt him, right?"  She replies in a sing-song voice "I know."  My son said "Yeah, you know, and that's why you're a bad cat owner!  You don't care about your cats, you only care about pissing off mom, which is why you do this shit!!"  

Safe to say, my son was PISSED.  But I will say I do feel good he sees it.  That it's not just me saying she's doing this shit on purpose to make me angry, he sees it, too.  We ALL see it.  

Here's the thing: WE JUST DID THIS SAME EXACT SCENARIO EXACTLY ONE MONTH AGO!!  

This SAME thing JUST happened.  Her acting like she can do whatever she likes.  Last time I found Cat #2 crying at her door for like five minutes and I realized he was in the hallway and I let her have it.  Although this time he didn't get out.  

Want to know why she's acting out?  Because I didn't make Christmas dinner yesterday.  Instead, my ex-husband called me and told me they were making homemade pizza for dinner, so I copied him, because I was tired AF and didn't want ham.  So I made homemade pizza.  Which was damn good, btw (I make kickass pizza, but since I don't eat dairy or acidic food, I make my own version of pizza for myself which is really, really good, but normal pizza for everyone else).  But it wasn't ham and potatoes and green bean casserole.  So mother was complaining about it.  

Well guess what?  I have been looking for a good reason to knock her cigarettes down to 3 (I had her down to four before Thanksgiving) and now I have a good reason to.  I mean, she's on her way to quitting.  She doesn't agree she should, but I don't care, I DO NOT want to buy one more bag of tobacco.  I have about a third of a bag left and I want to get her to zero by the end of the bag.  But this is the right time to go down to three.  She's already cranky, so why not?  

So yes.  Mother is always up to her tricks.  She has so very tricks left, but this is one of them.  And lowering her "smokies" intake will piss her off even more.  Oh well.  HAPPY HOLIDAYS, Y'ALL!  WHOO HOO!  

Okay, so there's one more thing that happened today, but this is something totally different, so I will post that in the next post.  So feel free to read on, as this one is a doozy. 

  

via GIPHY