It's Tuesday, January 28th, 2025.  I had my hysterectomy last Thursday, the 23rd.  It was terrifying, but it's been five days and I am doing better.  I still can't do much without pain, so I stay still most of the time.  I have made the mistake twice of feeling great, then doing too much, and then being in pain afterwards.  Today is one of those days.  We went to my therapist appointment and there's a graveyard nearby, so we went trapsing around the cemetery (it was so cool!) and immediately my incision started hurting.  Ugh.  

But I had my procedure and my recovery so far, and my mother doesn't know a damn thing about it.  Thank goodness.  Not that she'd care, but it's none of her business and I don't want her to know about it.  If she finds out, she will pretend to care, which is actually worse.  So it's just better she just doesn't find out at all.  

So, my procedure was scheduled at 6am and we got there at 5:30.  We woke up to a snowstorm, which sucked because a) I am terrified of driving/riding in the snow and b) we hadn't had snow yet this year.  We live in the north.  We used to get snow for Thanksgiving.  But with the weather patterns changing, we haven't had snow until January for the past few years.  But this year, we got that snowstorm, and then it melted the next day which was in the forties.  The weather here is so wonky anymore, and we're almost to the point of getting rid of winter as a whole, which I do not like.  Though I do like being able to drive most days without snow.  

We get there and it's like a little kiosk in a mall, you sign in, and then they come get you and put you into a tiny room with one bed and a TV.  You get undressed, they blood test you, IV you, and get you all comfy with blankets and pillows.  It's almost spa-like LOL  I did not expect that.  So we watched TV and they came in and said "Okay, time to go!"  I panicked.  I have pretty bad anxiety, but she said "Oh don't worry, I am going to give you something for that" and she injected something into my IV and bam...I felt fine.  I was even fully aware and happy in the OR room (but not crazy happy, just calm).  I even got to look around and see everything without feeling totally numb or disassociating, as I usually do when I have a procedure done.  

And just like that, I woke up.  I was shaking from freezing so bad, that my teeth were clattering together.  The nurse put a heating tube in my gown and I immediately felt better.  I was so groggy though, I could not think straight.  But that lasted only a few minutes and then I went off back to my room, where they said "Well, when you feel good enough to get dressed, you can go home."  I was super dizzy, but eventually that wore off, too.  And I went home.  They lost my hat.  Well, someone lost my hat, I don't know if it's lost in our house at the hospital, but it's gone.  My favorite hat, too.  Sigh.  

Recovery sucked.  I am hypermobile, which means sleeping is where I get most of my pain from, and I am always tossing and turning (we are buying a new mattress next month).  But I cannot sleep on my back, like at all, because a) I have pharyngeal spasms (my throat closes) due to to post nasal drip, and b) it's excruciating.  Well, I can't sleep on my side with three incisions in my belly, so I have to sleep with a couch pillow under my legs, and a triangle pillow under my upper back, neck, and head.  If I crick my neck to either side, I always pinch nerves in my neck, which gives me migraines, so I have to sleep with my bathrobe balled up against one side and a pair of sweatpants balled up on the other side, to keep my head in place.  IT'S SO WEIRD!!!  And fucking painful.  But, I will say, I am only waking up once a night to pee, so that's good.  And I get a full night's sleep.  The night I came home, I didn't sleep at all, neither did I the night before, so I was anxious about not being able to sleep, but I did and have been ever since.  Thank goodness.  

Here's what they don't tell you about recovery: you're throat can hurt.  BADLY.  So bad, you can barely eat, as though you got your tonsils removed.  And the pain can radiate through your shoulders and down into your back and diaphragm.  And it can be horrible.  I am not trying to scare anyone, as I have found what helps: Tylenol...and ICE water.  Must be iced.  Hot damn, does that help!  My sore throat moved all the way to my voice box and I could barely speak for an entire day.  And it didn't start the day after, but two days after!  And DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, eat anything aggravating: tomato crap, vinegar crap, citrus, etc.  Oh god, just don't do it!  I did, and I paid greatly for it!  

I am still drinking my ice water now.  It helps soooo much! 

Okay, so I got my results back from them dissecting Big Birtha (I named her posthumously--she's given birth to two children and one angel child from a miscarriage many years ago) and I was right!  I have adenomyosis.  I knew it!  I am very glad I had this done, as that shit causes PAIN and bleeding.  The IUD helped with that, but I FINALLY lost all the weight from my two Mirena IUD insertions (30lbs each!!) and I have gone over a year without a migraine (minus one time) and I refused to get another IUD.  Turns out, I would have bled post menopause due to the fact that I had both that and polyps.  So this procedure was needed WAY more than anything else. 

Also, there was an EXTRA piece of meat they pulled out and an extra tube...as if I had an extra malformed uterus or something...WTF???? 

Here, I will bold the parts that confuse me and I will be asking my doctor about: 

Received in formalin is an intact 155 g hysterectomy specimen consisting of uterus and cervix (8.5 cm cervix to fundus by 6.5 cm cornu to cornu by 4.5 cm anterior to posterior), two fimbriated fallopian tubes (3.0 cm in length by 0.7 cm in diameter and 4.5 cm in length by 0.7 cm in diameter), an additional tube piece (5.0 cm in length by 0.6 cm in diameter), an ovary (2.5 x 2.5 x 1.8 cm), and an additional piece of tan-pink soft tissue (3.0 x 2.0 x 1.7 cm) with a partially smooth, partially roughened outer surface.  The additional piece of soft tissue is sectioned to reveal a tan-pink, fibrous cut surface.

So uh, that "extra piece of tube" is BIGGER than my actual fallopians!!   And who put that big hunk of meat in there and what was it attached to?  Was that even supposed to come out?  What in the hell?  Aahhhh how did they not see this back when I would get ultrasounds and whatnot??  Where was it hiding??!!  This is freaky, like finding out you had a twin you absorbed living inside of you!  I am just glad it didn't show that this thing had teeth!  

Here are my results for what was wrong with Birtha: 

So yes, I am glad to say goodbye to Big Birtha.  She gave her all.  She gave me two amazing kids and knew it was a good idea to not have a baby at seventeen years old and decided to end that pregnancy for me (I didn't even know I was pregnant).  She did well.  Yes, she GAVE ME SHIT the rest of the time.  Tried to expel my second child way too early and put me in the ER a week after he was born, in which I had to have a D&C.  And then put me in the ER many times after that with gross-ass bleeding that was abnormal (hence the need for the IUD).  But hey, she did what she could.  She was a problem child, but I forgive her.  She didn't mean to do the things she did.  It's all over now.  She has been put out to pasture and sleeps with the fishies now.  I loved her.  And hated her.  But I will be, forever and always, grateful to her angry little fist-sized self.  

Thank you Birtha.  I bid you farewell and wish you happiness on your journeys.  To the dump.  Or ever they put biological medical waste these days.  

 Let's just hope that extra "tissue" was just...well, I have no idea what it could be.  I am going to call their office to get into see them for a checkup and I will ask then LOL  Because EWWWWWW!  And yay!  It's all over but the healing now.  And I am grateful for that, too.  But for my kids?  This entire journey with her was worth it.  Rest well, sweet Birtha.  You did well.  Well, for like 18 months.  The rest of the time you were shit, but still.  Best 18 months ever!