Sigh.  

Mother wants to cash in her lottery tickets.  Why?  She's not allowed to have cash and she knows it.  The last time she bribed Christmas to buy her illegal (illegal in this house) cat medication and I told her she's no longer allowed to have cash.  Ever.  And she wants me to take her to the gas station to cash in her tickets.  I don't even know where she got them!!  I think she stole them from one of my kids' birthdays.  Oh well, I will get them, cash them (if they're still valid) and put the money in my drawer.  She wants to buy juice.  Bullshit.  She has juice in the fridge (diabetic juice at that).  She actually wants to buy cigarettes.  She's down to 3 a day now.  And I guarantee you she wants to beef up her daily intake by buying a pack and supplementing her daily intake of nicotine.  

Like that's going to happen. 

So, on Friday, I took her to get her ID (because her license is not only expired, but lost somewhere).  That was the last time she'll ever need to step foot in a DMV, as at her age they get a lifetime ID.  I told her we should celebrate.  It's a huge milestone.  Everyone hates the DMV and now she'll never have to go back again.  But that just annoyed her, stating it was "just closer to dying!".  Instead, she wanted to stop at the gas station to cash in her lottery tickets.  I said no, I have a doctor's appointment, and we needed to get home.  She says "Oh?  Don't worry, you can go and leave me in the car."  I laughed and said I had to get something at home.  Well the whole time she's up my ass about me not being late.  Every time I walked back through my bedroom door to do something she kept saying "You're going to be late!!"  I just ignored her.  I know she was just trying to prove I was lying.  I was lying.  But I did leave and go to the resale shop, so that's kind of an appointment.  I had get there before it closed.  

I am going to take her tickets, cash them if I can, and when she asks for them, I will say "You know you're not allowed to have cash.  After what you did last time, remember?  I do not trust you anymore.  For any reason, whatsoever."  Just like she's not allowed to have my dogs in the kitchen with her while she eats dinner.  I have a kitchen camera and watched her literally SHOVEL food into their mouths two seconds after she told me "I would never do that!" after I said my dogs get sick on people food and aren't allowed to have any.  She did it twice, after I walked out and said not to do it, after I saw her do it, and she said "No, I'd never do that.  Don't worry."  Then picks up her fork FILLED with food and shovels it into both dogs' mouths, once again, mere seconds after I turned my back.  

I swear to god she has ZERO respect for me.  She just fears me.  Not that I'll get mad and scream, as I almost never do that, but that I will take away her privileges, like a child.  Well, at least she takes me seriously, right?  She does not love me, nor does she respect me at all, but she does take me seriously.  And that's all because I hold to my forever boundaries.  

Forever boundaries are boundaries I will keep with her FOREVER.  She's NEVER allowed in my bedroom.  She's NEVER allowed to go down the basement alone (she's a bad fall risk).  She's never allowed to have that assface twathead Brudiddly-uce over (he's in love with her--and angry that she lives with me and not him--he's toxic and awful).  She's NEVER allowed to hit me in the head (like she used to on a daily basis--to everyone in my household).  She's NEVER allowed to have my dogs with her while she eats and she's NEVER allowed to have cash.  There were more boundaries but they're no longer valid now, as she's outgrown them (like taking out the garbage, etc.).  If you read my past posts, you'll know why all of these are in place.  I've been writing since day one of all of this.  I keep track to remind myself (and others if need be) when I forget or if the details are fuzzy.  I write it all down so I always have access to my past without her trying to rewrite it, as she always does.  

So here is to Forever Boundaries: the boundaries we NEVER let up on, no matter what.  Because those, my friends, are the only way to keep the peace when living, or dealing with a narcissist.  Because once you let up for just a moment, they will see that and swoop right and try to take over your life again.  Go no contact if you can, but if you can't, then keep forever boundaries.  You, and you family, will be so much better off for it.